Too lazy to post anything real, so here is this...

When They Put Up a Barn, It Stays Up

Old black guy #1: You know who really has their shit together?
Old black guy #2: Who?
Old black guy #1: The Amish.
Old black guy #2: For sure.

--F train

via Overheard in New York, Feb 26, 2007

Hoo-hoo

Nobody in New York Knows the Difference between At-Home and Outside Conversations

Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book?
Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this morning and asked Mommy what she was doing and she said shaving her hoo-hoo. Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Dylan, remember when we discussed at-home conversations and outside conversations?
Yuppie kid: Yes.
Yuppie dad: Well, this is an at-home conversation.
Yuppie kid: Okay, daddy. [Sings to herself quietly] Mommmyyy shaves her hoo-hooo...
Black lady: See, home conversating, outside conversating -- that's bullshit. My kid says shit like that, I smack him. He won't say shit like that again.
Yuppie dad: Okay, thank you, but I think our method works just fine.
Yuppie kid: Lady, do you shave your hoo-hoo?
Black lady: Oh, yeah, that shit is workin' just fine. She's all kinds of polite.
Yuppie dad: Okay, Dylan, this is our stop.

--R train

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

via Overheard in New York, Feb 22, 2007

FIEDLER IS FAMOUS!

I got Frannie and Frabney's dog Fiedler on MyPetSmiles.com. He's the springer spaniel with the mullet!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S WORLD NUTELLA DAY!!!!!

Padawan Fraham!

Friend Matt from The Dave and Matt Show used his Jedi senses to see that Fraham is full of midi-chlorians. Here is Fraham practicing with his light sabers. Thanks for the photo, Matt! (har har)

FRIED RICE!!!!!

Ok, been on Jenny Craig for two weeks. Lost 3.8 lbs. And am CRAVING house special fried rice, which essentially is fried rice with the ends and bits from other dishes: shrimp, roast pork, chicken, and whatever else happens to be laying around.

JC is quite filling, but there is nothing like giant bowl of carbs and meat.


Photo stolen from The Food Pornographer

Boom boom boom now let me hear you say wayoh (2-2-07)

EUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
http://www.gellibaff.co.uk/

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You know how it's bad luck if a black cat crosses your path? Well, what does it mean when a person eating a slice of pizza crosses your path? For that matter, two people eating slices coming from different directions. What's weird is I am seeing a lot of people walking by eating a slice. Out in the New York air. Down the street. All hours. Eating and walking.

Now, it's been firmly established that I have germ issues. And I find an entire triangle of cheesy pizza to be essentially fly paper to the flying detritus of New York City. So, I still don't understand why I have seen so many people walking and eating pizza lately. And they aren't doing the New York fold either. They are just eating the point and going on in, exposing their slice to the elements.

I can see the appeal of pizza. I can see the appeal of walking. But walking and eating a slice of pizza is really beyond me. It's not hand-holding friendly like a pretzel or a hot dog. It's drippy and, if done right, greasy.

You know I am probably seeing more people eating pizza in the street because I am on a diet. Damn diet.

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This week's horoscopes go out to:
The Dave and Matt Show - thanks for the shout out! (Check them out!)
Saumya - see ya tonight!
Bob and Russell - big kiss!

+================================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at:
Free Will Astrology
By Rob Brezsny
Horoscopes for week of February 1, 2007
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

See you at the party village at Stonehenge!

Can you imagine? 25 huts, bunch of druids, giant rocks. It would make a great reality show.


CNN's story about villages at Stonehenge.

Scream and wave your hands if you love pandas!

This little peanut...



...became this roly-poly panda!!!!

see pandas!

LOOK AT THIS

The panda's squareness makes my heart ache.

From cuteoverload.com

I pity the fool...

Why would you do this to your dog?

With friends like these...

My friend Frannie forwarded me this article in today's NYT. The article says that scientists have found that stroke victims who have damaged their insula are no longer addicted to smoking.

So Frannie said: "I'll bring my wedge (golf instrument) next time I am in NYC."

She is so kind.

