It's me -- South Park-ized. Thanks Annie!
http://www.sp-studio.de/
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Who wants to get trashed on Friday night? (7/26/06)
This is one of my favorite blogs - Weird Meat! This guy writes about the "strange" meat he eats. Personally, it's only weird to him. People who live there find it totally normal. Or almost normal. Ok, it's a little weird.
+====================+
I caved into peer pressure and created a myspace page. The minute I posted my information, I got harangued by them. They are everywhere. They pursue me like a cat after catnip. They are Men Who Are Obsessed With Asian Women (MWAOWAW). I have been receiving obsessive and annoying emails from MWAOWAW. Most are nice:
just wanted to say hi.
Checking out his profile, he has tons of friends who are Asian -- Asian girls. MWAOWAW in disguise.
Then I added "Ironman" by Black Sabbath to see if it would change things up. It did:
YOU LIKE THAT YOU WOULD BE A GREAT PRESON TO BE WITH..WRITE ME BACK...
Huh?
Then things took a turn for the worse:
im [NAME REMOVED] from the bronx. you are so pretty mami. mwah. a kiss boricua style just for you. im new here on myspace so drop me a line whenever. peace.
That one made my friend Michael roll on the floor. I think Michael is giving kisses boricua style now too.
And then it just got damn sad. And gross.
i love asian women! im pitching a tent
After that, I decided to remove my ethnic status AND some other identifiers.
I haven't gotten another proposition since. Oddly enough I miss them.
+=================+
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!!!
BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR FIRST WEEK OF WORK, JEN B!!
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 27, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+====================+
I caved into peer pressure and created a myspace page. The minute I posted my information, I got harangued by them. They are everywhere. They pursue me like a cat after catnip. They are Men Who Are Obsessed With Asian Women (MWAOWAW). I have been receiving obsessive and annoying emails from MWAOWAW. Most are nice:
just wanted to say hi.
Checking out his profile, he has tons of friends who are Asian -- Asian girls. MWAOWAW in disguise.
Then I added "Ironman" by Black Sabbath to see if it would change things up. It did:
YOU LIKE THAT YOU WOULD BE A GREAT PRESON TO BE WITH..WRITE ME BACK...
Huh?
Then things took a turn for the worse:
im [NAME REMOVED] from the bronx. you are so pretty mami. mwah. a kiss boricua style just for you. im new here on myspace so drop me a line whenever. peace.
That one made my friend Michael roll on the floor. I think Michael is giving kisses boricua style now too.
And then it just got damn sad. And gross.
i love asian women! im pitching a tent
After that, I decided to remove my ethnic status AND some other identifiers.
I haven't gotten another proposition since. Oddly enough I miss them.
+=================+
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!!!
BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR FIRST WEEK OF WORK, JEN B!!
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 27, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Mad Scientist!
I got a huge belly laugh from this story in today's New York Times:
South Korean Scientist Tried To Clone Mammoth. (Reuters) Dr. Hwang Woo-suk, the fallen stem-cell scientist, said at his trial on charges he embezzled public and private research funds, that he spent some of the money trying to clone a mammoth. "We secured mammoth tissues from glaciers and tried cloning three times, but failed," he said.
South Korean Scientist Tried To Clone Mammoth. (Reuters) Dr. Hwang Woo-suk, the fallen stem-cell scientist, said at his trial on charges he embezzled public and private research funds, that he spent some of the money trying to clone a mammoth. "We secured mammoth tissues from glaciers and tried cloning three times, but failed," he said.
Monday, July 24, 2006
myspace sucks
i caved into the myspace peer pressure and now I am addicted. To what? I am not sure. I don't understand myspace. First, the site is very buggy or just horribly crowded, blocking up the server. Second, the most random people are emailing me. Most of them are looking for Asians to add to their collection. It's a bit of a trainwreck, but one i can't stop watching.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
annual family picture 2006
God love Sugarbush farm and this fantastic photo opportunity. This is Dave, Ashley and myself prancing on the fields of Sugarbush Farm, which makes the most amazing CHEESE! And yes, I am willing to break the lactose intolerance code for their amazing cheese.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
1DA WMN
So this guy at work was telling us how he spent the night at a friend's up in Harlem and he was walking to the subway on his way to work. He was dragging his feet, major caffeine-withdrawal, when this homeless man shouted,
"WAKE UP, SLEEP CRACKER! IT'S TIME TO GO TO WORK!"
And just because I want to know, I googled the phrase in Blog Search and found out that it got in Overheard in New York!
+===================+
Can you believe Pamela Anderson is marrying Kid Rock? Marrying him. Of course, it could be trrrruuuuuuuuuu lurrrve.
I bet seven months, $15 down.
+===================+
I have been spending 12-14 hours at work for the last two weeks. Bring on the sympathy.
And the end won't be near until August 19. Pray that August 19 comes fast. Real fast.
+===================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, BOB
MANY THANKS TO YVETTE (thanks for my keys!!!)
+===================+
Check out your horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 20, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
"WAKE UP, SLEEP CRACKER! IT'S TIME TO GO TO WORK!"
And just because I want to know, I googled the phrase in Blog Search and found out that it got in Overheard in New York!
+===================+
Can you believe Pamela Anderson is marrying Kid Rock? Marrying him. Of course, it could be trrrruuuuuuuuuu lurrrve.
I bet seven months, $15 down.
+===================+
I have been spending 12-14 hours at work for the last two weeks. Bring on the sympathy.
And the end won't be near until August 19. Pray that August 19 comes fast. Real fast.
+===================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, BOB
MANY THANKS TO YVETTE (thanks for my keys!!!)
+===================+
Check out your horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 20, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
More medical studies into the blaringly obvious....
In an article published in the The Wall Street Journal today....
"Go Ask Alice: Mushroom Drug Is Studied Anew"
By Ron Winslow
In a study that could revive interest in researching the effects of psychedelic drugs, scientists at Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions said a substance in certain mushrooms induced powerful, mind-altering experiences among a group of well-educated, middle-age men and women.
"Go Ask Alice: Mushroom Drug Is Studied Anew"
By Ron Winslow
In a study that could revive interest in researching the effects of psychedelic drugs, scientists at Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions said a substance in certain mushrooms induced powerful, mind-altering experiences among a group of well-educated, middle-age men and women.
Saturday, July 8, 2006
U.S. National Alpine Sledding Team
Thank goodness Ann's camera didn't eat her photos. Alpine sledding is essentially you sitting in the blue sled, shooting down a polyurethane tube down a mountain. It's fun :)
The Contrarian is tan and really itchy.
Okay, my friend Annie got this from her friend Jeff and I have to say, it is genius. He took the photo block of Annie and me and made the most psychedelic movie. Check it out!
+===============+
I was in lovely West Bridgewater, Vermont, with Jen, Annie, Dabney, Jess, Isaac, Philip, Carmela, Ashley, Davey and Professor Emeritus Fielder. We spent most of the time drinking, eating, swimming, drinking, making campfires, drinking, playing dominos, eating cheese, drinking, sleeping and some laundry (that was me). It was great. And I USED to have pictures to prove it. I am what the IT departments call the most dangerous of users: I know enough to make a lot of trouble. So I pushed some buttons, changed some formats and lost all of my photos except for this one:
There really is nothing else to say. Nothing.
Lessons learned from this vacation:
+===============+
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHELLE ERTISCHECK
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, SUN AE
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI
+===============+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
+===============+
I was in lovely West Bridgewater, Vermont, with Jen, Annie, Dabney, Jess, Isaac, Philip, Carmela, Ashley, Davey and Professor Emeritus Fielder. We spent most of the time drinking, eating, swimming, drinking, making campfires, drinking, playing dominos, eating cheese, drinking, sleeping and some laundry (that was me). It was great. And I USED to have pictures to prove it. I am what the IT departments call the most dangerous of users: I know enough to make a lot of trouble. So I pushed some buttons, changed some formats and lost all of my photos except for this one:
There really is nothing else to say. Nothing.
Lessons learned from this vacation:
- Read the manual to my camera BEFORE I start playing with it
- Bring more OFF and find a stronger bug bite medication
- Dominos and tennis must be learned before the next 4th of July
- I normally don't drink so this year I am going to start drinking more in May - June, building the tolerance. This way, next 4th of July I won't pass out at 11 PM.
+===============+
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHELLE ERTISCHECK
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, SUN AE
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI
+===============+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 6, 2006
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Horoscopes for week of July 6, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
BELATED BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI!!!!!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI!!!!!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI!!!!!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GOBI!!!!!
Medical studies in the obvious
It seems to me that most of the studies lately are studying the obvious. Take these studies for example:
- MILD SADNESS PROVOKES DEPRESSIVE THINKING IN SOME RECOVERED PATIENTS
- EARLY DRINKING LINKED TO RISK FOR ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE
Something I ate doesn't want to stay in (6-29-06)
There should be a public service campaign about picking your nose in public. I have seen WAY too many people lately just sticking their fingers in their nose and digging things out. Luckily, I haven't seen too much eating of the boogers, but there is still a lot of picking going on in the subway. Maybe people think that because they are in an enclosed space, underground, that it is okay to launch into the nasal canal. Most of the pickers are men, over the age of 20. Men who should know better. There are a few number of oldies - and maybe that is acceptable. But there are a large number of Gen X and Y picking their noses.
Now it is not all men who do this. I have seen one woman pick her nose on the subway. She looked like Alice in Wonderland. She had straight blond hair and was wearing this pretty pink sweater set, skirt and cute shoes. She was wearing hose as well. She was listening to her CD player, reading in her notebook, and sticking her finger up her nose, like she was digging for gold. She just relentlessly went up there, digging forward, then back, getting to a corner or two. I watched her for two whole stops and finally had to get off (it was my stop) but she probably kept digging in there after I left. I think it was comforting to her.
+==========================+
Did you know there is a product out there by Bald Guyz called HeadWipes? I love their name and the name of their product. There is absolutely no question as to who their market audience is and what they sell. They sell head wipes. Who are they? Bald Guyz. Simplicity at its best!
http://www.baldguyz.com/
+==========================+
VERMONT, HERE I COME!
Can't wait to see you, Jen, Ann, Dabney, Fiedler, Jess, Isaac, Philip, Carmela, Ashley and Dave!
Happy Birthday, Alex!
Lisa D -- Here's your horoscope -- ya happy???!!! (PS -- I am billing ADMIN for this) *KIDDING
+==========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at
F
Friday, June 23, 2006
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Bob!
My superfriend, Bob the Captain of Dinoship, is quoted in an article about Superman. Here is a photo of Captain Bob and his partner, Russell, The Avenging Vegan (left).
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Comments from my bacon confession
Email from Oliver K:
I’m doing a little bacon dance, and a little bacon chant. Well, in my head I am.
I don’t think there are enough bacon tee shirts.
I have an “I love butter” shirt, but that’s only half way there.
Why don’t they have bacon perfume? Ok, I guess I can figure that one out.
But, I have yet to eat rotten bacon. You win the bacon loving contest… dammit.
Email from Matt S:
Wow, yeah ... stay on top of those expiration dates.
And later in the elevator at work:
What were you thinking? You just kept eating the bacon...Munch, this tastes funny, munch, it still tastes funny...
I’m doing a little bacon dance, and a little bacon chant. Well, in my head I am.
I don’t think there are enough bacon tee shirts.
I have an “I love butter” shirt, but that’s only half way there.
Why don’t they have bacon perfume? Ok, I guess I can figure that one out.
But, I have yet to eat rotten bacon. You win the bacon loving contest… dammit.
Email from Matt S:
Wow, yeah ... stay on top of those expiration dates.
And later in the elevator at work:
What were you thinking? You just kept eating the bacon...Munch, this tastes funny, munch, it still tastes funny...
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
My eyeballs feel like two sandpaper covered ping pong balls (6/21/06)
I forgot to tell you: two weeks ago, I experienced something pretty gross. Now if you know me, then you KNOW how much a stickler I am about germs and cleanliness. I am also really careful about food -- if it smells bad/looks bad/remotely tastes wrong, then it's out.
Well, one morning I decided to microwave some bacon (past bacon frying incident
made me wary of frying it in a pan).
Well, I nuked the bacon and it looked a little strange. However I have never nuked bacon before so what do I know? I took a bit and thought, hmm, that's strange. It doesn't taste right. It tastes not so good. Dare I say, off. But I thought, hmm, maybe it was just that one piece. So I took another slice and ate it. That one tasted weird too. I thought -- maybe it's just the applewood smoke flavor. Needless to say, I ate all the bacon even though I felt there was something wrong with it. So AFTER I ate the bacon, I checked the fridge and lo and behold! I ate the bacon I meant to throw away because it was a month past its expiration date. Needless to say, I wasn't well after that.
Fortunately, I haven't gone off bacon. I just throw things out of my fridge quicker.
+===============+
My houseguests, annie and dabney, and my housedog, fiedler, were a joy to have around. They were here for the Renegade Craft Fair. Ann and Dabney have a business called Mogo (http://mogogoods.com/) and they were here in NYC (Brooklyn to be exact) selling their goods ;) I got the chance to teach Fiedler a new trick -- folding laundry at my laundromat. He's quite good at it now. Check out A&D's blog for a recap of the weekend and check out my blog for my recap and photos as well.
+===============+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Sleep, I miss thee
Martha L and Martha A, aka The Marthas
+===============+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 22, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Well, one morning I decided to microwave some bacon (past bacon frying incident
made me wary of frying it in a pan).
Well, I nuked the bacon and it looked a little strange. However I have never nuked bacon before so what do I know? I took a bit and thought, hmm, that's strange. It doesn't taste right. It tastes not so good. Dare I say, off. But I thought, hmm, maybe it was just that one piece. So I took another slice and ate it. That one tasted weird too. I thought -- maybe it's just the applewood smoke flavor. Needless to say, I ate all the bacon even though I felt there was something wrong with it. So AFTER I ate the bacon, I checked the fridge and lo and behold! I ate the bacon I meant to throw away because it was a month past its expiration date. Needless to say, I wasn't well after that.
Fortunately, I haven't gone off bacon. I just throw things out of my fridge quicker.
+===============+
My houseguests, annie and dabney, and my housedog, fiedler, were a joy to have around. They were here for the Renegade Craft Fair. Ann and Dabney have a business called Mogo (http://mogogoods.com/) and they were here in NYC (Brooklyn to be exact) selling their goods ;) I got the chance to teach Fiedler a new trick -- folding laundry at my laundromat. He's quite good at it now. Check out A&D's blog for a recap of the weekend and check out my blog for my recap and photos as well.
+===============+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Sleep, I miss thee
Martha L and Martha A, aka The Marthas
+===============+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 22, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tricks You Shouldn't Teach Your Baby
This is Catriona and her mommy and daddy taught her how to stick out her tongue. And now, she sticks out her tongue a lot.
She also has a great smile.
XOXO to Mija, Kevin and Catriona!
She also has a great smile.
XOXO to Mija, Kevin and Catriona!
I'm only 33% Southern -- I am definitely a Yankee!
Try the "Are you a Yankee or a Rebel" test . I didn't think I was a Rebel, but I didn't realize how much of a die-hard Yankee I am!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
At the Renegade Craft Fair
The many faces of Ann and Michelle: thus proving they are not the same person.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Disclaimer to previous post
Gobi is not married to a giant preppy Superman looking guy, but she has a guy and they have a truly beautiful son named Pado.
Beano works 50% of the time (6-14-06)
It's Flag Day and it is also somebody's birthday. I don't know whose though. If it is you, let me know.
+======================+
I have been VERY remiss with my reporting. So quickly:
>> Went to Clermont, FL, and spent time with the folks. Learned that I am really an 80 year old trapped in a 33 year old's body. Love walking up at the crack of dawn. Love aquacizing. Love the early bird specials. Love the golf carts and the weird outfits while out on the course. Love it, love it, love it.
>> New York may not feel like summer yet, but it certainly smells like summer. If you haven't smelled NYC in the summer time, imagine a barge filled with garbage (most probably NY's garbage) on a hot summer day.
>> People should not wear stretchy cotton/nylon pants in public. Most of the time, that loose kind of material gets bunched up the person's ass and you can't stop staring at it. My mind keeps thinking, don't they realize they have a couple of inches of material up their butt? And it is TOTALLY unprofessional at work.
>> Most of my dreams revolve around shopping. Usually I am at a mall and I lost something while shopping. Those are the most frustrating dreams. It's usually my jacket or my purse or even sometimes a person. I never actually lose any of those things in real life. Actually, I don't shop much anymore. Maybe this is why I am having MORE shopping dreams than usual. What's interesting is recently JK Rowling was in my dream. She was being interviewed in a cafe and I saw her in the window. That was it. Exciting, huh? I also dreamed that I ran into my friend Gobi with her child and her husband who was this giant preppy guy -- sort of like Superman. Oddly mundane, don't you think?
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MY BROTHER, MIKE
HAPPY RECOVERY, MARTHA L
THANKS FOR THE IKEA-ING, BOB AND RUSSELL
WELCOME BACK, LISA D
KEEP ON SWIMMING, DR. CYNTHIA
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU FIEDLER (oh and you too, ANN AND DABNEY)
+======================+
Printed from www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 15, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+======================+
I have been VERY remiss with my reporting. So quickly:
>> Went to Clermont, FL, and spent time with the folks. Learned that I am really an 80 year old trapped in a 33 year old's body. Love walking up at the crack of dawn. Love aquacizing. Love the early bird specials. Love the golf carts and the weird outfits while out on the course. Love it, love it, love it.
>> New York may not feel like summer yet, but it certainly smells like summer. If you haven't smelled NYC in the summer time, imagine a barge filled with garbage (most probably NY's garbage) on a hot summer day.
>> People should not wear stretchy cotton/nylon pants in public. Most of the time, that loose kind of material gets bunched up the person's ass and you can't stop staring at it. My mind keeps thinking, don't they realize they have a couple of inches of material up their butt? And it is TOTALLY unprofessional at work.
>> Most of my dreams revolve around shopping. Usually I am at a mall and I lost something while shopping. Those are the most frustrating dreams. It's usually my jacket or my purse or even sometimes a person. I never actually lose any of those things in real life. Actually, I don't shop much anymore. Maybe this is why I am having MORE shopping dreams than usual. What's interesting is recently JK Rowling was in my dream. She was being interviewed in a cafe and I saw her in the window. That was it. Exciting, huh? I also dreamed that I ran into my friend Gobi with her child and her husband who was this giant preppy guy -- sort of like Superman. Oddly mundane, don't you think?
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MY BROTHER, MIKE
HAPPY RECOVERY, MARTHA L
THANKS FOR THE IKEA-ING, BOB AND RUSSELL
WELCOME BACK, LISA D
KEEP ON SWIMMING, DR. CYNTHIA
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU FIEDLER (oh and you too, ANN AND DABNEY)
+======================+
Printed from www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 15, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, June 1, 2006
The box of seafood fun!
I am in FL with my parents this week and to celebrate Memorial Day weekend, I ordered lobsters and fish chowder from Legal Seafood. I have ordered other lobsters online but I think the quality of the lobsters from Legal are better. Here is the box. Scroll down for the narrative.
Lobster - Memorial Day Weekend 2006
This is the seaweed that the lobsters were packed in. My parents kept looking at it and saying, "We could eat that." As Koreans, seaweed is edible in almost all forms. However, I expressed my dismay at eating packing materials.
Lobster - Memorial Day Weekend 2006
Fish chowder -- can't beat Legal's fish chowder. Well, I am sure someone can, but in terms of mail order food, Legal's fish chowder is up there!
Lobster - Memorial Day Weekend 2006
The table is set. Lobsters, butter, kimchee. What else do you need?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
From the cr'kberry
We might be remote!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Deleted disclosure text from job]
Looking for some old lady house slippers... (5-24-06)
Beans should come with warning labels.
+======================+
T-Shirts with Quotes Are Getting Annoying:
Guy in t-shirt that said: HALF MAN, HALF HORSE
Guy in t-shirt that said: Tennis players have FUZZY BALLS
+======================+
THIS IS WHY I LOVE MY CRACKBERRY:
5/18/2006 @ 9:11 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
SUBJ: OMG
I am sitting on this acela and HENRY KISSINGER is sitting across from me!!!!!!!!!!!
And if you arer wondering, I am in first class - train was sold out.
Damn, I wish I had my sharpie - I would get him to sign my blackberry!
05/18/2006 09:15 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
And he really talks like that!!!!!!!
05/18/2006 09:44 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
Seriously - and he is a loud talker. You could hear his deep voice pretty much all over the car. I guess if you are HK you might as well tallk as loud as you want.
+======================+
I really wish I took a picture of me and Henry Kissinger. But I didn't want to bother him. I mean, the man is 83. However, I guess staring at him for an hour is about as intrusive as getting a photograph or signature.
+=================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DR. CYNTHIA SINHA
Good to see you for 10 hours, MICHELLE ERTISCHEK
Hope your tongue feels better, RENEE ERTISCHEK
Wonderful seeing you for dinner, DIANE FRAKE
Welcome back, ANN MANUBAY AND DABNEY FRAKE
Super seeing you for dinner, RUSSELL FROST
Congrats on passing your test, DR. MIKE
Glad you feel better, GRAHAM PARK
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 25, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+======================+
T-Shirts with Quotes Are Getting Annoying:
Guy in t-shirt that said: HALF MAN, HALF HORSE
Guy in t-shirt that said: Tennis players have FUZZY BALLS
+======================+
THIS IS WHY I LOVE MY CRACKBERRY:
5/18/2006 @ 9:11 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
SUBJ: OMG
I am sitting on this acela and HENRY KISSINGER is sitting across from me!!!!!!!!!!!
And if you arer wondering, I am in first class - train was sold out.
Damn, I wish I had my sharpie - I would get him to sign my blackberry!
05/18/2006 09:15 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
And he really talks like that!!!!!!!
05/18/2006 09:44 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
Seriously - and he is a loud talker. You could hear his deep voice pretty much all over the car. I guess if you are HK you might as well tallk as loud as you want.
+======================+
I really wish I took a picture of me and Henry Kissinger. But I didn't want to bother him. I mean, the man is 83. However, I guess staring at him for an hour is about as intrusive as getting a photograph or signature.
+=================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DR. CYNTHIA SINHA
Good to see you for 10 hours, MICHELLE ERTISCHEK
Hope your tongue feels better, RENEE ERTISCHEK
Wonderful seeing you for dinner, DIANE FRAKE
Welcome back, ANN MANUBAY AND DABNEY FRAKE
Super seeing you for dinner, RUSSELL FROST
Congrats on passing your test, DR. MIKE
Glad you feel better, GRAHAM PARK
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 25, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Tom the Cat
These are the many faces of Tom the Cat. This cat is the most incredible cat in the world. I don't think he is real. Got this from Stuff on My Cat (http://stuffonmycat.com/index.php?itemid=1370).
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I heart words
I really do love words. And this German word is perfect: kummerspeck. It literally translates as grief bacon. The actual definition is the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4248494.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4248494.stm
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Baby Suit
Man, people are brilliant. http://www.gildlilies.com/pop_ups/phillip_toledano_kaleidoscope.htm
Yes, I used a splatter screen...
Ah, my helpful friends. Per my post below, I did use a splatter screen while cooking bacon. But somehow the grease still got through the screen and hit my eye. My helpful friend Cassie, however, sent me a link to these splatter screens, which she recommends. Thanks, Cassie :) but I think I will stick to getting someone else to cook the bacon for me.
institutional coffee SUX (5-17-06)
All of you should know by now that I am a star whore and have a subscription to People magazine. However, I stopped paying the real prices and bought a subscription to it online via e-bay (Thanks for the tip, Annie!). Much cheaper. So this week, I am going to update you on all of the star news that I think is important.
+====================+
According to BET:
WHITNEY ON THE LOOSE
The tabloids are claiming that WHITNEY HOUSTON is on the loose. The rumor is that HOUSTON ran away from rehab in the middle of the night after having had enough. Ironically, they say all HOUSTON did was chain smoke Newport cigarettes, relaxed a lot and denied being an addict. WHITNEY was rumored to have checked herself into a hotel in Newport Beach, Calif. WHITNEY, go back to rehab girl!
And I totally agree. GO BACK TO REHAB, GIRL!
http://www.bet.com/Music/LOOSE+LIPS+10.htm?Referrer=%7B140E87E8-DD65-42E4-91FD-F8D7225C7C54%7D
+====================+
PAUL MCCARTNEY and wife split!
As if we didn't see this one coming. As I told my friend Annie, she has a chance with PAUL now, but HEATHER, PAUL's soon-to-be ex-wife, didn't sign a prenup -- so PAUL may potentially have only $1.125 billion instead of $1.5 billion. Annie, I hope you can live with a poorer PAUL.
+====================+
NICOLE KIDMAN and KEITH URBAN (who?) are engaged!
Well double DUH. The girl has been wearing the largest diamond rings on her left hand for months now.
+====================+
And now for some local news:
While cooking some bacon this weekend, bacon grease sputtered through the splatter screen and landed in MICHELLE PARK's right eye. It was only a small amount of grease, but enough to cause a lot of blinking. After calling her friend DR. SANDY LEE, who resides in Los Angeles, CA, MICHELLE applied lots of eye ointment and drops. Luckily, MICHELLE is doing much better and takes this episode as a sign to always order bacon out, never cook it at home.
+====================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
My nephew GRAHAM, feel better!
Happy Belated Birthday to MIKE C.
JEN, JESS, ISSAC, PHILLIP, CARMELA: can't wait for the 4th!
ANNIE AND DABNEY: safe travels!
DR. SANDY, thanks for the eye advice!
GOBI -- S.P.O.C. -- send photos of CHILD!
+====================+
Check out your Free Will Astrology Horoscopes for week of May 18, 2006
By ROB BREZSNY
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Don't mess with my toot toot! (5-11-06)
Lessons learned this week:
+ Always repeatedly save your document while you are working on it. And remember to save in the correct folder that you can find later.
+ Just because there are lychees in the soju, it doesn't mean it is any less potent.
+ Water is your friend.
+ Transitioning from winter feet to summer Hobbit feet is a painful, yet worthy process.
+ Sometimes culture is boring.
+ I can work two months straight without a vacation day; but it just isn't worth it.
+ You can watch too much "The Dog Whisperer." And it's always the human's fault. ALWAYS.
+ David Blaine is a freak. (And yes, I took a photo of me and him while he was in the bubble)
+ Take Beano when you plan to eat beans. (this one needs to be tattooed on my hand so that I can always see it)
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen Brown!
Sun Ae, Mike, Simone, Katherine, Sasha -- we must do it again!
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
+===========================+
If you didn't get a chance to see it, here is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Press Club Dinner. HILARIOUS!
+===========================+
Printed from
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 11, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+ Always repeatedly save your document while you are working on it. And remember to save in the correct folder that you can find later.
+ Just because there are lychees in the soju, it doesn't mean it is any less potent.
+ Water is your friend.
+ Transitioning from winter feet to summer Hobbit feet is a painful, yet worthy process.
+ Sometimes culture is boring.
+ I can work two months straight without a vacation day; but it just isn't worth it.
+ You can watch too much "The Dog Whisperer." And it's always the human's fault. ALWAYS.
+ David Blaine is a freak. (And yes, I took a photo of me and him while he was in the bubble)
+ Take Beano when you plan to eat beans. (this one needs to be tattooed on my hand so that I can always see it)
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen Brown!
Sun Ae, Mike, Simone, Katherine, Sasha -- we must do it again!
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
+===========================+
If you didn't get a chance to see it, here is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Press Club Dinner. HILARIOUS!
+===========================+
Printed from
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 11, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, May 4, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I can't stand David Copperfield
David Copperfield Robbed at Gunpoint, says People magazine.
He says that he used sleight of hand to show the robbers that he had nothing in his pockets, when in actuality, he DID. TA DA!
Doesn't this story sound like a set up?
He says that he used sleight of hand to show the robbers that he had nothing in his pockets, when in actuality, he DID. TA DA!
Doesn't this story sound like a set up?
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
THIS is why online dating is a special, special thing...
Actual quote from a Nerve.com profile:
"Women are starting to bore me so I figured I'd give some women on this website a shot. Im quite a catch and spend my spare time stripping in the evenings."
"Women are starting to bore me so I figured I'd give some women on this website a shot. Im quite a catch and spend my spare time stripping in the evenings."
Sunday, April 23, 2006
recent itunes purchases
I think I am officially stuck in the 80s/early 90s.
Q0002 How Bizarre $0.99
Q0002 Sister Christian $0.99
Q0002 All Out of Love $0.99
Q0002 The One That You Love $0.99
Q0002 Even the Nights Are Better $0.99
Q0002 She Drives Me Crazy $0.99
Q0002 In a Big Country $0.99
Q0002 How Bizarre $0.99
Q0002 Sister Christian $0.99
Q0002 All Out of Love $0.99
Q0002 The One That You Love $0.99
Q0002 Even the Nights Are Better $0.99
Q0002 She Drives Me Crazy $0.99
Q0002 In a Big Country $0.99
Friday, April 21, 2006
What's new, pussycat? WOoOooOOAOOooAOOo! (4-21-06)
My friend Frun-Ae (name disguised to protect the not at all innocent) sent me this great site: OverheardintheOffice.com
My favorite so far:
12PM Lunch
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That's so black of you.
1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
+========================+
I wish they would hurry up with the regenerated body parts because I need a new neck and some back parts.
+========================+
check out my blog http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Sasha
The Marthas and Ky and all the good women in the Book Club
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSSELL!
+========================+
Printed from Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of April 20, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
My favorite so far:
12PM Lunch
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That's so black of you.
1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
+========================+
I wish they would hurry up with the regenerated body parts because I need a new neck and some back parts.
+========================+
check out my blog http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Sasha
The Marthas and Ky and all the good women in the Book Club
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSSELL!
+========================+
Printed from Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of April 20, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Dog Steals Sandwich; film at 11
God, I can't get enough of Cuteoverload.com! This photo is from that site. Look at this dog! Just look!!!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
It's only when I turn my head this way that it hurts... (4-12-06)
My friend Lori Wong is the coolest person I know. She is an art conservator for the Getty Institute out in LA (in trade for the beautiful weather, they punish you with the driving) and has worked on the Mogao Grottoes, a World Heritage Site on the Silk Road. The Grottoes are located near the ancient town of Dunhuang in northwestern China. According to the Web site: "Dating from the fourth to the fourteenth centuries, the ancient Buddhist site contains 492 decorated caves temples excavated into 1.6 kilometers of cliff face. The site includes some 45,000 square meters of wall paintings and over 2,400 polychromed sculptures comprising the largest body of Buddhist art in China."
And Lori has been working on this conservation project!!!! How cool is that????!!!!
So check out the video on the GCI's project at the Mogao Grottoes.
+=================================+
My friends Dave and Matt have a podcast called, The Dave and Matt Show. In Episode 7, they mentioned me and a comment I made about Episode 6. And I have no comment to make about my alleged couch sniffing problem. Check out their Web site.
+=================================+
Check out my blog: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/
+=================================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Yvette
Sandy
Sasha, Beth and Tasha
Alex
The Marthas and Martha's mom
+=================================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of April 13, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
And Lori has been working on this conservation project!!!! How cool is that????!!!!
So check out the video on the GCI's project at the Mogao Grottoes.
+=================================+
My friends Dave and Matt have a podcast called, The Dave and Matt Show. In Episode 7, they mentioned me and a comment I made about Episode 6. And I have no comment to make about my alleged couch sniffing problem. Check out their Web site.
+=================================+
Check out my blog: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/
+=================================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Yvette
Sandy
Sasha, Beth and Tasha
Alex
The Marthas and Martha's mom
+=================================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of April 13, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Saturday, April 1, 2006
All the leaves aren't brown and the sky isn't grey...
I know Spring is near because I actually want to see my friends and go outside.
I also want to drinks PIMMS [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimms]. That's a sure sign that warm weather is coming...
I also want to drinks PIMMS [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimms]. That's a sure sign that warm weather is coming...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
She loves to move, she loves to groove, she loves the lovin' things! (3-29-06)
I am admitting it to all the world. I quit smoking today, March 29, 2006. Now I know what most of you are thinking -- you started smoking again???? I thought you quit!!! Yes, I did quit in March/April of last year. And I was on the wagon for a while. It was nice being on the wagon. Great view, good breeze. And then I fell off again. But now I am back on the wagon.
My head is REALLLLLLY fuzzy. I had to warn some people at work that my muddleheadedness is due to nicotine withdrawal. My head feels like it is filled with cotton balls and I could probably dig around my ears and pull some out for you. Actually, it feels like being high without the fun parts.
Most people have been very supportive, but with a twinge of disbelief. Even though everyone wants to believe that I have quit, they know they won't bet money on it. Well, I can tell you right now to bet money on it. As my friend Jen B says, that door is CLOSED.
REALLY.
The one good thing about quit day though is I am allowing myself to eat whatever the hell I want. It's been great. I had an onion bagel with cream cheese, a powdered donut (work gave us a donut break this morning; Entenmenn's donuts -- which aren't doughnuts. They are DONUTS http://entenmanns.gwbakeries.com/product.cfm/upc/7203001451), rice balls {http://www.riceball-omsb.com/} [YES, Lisa D, I had rice balls for lunch], a hot dog and some Indian food.
I feel sort of gross.
But I feel good.
+================+
Check out my more frequest musings at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/
+================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Chelsea, Lauren McDude's little leaning pile of doggie, goodbye
+================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 30, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Check out your weekly horoscope at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
My head is REALLLLLLY fuzzy. I had to warn some people at work that my muddleheadedness is due to nicotine withdrawal. My head feels like it is filled with cotton balls and I could probably dig around my ears and pull some out for you. Actually, it feels like being high without the fun parts.
Most people have been very supportive, but with a twinge of disbelief. Even though everyone wants to believe that I have quit, they know they won't bet money on it. Well, I can tell you right now to bet money on it. As my friend Jen B says, that door is CLOSED.
REALLY.
The one good thing about quit day though is I am allowing myself to eat whatever the hell I want. It's been great. I had an onion bagel with cream cheese, a powdered donut (work gave us a donut break this morning; Entenmenn's donuts -- which aren't doughnuts. They are DONUTS http://entenmanns.gwbakeries.com/product.cfm/upc/7203001451), rice balls {http://www.riceball-omsb.com/} [YES, Lisa D, I had rice balls for lunch], a hot dog and some Indian food.
I feel sort of gross.
But I feel good.
+================+
Check out my more frequest musings at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/
+================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Chelsea, Lauren McDude's little leaning pile of doggie, goodbye
+================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 30, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Check out your weekly horoscope at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
NAMASTE!
I would like to officially record that I went to a 6:45 AM yoga class this morning and I saluted the sun and the moon and the stars with my ass. It was quite amazing that I willed myself out of bed and into that room. It's a good feeling overall but I know it will hit me around 3 today.
Also to note, I am craving Captain Crunch cereal.
Also to note, I am craving Captain Crunch cereal.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Ooooh that smell! Can't you smell that smell? (3/23/06)
There is this one area of the subway station in Grand Central. It's near the entrance underneath the Strawberry's, close to the escalator to the 7 train. On good days, it smells like that veiny, funghi-looking bleu cheese. On the bad days, well, it sure doesn't smell like bleu cheese. There have been days where that area near the elevator/escalator doesn't smell like anything, but I can count those days on one hand. And I have all of my fingers.
I strongly urge you to visit this area of the subway and tell me if you agree. I want to share this with you.
+==================+
I am tired of being competent. I got assigned to another account. That makes two accounts and a new business pitch. I wish I could be lazy and useless. I miss those days.
+==================+
I slept for 12 hours straight yesterday. It was so fantastic. I got into bed at 6, fluffy duvet, flannel pajamas, so happy. I slept pretty much straight through. It was perfect. Even when I woke up, I went back to sleep. At 6, I thought about getting up, but I didn't.
+==================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
My bed
+==================+
Check out your horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 23, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
I strongly urge you to visit this area of the subway and tell me if you agree. I want to share this with you.
+==================+
I am tired of being competent. I got assigned to another account. That makes two accounts and a new business pitch. I wish I could be lazy and useless. I miss those days.
+==================+
I slept for 12 hours straight yesterday. It was so fantastic. I got into bed at 6, fluffy duvet, flannel pajamas, so happy. I slept pretty much straight through. It was perfect. Even when I woke up, I went back to sleep. At 6, I thought about getting up, but I didn't.
+==================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
My bed
+==================+
Check out your horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 23, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Monday, March 20, 2006
MEME -- YOU'RE IT!
>How well do you know me? For instance, did you know...
>
>Four jobs I've had in my life:
>1.Sales assistant at TALBOT's (I had a crew cut at the time)
>2.medical secretary
>3.financial administration at an international non profit
>4.teacher assistant at 1199 (health care workers' union)
>
>
>Four movies I would watch over and over:
>1. The Incredibles
>2. Secretary
>3. Men In Black
>4. Men in Black II
>
>Four places I have lived:
>1. Jacksonville, FL
>2. Wellesley, MA
>3. Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY
>4. Midtown West, Manhattan, NY
>
>Four TV shows I love to watch:
>1. Oprah
>2. Medium
>3. CSI
>4. Gilmore Girls
>
>
>Four places I have been on vacation:
>1. Paris
>2. St. Maarten
>3. Vermont
>4. St. Petersburg, FL
>
>Four websites I visit daily:
>1. Cuteoverload.com
>2. NY Times
>3. GoFugYourself.com
>4. NOAA weather
>
>Four of my favorite foods:
>1. Thai
>2. spaghetti and meatballs
>3. Korean
>4. Indian
>
>Four places I would rather be right now:
>1. The lottery office picking up my mega millions winnings!
>2. A secluded beach in the carribean
>3. Sleeping
>4. In my "La-Z-Girl" chair watching TV
>
>Four friends who I have tagged that I think will respond:
>1. Only my real friends will answer
>
>Four jobs I've had in my life:
>1.Sales assistant at TALBOT's (I had a crew cut at the time)
>2.medical secretary
>3.financial administration at an international non profit
>4.teacher assistant at 1199 (health care workers' union)
>
>
>Four movies I would watch over and over:
>1. The Incredibles
>2. Secretary
>3. Men In Black
>4. Men in Black II
>
>Four places I have lived:
>1. Jacksonville, FL
>2. Wellesley, MA
>3. Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY
>4. Midtown West, Manhattan, NY
>
>Four TV shows I love to watch:
>1. Oprah
>2. Medium
>3. CSI
>4. Gilmore Girls
>
>
>Four places I have been on vacation:
>1. Paris
>2. St. Maarten
>3. Vermont
>4. St. Petersburg, FL
>
>Four websites I visit daily:
>1. Cuteoverload.com
>2. NY Times
>3. GoFugYourself.com
>4. NOAA weather
>
>Four of my favorite foods:
>1. Thai
>2. spaghetti and meatballs
>3. Korean
>4. Indian
>
>Four places I would rather be right now:
>1. The lottery office picking up my mega millions winnings!
>2. A secluded beach in the carribean
>3. Sleeping
>4. In my "La-Z-Girl" chair watching TV
>
>Four friends who I have tagged that I think will respond:
>1. Only my real friends will answer
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
One Jewish, One Asian and Two Black Women walk into Peter Luger's... (3-18-06)
I went to Peter Luger's [http://www.peterluger.com/] today with my friends Johnna, Yvette and Linda, and MAN, they serve some damn good meat. Tender, flavorful, just so good. It was a meat orgy: steaks, burger, shrimp AND Canadian bacon. It was so much food that six hours later and, to me, the idea of food is quite sickening. I think I even have a meat
hangover. Although, I might just have a bourbon hangover. Or a shrimp cocktail hangover. Or a cheesecake hangover.
+================+
The REAL Truth About Women
Women have many hidden secrets. We are an illusive group. But I am opening the secrets to our world to you men now so that you can understand what we as a group go through to assimilate in today's society. Following are a few facts that you, as men, just never knew:
Fact #241: Bras have always given women shape -- from bulleted to inflated. The real truth however is that women's breasts are like flat, unfilled balloons that generally are 4 to 5 feet in length. We roll them up like a pair of socks to fit into the bra. We also use our breasts to carry our change and fly.
Fact #32: Women's leg hair is retractable. Similar to a cat's claw, we can lengthen and shorten our leg hair depending on any situation. If we like you, we will fully retract our leg hair. If we don't like you, we will fully extend our leg hair. For some women, this is vice versa. Our underarm hair is also retractable.
Fact #665: Women buy four to five times as many body/hair/skin products as men because we eat these products for nutritional purposes. The aloe and chamomile extracts provide us with the necessary vitamins to teeter in high heels for 16 miles straight, calculate the volume of a revolving rhombus in a tank of sea water, and travel through L-space.
+================+
My friend Matt and his friend Dave have their own podcast called "The Matt & Dave Show." You can either subscribe to it in iTunes (podcast search keyword: dave & matt show) or go to www.daveandmattshow.com. You can subscribe to the podcast right from the show page.
As Matt says:
"The show is the same type of humor you'd hear when we were all in college, but now we're actually online with it. It's been really fun. Let us know what you think at feedback@daveandmattshow.com. If you really like it -- or even if you don't -- please vote for our show on www.podcastalley.com. Do a search on our show ("Dave & Matt Show"), and then vote for it. It'll make a difference."
So, check them out!
+================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Yvette, Johnna and Linda, Two words: MEAT ORGY
Carey, Steven and Alex
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
+================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at: http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
hangover. Although, I might just have a bourbon hangover. Or a shrimp cocktail hangover. Or a cheesecake hangover.
+================+
The REAL Truth About Women
Women have many hidden secrets. We are an illusive group. But I am opening the secrets to our world to you men now so that you can understand what we as a group go through to assimilate in today's society. Following are a few facts that you, as men, just never knew:
Fact #241: Bras have always given women shape -- from bulleted to inflated. The real truth however is that women's breasts are like flat, unfilled balloons that generally are 4 to 5 feet in length. We roll them up like a pair of socks to fit into the bra. We also use our breasts to carry our change and fly.
Fact #32: Women's leg hair is retractable. Similar to a cat's claw, we can lengthen and shorten our leg hair depending on any situation. If we like you, we will fully retract our leg hair. If we don't like you, we will fully extend our leg hair. For some women, this is vice versa. Our underarm hair is also retractable.
Fact #665: Women buy four to five times as many body/hair/skin products as men because we eat these products for nutritional purposes. The aloe and chamomile extracts provide us with the necessary vitamins to teeter in high heels for 16 miles straight, calculate the volume of a revolving rhombus in a tank of sea water, and travel through L-space.
+================+
My friend Matt and his friend Dave have their own podcast called "The Matt & Dave Show." You can either subscribe to it in iTunes (podcast search keyword: dave & matt show) or go to www.daveandmattshow.com. You can subscribe to the podcast right from the show page.
As Matt says:
"The show is the same type of humor you'd hear when we were all in college, but now we're actually online with it. It's been really fun. Let us know what you think at feedback@daveandmattshow.com. If you really like it -- or even if you don't -- please vote for our show on www.podcastalley.com. Do a search on our show ("Dave & Matt Show"), and then vote for it. It'll make a difference."
So, check them out!
+================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Yvette, Johnna and Linda, Two words: MEAT ORGY
Carey, Steven and Alex
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
+================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at: http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Monday, March 6, 2006
Frynn!
This is my friend Frynn* and her pal Frio* - they are on a helicopter flying over some place with palm trees and lots of sand. Lots of sand. I mean a lot of sand.
*Names have been changed to protect their identities.
VACCINES ARE SAFE, DAMMIT
I feel really strongly about vaccines. This is not just because I work in the industry, but because vaccines have prevented millions of deaths in the world. We think that polio, measles, mumps, etc., are no longer a threat in the U.S., but it's because so many people around us are vaccinated that we are protecting others from getting these diseases. If we do not immunize, then the threat of these diseases returning will grow many-fold.
There are so many people I know who are on the fence about vaccines, but let me tell you: there is nothing to be on the fence about (yes, ending in preposition, but I can't help it). Vaccines prevent disease. Yes, there used to be thimerosal (a preservative used to keep vaccines bacteria and fungus free, which contains some ethylmercury) in vaccines, but today, almost all vaccines are thimerosal free -- only certain flu vaccines have thimerosal and you can ask for a thimerosal free version when getting vaccinated.
So what is this debate about vaccine safety? There is no debate. Vaccines are safe!
Here's an op-ed from a small town paper in Kearney, NE, which explains this a little more clearly:
03/04/2006
Vaccines can be both fresh, safe
Kearney Hub
A letter to the Letterbox on Feb. 25 prompted me to write concerning the safety of childhood vaccines. The issue raised in the Feb. 25 letter is the use of the preservative Thimerosal in vaccines. Preservatives keep vaccines pure from bacterial and fungal growth.
Thimerosal, which contains ethylmercury, was used at one time in some childhood vaccines. Concerns were raised in the late-1990s that ethylmercury could have some of the neurotoxic properties of its cousin, methylmercury. However, studies done by the Immunization Safety Review Committee of the Institute of Medicine in the United States, Denmark, Sweden and the United Kingdom failed to show any connection between Thimerosal exposure and the neurodevelopmental disorders of autism, ADHD and speech or language delay.
The committee did recommend reducing the Thimerosal in vaccines to trace amounts because of theoretical risk, and to keep public trust in vaccines. Since 2001, all vaccines for children are either entirely free of Thimerosal (most) or contain only trace amounts (two).
Vaccines are strong protectors of our children. In the early years of my practice, it was common to see five to 10 cases of meningitis per month, due to Haemophilus Influenza Type B or Pneumococcus. These infections would often result in death or brain injury for the patient, and devastation for the families.
Since the advent of routine immunization with the HIB vaccine (1983) and Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (2000), these horrible diseases are almost wiped out.
As responsible parents and medical caregivers, it is important to know the facts. Physicians’ offices that care for children have excellent handouts on all vaccines. Also, there are two reliable Web sites, which give very good information, including the exact content of all vaccines. These Web sites are www.cdc.gov and www.immunize.org.
Be smart. Know the facts. Immunize your children.
Katherine A. Keifer, M.D.Kearney Clinic P.C.
http://www.kearneyhub.com/site/printerFriendly.cfm?brd=268&dept_id=551080&newsid=16240235
There are so many people I know who are on the fence about vaccines, but let me tell you: there is nothing to be on the fence about (yes, ending in preposition, but I can't help it). Vaccines prevent disease. Yes, there used to be thimerosal (a preservative used to keep vaccines bacteria and fungus free, which contains some ethylmercury) in vaccines, but today, almost all vaccines are thimerosal free -- only certain flu vaccines have thimerosal and you can ask for a thimerosal free version when getting vaccinated.
So what is this debate about vaccine safety? There is no debate. Vaccines are safe!
Here's an op-ed from a small town paper in Kearney, NE, which explains this a little more clearly:
03/04/2006
Vaccines can be both fresh, safe
Kearney Hub
A letter to the Letterbox on Feb. 25 prompted me to write concerning the safety of childhood vaccines. The issue raised in the Feb. 25 letter is the use of the preservative Thimerosal in vaccines. Preservatives keep vaccines pure from bacterial and fungal growth.
Thimerosal, which contains ethylmercury, was used at one time in some childhood vaccines. Concerns were raised in the late-1990s that ethylmercury could have some of the neurotoxic properties of its cousin, methylmercury. However, studies done by the Immunization Safety Review Committee of the Institute of Medicine in the United States, Denmark, Sweden and the United Kingdom failed to show any connection between Thimerosal exposure and the neurodevelopmental disorders of autism, ADHD and speech or language delay.
The committee did recommend reducing the Thimerosal in vaccines to trace amounts because of theoretical risk, and to keep public trust in vaccines. Since 2001, all vaccines for children are either entirely free of Thimerosal (most) or contain only trace amounts (two).
Vaccines are strong protectors of our children. In the early years of my practice, it was common to see five to 10 cases of meningitis per month, due to Haemophilus Influenza Type B or Pneumococcus. These infections would often result in death or brain injury for the patient, and devastation for the families.
Since the advent of routine immunization with the HIB vaccine (1983) and Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (2000), these horrible diseases are almost wiped out.
As responsible parents and medical caregivers, it is important to know the facts. Physicians’ offices that care for children have excellent handouts on all vaccines. Also, there are two reliable Web sites, which give very good information, including the exact content of all vaccines. These Web sites are www.cdc.gov and www.immunize.org.
Be smart. Know the facts. Immunize your children.
Katherine A. Keifer, M.D.Kearney Clinic P.C.
http://www.kearneyhub.com/site/printerFriendly.cfm?brd=268&dept_id=551080&newsid=16240235
Dead Skin Dress
What was Naomi Watts thinking? She looks like she is wearing a dress of dead skin! My friend Annie said she needed a good sloughing. I agree.
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the bluuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeessssss.... (3/1/06)
The day of reckoning has cometh. Leggings are back. http://nymag.com/fashion/features/16015/index.html
+========================+
I am not girly. I know that most of you know that, but I have these moments of clarity and they are usually ridiculously obvious. At 7:45 AM, I was in a carload of co-workers, all of whom were women (I work in PR -- it's a female dominated sphere. This is because women communicate.) and everyone was dressed up to go to our client meeting, which was 2 hours away. The one thing I noticed during the car ride was that everyone was poised and feminine -- legs crossed, making small talk. What was Michelle doing? Slumped in her chair, sleeping with her mouth open. And no, I wasn't drooling.
But you know what? I am okay with this. I got a really good nap and they didn't.
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
WELCOME TO THE WORLD, CATRIONA! (And congratulations to proud parents Mija and Kevin, much love)
CONGRATULATIONS TO DR. CYNTHA; Jacksonville welcomes you with open arms!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MARTHA L; You're working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living!
+========================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 2, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Printed from http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
+========================+
I am not girly. I know that most of you know that, but I have these moments of clarity and they are usually ridiculously obvious. At 7:45 AM, I was in a carload of co-workers, all of whom were women (I work in PR -- it's a female dominated sphere. This is because women communicate.) and everyone was dressed up to go to our client meeting, which was 2 hours away. The one thing I noticed during the car ride was that everyone was poised and feminine -- legs crossed, making small talk. What was Michelle doing? Slumped in her chair, sleeping with her mouth open. And no, I wasn't drooling.
But you know what? I am okay with this. I got a really good nap and they didn't.
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
WELCOME TO THE WORLD, CATRIONA! (And congratulations to proud parents Mija and Kevin, much love)
CONGRATULATIONS TO DR. CYNTHA; Jacksonville welcomes you with open arms!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MARTHA L; You're working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living!
+========================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 2, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Printed from http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Thursday, February 16, 2006
He sneezes like a horse (2-16-06)
I was in the elevator this morning with this one guy. Just the two of
us. All quiet. And then he had to sneeze. Like a horse. Now, YOU
know my problems with germs. Being encased in a small box with
another human being is more than enough to make me bring out the
antibacterials wipes, but MAN -- a SNEEZE?!!! How am I supposed to
protect myself against that? AND he didn't cover his mouth. He used
his Blackberry to cover the sneeze. AS IF that will stop the germs
from ricocheting off the walls. After he sneezed, I held my breathe
to keep the germs entering my body. It was only a couple of floors
before freedom so I was alright.
+=============================+
I have been blogging more.
+=============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
BOB AND RUSSELL
CONGRATULATIONS TO CATHY, ERIK AND SAMUEL (a very cute little boy)
MIKE, JEN AND GRAHAM
GLAD YOU MADE IT SAFELY TO [LAND OF SAND AND OTHER INTERESTING
THINGS], FRYNN (name has been changed to protect the person's
identity)
+=============================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of February 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
us. All quiet. And then he had to sneeze. Like a horse. Now, YOU
know my problems with germs. Being encased in a small box with
another human being is more than enough to make me bring out the
antibacterials wipes, but MAN -- a SNEEZE?!!! How am I supposed to
protect myself against that? AND he didn't cover his mouth. He used
his Blackberry to cover the sneeze. AS IF that will stop the germs
from ricocheting off the walls. After he sneezed, I held my breathe
to keep the germs entering my body. It was only a couple of floors
before freedom so I was alright.
+=============================+
I have been blogging more.
+=============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
BOB AND RUSSELL
CONGRATULATIONS TO CATHY, ERIK AND SAMUEL (a very cute little boy)
MIKE, JEN AND GRAHAM
GLAD YOU MADE IT SAFELY TO [LAND OF SAND AND OTHER INTERESTING
THINGS], FRYNN (name has been changed to protect the person's
identity)
+=============================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of February 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
As tiny as a little hamster....
From my friend FREVEN - he feeds my hamster obsession... Bad Freven, Bad.
http://news.com.com/2300-1010_3-6031405-8.html?tag=ne.gall.pg
"When hamsters compute. This is someone's house pet posed with a Hitachi microdrive. The drives, with 1-inch diameter platters, were invented in 1999 by IBM, but didn't find a mass market until the arrival of iPod Minis. It is unclear whether gerbils or guinea pigs can actually take advantage of the technology."
Credit: Hitachi Global Storage Technologies
http://news.com.com/2300-1010_3-6031405-8.html?tag=ne.gall.pg
"When hamsters compute. This is someone's house pet posed with a Hitachi microdrive. The drives, with 1-inch diameter platters, were invented in 1999 by IBM, but didn't find a mass market until the arrival of iPod Minis. It is unclear whether gerbils or guinea pigs can actually take advantage of the technology."
Credit: Hitachi Global Storage Technologies
Monday, February 13, 2006
My nephew
I like to send my nephew holiday cards -- it's an easy way to send mail and a little present from his KOMO (that's Korean for aunt on the father's side). Another reason why I send him holiday cards and presents is he will actually talk on the phone after receiving a card/present from me. Yes, I am willing to sink to those depths to bribe my nephew to talk to me on the phone. I will go that low. And it's great fun to bribe him. This time, I sent him a snoopy card and shark tattoos (temporary). Yeah, I am that cool.
My mom sent my nephew/her grandson $3. I am sure she got a nice long phone conversation for that!
My mom sent my nephew/her grandson $3. I am sure she got a nice long phone conversation for that!
happy lunch
happy lunch
Originally uploaded by ilovermont.
From http://www.justinspace.com/lunch/happylunch01.html
This is indeed a crazy happy lunch. I would eat their shiny happy heads with relish!
Friday, February 3, 2006
I am a strong, independent Black woman (2/3/06)
My ex-roommate Sasha let me know that Mars and Venus have been in retrograde, making the recent weeks feel like a timewarp and not in a good way. However, the good news is that after today, February 3, the retrograde is over and we will be propelled into action. Thank goodness!
+====================+
I want to be sitting on a recliner on the beach of St. Martin, soaking in the sun with a cool drink in my hand.
+====================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Belated Congratulations to Greg, Sunita and Vijay (the newest member of the Vinton family)!
Congratulations to Lisa, Ed and Jake Nathaniel (a very new edition to the Doherty family)!
Happy Birthday to Ashbloem!
Congratulations on quitting the horrible, thankless job, Sandy!
Happy Birthday to Carey!
+====================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of February 2, 2006
+====================+
I want to be sitting on a recliner on the beach of St. Martin, soaking in the sun with a cool drink in my hand.
+====================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Belated Congratulations to Greg, Sunita and Vijay (the newest member of the Vinton family)!
Congratulations to Lisa, Ed and Jake Nathaniel (a very new edition to the Doherty family)!
Happy Birthday to Ashbloem!
Congratulations on quitting the horrible, thankless job, Sandy!
Happy Birthday to Carey!
+====================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of February 2, 2006
Thursday, February 2, 2006
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Slippery slope (1-26-06)
I know there are some of you who do this. I know it. And I know
there are some of you who secretly wish they could do this, but can't.
Personally, I find it really disgusting and don't understand it. I
just don't understand it at all.
People who carry their pillows with them while they travel -- why, why
do they do that? Don't they see the germ exposure! People who carry
their pillows are always sitting on them, folding them against the
public seats, dragging them on the floor.
EUW.
And the pillows are always stained, dirty, drooled on. Very...loved.
What I don't understand is why that dirty, stained pillow is so
necessary that it must be carried around on a trip. And why can't
they put a nice clean cover on it. Or at least put the pillow in a
plastic bag. Or even just leave the stinky stained thing at home.
I can understand the love of a good pillow. But please, people, try
not to carry the stinking bag of dust mites and skin flakes with you.
Or at least, refrain from swinging the pillow in my direction.
+===================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Mike, Jen and Graham
Ertischek
+===================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 26, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
there are some of you who secretly wish they could do this, but can't.
Personally, I find it really disgusting and don't understand it. I
just don't understand it at all.
People who carry their pillows with them while they travel -- why, why
do they do that? Don't they see the germ exposure! People who carry
their pillows are always sitting on them, folding them against the
public seats, dragging them on the floor.
EUW.
And the pillows are always stained, dirty, drooled on. Very...loved.
What I don't understand is why that dirty, stained pillow is so
necessary that it must be carried around on a trip. And why can't
they put a nice clean cover on it. Or at least put the pillow in a
plastic bag. Or even just leave the stinky stained thing at home.
I can understand the love of a good pillow. But please, people, try
not to carry the stinking bag of dust mites and skin flakes with you.
Or at least, refrain from swinging the pillow in my direction.
+===================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Mike, Jen and Graham
Ertischek
+===================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 26, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Once you get to the palm tree, turn left after the third camel on the right and THEN.... (1-13-06)
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT'S MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD LIBS
My friend L. lives in Washington, DC, and works for the U.S.
government in the Department of [CRAZY NOUN]. She can't discuss what
she does, but I do know she writes about [PLACES] and [PEOPLE]. She
has always wanted to tour war torned regions, which I think is
[EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] crazy, but I know that whatever she does she
will be successful at it. I just hope that she has [NOUN] to protect
her.
So, when she told me that she volunteer to go to [HOT, DUSTY, UNSAFE
COUNTRY], I said, "Wow, that's [EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] great!" My next
question was, "What are you going to do about the rest of the
television schedule?" My third questions was, "What will you be doing
in [PLACE WHERE THINGS, WHICH ARE USUALLY LOUD, EXPLOSIVE EVEN, HAPPEN
ON A DAILY BASIS]?"
She told me that she doesn't know. She is just going for [NUMBER] of
[PERIOD OF TIME] and she is not sure what she will be doing. To which
I replied, [EXPLETIVE THAT HARKENS FOUL AROMAS FROM LARGE LUMBERING
FARM ANIMAL]! You just can't say!
We went back and forth on this: No, really I don't know! You just
can't tell me! No, really, I don't know. COME ON! You know. Well,
you can see how this goes.
So, she continued by saying that the next [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME]
she will be in training classes to learn [NAME OF ACTIVITY] and for
the last [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME] she will be at [LOCATION THAT
HAS LOTS OF FENCES].
I am just amazed at L. That she can go to [THE COUNTRY WHERE WOMEN
WEAR LOTS OF BLACK] and do... well... something. Especially in
today's political climate. I am very proud of her. Now, I just hope
that she doesn't get [ACTION VERB] or [ANOTHER ACTION VERB], but I do
hope she gets to [ACTION VERB] or [NOT SO ACTION VERB]. And just that
she gets back safe.
So, BON VOYAGE AND SAFE TRAVELS, L.!
+=====================+
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! (Thank our international mule for the Baygon!
http://www.baygon.com/nqcontent.cfm?a_id=186)
+=====================+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 12, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
My friend L. lives in Washington, DC, and works for the U.S.
government in the Department of [CRAZY NOUN]. She can't discuss what
she does, but I do know she writes about [PLACES] and [PEOPLE]. She
has always wanted to tour war torned regions, which I think is
[EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] crazy, but I know that whatever she does she
will be successful at it. I just hope that she has [NOUN] to protect
her.
So, when she told me that she volunteer to go to [HOT, DUSTY, UNSAFE
COUNTRY], I said, "Wow, that's [EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] great!" My next
question was, "What are you going to do about the rest of the
television schedule?" My third questions was, "What will you be doing
in [PLACE WHERE THINGS, WHICH ARE USUALLY LOUD, EXPLOSIVE EVEN, HAPPEN
ON A DAILY BASIS]?"
She told me that she doesn't know. She is just going for [NUMBER] of
[PERIOD OF TIME] and she is not sure what she will be doing. To which
I replied, [EXPLETIVE THAT HARKENS FOUL AROMAS FROM LARGE LUMBERING
FARM ANIMAL]! You just can't say!
We went back and forth on this: No, really I don't know! You just
can't tell me! No, really, I don't know. COME ON! You know. Well,
you can see how this goes.
So, she continued by saying that the next [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME]
she will be in training classes to learn [NAME OF ACTIVITY] and for
the last [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME] she will be at [LOCATION THAT
HAS LOTS OF FENCES].
I am just amazed at L. That she can go to [THE COUNTRY WHERE WOMEN
WEAR LOTS OF BLACK] and do... well... something. Especially in
today's political climate. I am very proud of her. Now, I just hope
that she doesn't get [ACTION VERB] or [ANOTHER ACTION VERB], but I do
hope she gets to [ACTION VERB] or [NOT SO ACTION VERB]. And just that
she gets back safe.
So, BON VOYAGE AND SAFE TRAVELS, L.!
+=====================+
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! (Thank our international mule for the Baygon!
http://www.baygon.com/nqcontent.cfm?a_id=186)
+=====================+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 12, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (12-28-05)
I have been told by my boss lady that I have been sorely remiss with
my horoscope duties. So, here's to you, Lisa (plus one)!
+========================+
Chronicles of an MTA strike victim
Monday, 12/19, 11:30 PM
Instead of watching the news to see if the strike is on, I finished
watching "Futurama" on Cartoon Network. Love that show. Stupid FOX,
always cancelling the good shows (Futurama, Arrested Development) and
keeping the stupid ones (Stacked, Trading Spouses: Meet Your New
Mommy). I knew the strike was going to happen on Tuesday. I could
feel it in my bones.
DAY 1 OF THE STRIKE:
Tuesday, 12/20, 3 AM
Horrible nightmares.
Strike is on.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:30 AM
Listen to NPR and am afraid to turn on the tv. The media hysteria has
begun. Go back to sleep.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7:15 AM
Have to walk to work. Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9 AM
Leave the house, bundled up and wearing the sneakers. Am an hour
late, but so is the rest of the city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:05 AM
Everyone is cheery and smiling even though it's freezing cold and they
just walked here from Queens. Gotta love this city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:15 AM
Go to Duane Reade and buy stupid stuff.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:30 AM
Go to Starbucks and buy an apple cider. Realize that their cider is
just a cup of apple juice (from a gallon jug that is sold at the
grocery store for $3) that has been steamed. Cost: $2.50. RIPPED
OFF.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:45 AM
Buy an artery cloggin breakfast as I have walked 2 miles in the cold.
I feel I deserve a break today. Unfortunately, McDonald's is jam
packed with others who walked and felt they deserved a break too.
Went to the deli next door instead.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10 AM
Realize that it takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work by subway, 35
minutes if I walked without stopping, and 1 hour + by walking and
stopping and shopping.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10:15 AM -- 6:45 PM
Do the work of three people. However, just happy to be indoors after
that cold walk.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 PM -- 9 PM
The walk home is much longer than that walk to work because the stores
are open in the evening. Shopped my way home. Vow to not stop during
my walk tomorrow.
DAY 2 OF THE STRIKE
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:30 AM
There is still a strike. Another reason to sleep in some more.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9 AM
Start walk to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:15 AM
Ohhh, Sharper Image is open. Need to check on something.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:30 AM
Not what I wanted. Oh, Brookstone is open... no, have to get to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 10 AM - 6 PM
So busy!
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:10 PM
Line going out the door at Grand Central -- with no public
transportation, we have changed this uber modern city into a gulag.
It takes 3 hours to get to NYC by train from Brooklyn. Someone said
to me that they stood in line for 45 minutes just trying to get out of
the PATH station. What's next? Toilet paper rationing? God forbid.
Wednesday, 6:30 PM
I can't control myself....must...go...home --- screw it --Brookstone!
Wednesday, 9 PM
Damn holiday hours and stores. Back and feet hurt from the walking.
DAY 3 OF THE STRIKE
Thursday, 12/22, 6:30 AM
Dammit.
Thursday, 12/22, 9 AM
People aren't smiling anymore. I hear more grumbling and complaining
in the streets. Dragging my feet to work. Of course, stop by
Fourbucks for coffee. Oh, I need to get something at Duane Reade!
Thursday, 12/22, 10 AM - 3:59 PM
WORK
Thursday, 12/22, 4 PM
STRIKE OVER! Wait, I can't be elated just yet. It will take 10-12
hours for trains to run back on schedule and I have to go