Ironman lives again. (1-25-07)

Oh, what a week. Because of the overwhelming complaints by my intestinal system due to Nutrisystem, I switched to Jenny Craig. You know the one -- they have Kirstie Alley as their pitch woman. So far, so good. The JC food is MUCH better (Nutrisystem tastes ok, but looks like cat vomit) and my intestines have quieted down. You can barely hear them over the street noise now! What an improvement (for me at least, not those down wind of me)!

+======================+
Also, my bro (Frike), sis-in-law (Fren) and nephew (Fraham) have been in town visiting from chilly, chilly Iowa. Yes, they are practically the only Asians in the Greater Des Moines area. You can see them from miles away -- they are the ones with black hair.

Well, you would think that they came a-visitin' to see family and friends, right? Well, partially. But the REAL reason they came to visit was KOREAN FOOD. There seems to be a general lack of Korean food in Iowa. Are you surprised? They have to travel to Chicago to get to a Korean restaurant.

What amuses me most about this is that when we were kids, we used to make fun of my parents for doing the same thing -- traveling far distances just to get mediocre, if not horrible, Korean food (In NYC, it's pretty good; but wait until you have tried Korean food in a tiny Georgia town - mmmmm. not). It wouldn't matter where we were -- if there was a Korean restaurant, we went. Even if it was an hour out of our way. As a kid, I thought - what's the big deal? There are so many other great restaurants to go to -- McDonald's! Wendy's! Pizza! But my parents would sadly shake their heads, rueing the day that they ever stepped on this continent, exposing their young to American culture.

However, now I understand. Korean food is so hard to make -- you have to pound and mush and blend and marinate all sorts of little things in order to get the smallest dish ready. Don't even get me started on kimchee (scroll down for Kimchee recipe) or the spinach side dish . Let me tell you - cleaning 2 bunches of spinach, cooking it and getting back barely a cup full is not worth the effort.

So, I am not the least bit offended that my family comes to New York to eat Korean food. At least I get to see them between bites.

Here's a slideshow of my nephew Fraham -- I think he will either grow up to be a Jedi or a drummer. Not sure yet.

+================================+
Freileen Frillis (aka "Maria Elena") is playing with her band, Pistolera, at the Mercury Lounge (NYC) tomorrow night at 10:30 PM. $10 cover. Check 'em out!

+================================+
Sugar to cure Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)!!!

+================================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Frichelle Frertischek
Frandy Free
Frike, Fren and Fraham

+================================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 25
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny

Busted at Whole Foods

I took this picture of satsuma mandarin oranges at Whole Foods (Columbus Circle) because satsumas grow around the place where I grew up in Jacksonville. The neighborhood I grew up in is called Mandarin because - yep, you guessed it -- of the oranges. There used to be tons of orange groves in my neighborhood before suburban sprawl occurred. Now there are just a few farms which grow satsumas. So, in a fit of nostalgia, I took this photograph:


However, immediately after I took the photo, I was told by the produce manager that no photos are allowed in the store. No photos???? I understand if it was the Met or Area 51 or the morgue, but a grocery store? COME ON!

MOCHI

Mochi is this great rice dessert that is very popular in Asia. My friend FrAnnie took this video while in Japan -- it's awesome!



Mochi is not easy to make, as you can see from the video. However, it's worth every penny to buy. My fav in NYC is Minamoto Kitchoan which is near Rockefeller Center.

toot toot, barrroooooom! (1-17-07)

Title thanks to Frim Frecker of Boulder, CO!

+============================+
So I started Nutrisystem yesterday. The food does not have to be refrigerated. Pretty scary, huh? It arrived in a giant box which was full of aluminum foiled packets and strange boxes with titles that said: BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, SNACK, DESSERT. I am not kidding. There are pretty photos of the food and they tell you what is inside, but just in case you forget which meal it is, they label it. And it is important because breakfast and lunch pretty much SUCK. I am liable to eat DINNER for all meals, but that would be counterproductive to the diet.

My only complaint about this program is the amount of dairy and fiber. On top of the food being chock full of fiber (my breakfast muffin had EIGHT grams of fiber!!!!!) and protein, I have to eat dairy twice a day, protein twice a day, salad twice a day, veggies at night AND a multivitamin twice a day. My body doesn't know what to do with itself. So instead of just quietly going along with this, it has revolted and is voicing its opinion all freakin' day. Yes, I admit it -- I am sooooo farty right now that i can't take it. I have had to make many a walk outside just to get some relief. That mysterious odor all over Manhattan last week? Yep -- that was me.

+============================+
The Bush Family wants to move W's papers and documents to Southern Methodist University in Dallas. However, some professors and students are against the idea. I think it would be a great thing -- he can't have THAT much stuff, I mean, come on -- it's George W. Can he read? There will probably be just a lot of audio tapes, most definitely of illegal wiretaping. Also, it could have the best motto on the building:

The George W. Bush Library: 10 Million Malapropisms Told.

+============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Fraumya, CROCHET NIGHT!
Frichelle and Frasha, burgers are the way to go! And too bad about your couch, Frichelle
FRYVETTE! HAPPY BELATED!
Frike, Frennifer and Fraham, can't wait to see you this weekend!

+============================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 18
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny

Bad photo gene

I can't seem to EVER take a photo with a straight, normal, smiling face. It's IMPOSSIBLE.


Frasha and me at Frockhits.

Frobi pulls through!

Frobi and Frado

Ta-Da!

I have a friend named Frobi* who lives in Panama (the country) and since she had her little one, she has sent me numerous photos -- all of which are blurry, out of focus or just show a portion of the child's head. Finally, she sends me a good picture - but even though he is about a year old, he looks about 6 months in this photo. So this is a call to action, Frobi -- get someone else to take a photo of your son, Frado, particularly someone with steady hands and with the ability to focus.



Frado and pop Friers

Your weekly, friendly froroscope! (1-10-07)

My friend Frathy* (Names have been changed to protect their identities) invited me to her son, Fram's 1st birthday. Now most of you are probably thinking, whoopee, 1st birthday, but in Korean culture, the first birthday was something to celebrate. Way back when (and if you think about it, even now) children who survived to their first birthday were given a special celebration called the Ttol (or dol). Actually, the first day of celebration (beyond the birth) is 100 days. Because if you lasted to 100 days (Baek-il), you were really doing well.

So the first birthday is called the Chut-tol and at the party, the Toljabi is performed. Here, the child wears a han-bok (traditional Korean outfit) and is set in front of a table of plenty (mostly stacked fruit, candies, sweet rice cakes which show to your guests the wealth and plenty of your family and which later, will be given out as treats for the guests). See Fram's table:


The child has to choose from several items (listed below) which will predict his/her future. They include:

-bow and arrow: the child will become a warrior
-needle and thread/noodles: the child will live long
-jujube: the child will have many descendants
-book, pencil, or related items: the child will become a successful scholar
-rice or rice cake: the child will become rich (some resources say choosing a rice cake means the child is not smart)
-ruler, needle, scissors: the child will be talented with his/her hands
-knife: the child will be a good cook
-money: the child will become rich

Now, most parents want the child to choose money because dammit, someone has to pay for college. Fram chose the noodles, rice and money!

Here's a photo of Fram with his hanbok on -- too cute!!! And he even wore the hat for most of the morning.


Here's a photo of me from my tol.


Just kidding. My friend Freven made this one up. I did have a tol, but no one can remember what I chose.

[Note: most of this text was stolen from this site]
+=============================+
After a week of really weird weather (70F in NYC???), it is now snowing outside. However, from my window at work, the snow is traveling from the ground to the sky. Which shows me that this is Satan's snow and the devil's work. Everyone who said they would be sitting next to me in hell, get ready! I'll see you there!

+=============================+
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:

HAPPY B-DAY to Fram
HAPPY BELATED B-DAY to my nephew, Fraham
HAPPY B-DAY to Fremily Ferstle
Dedicated reader since 2006, Harris R. (or Frarris Fr.)
Frobyn aka "The Girl Who Ate Everything" (http://www.roboppy.net/food/ ) - WELCOME BACK
Frarey, Freven, Fralex and Frephany - SRIPRAPHAI mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Frasha - sorry I bailed!

+=============================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 4
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny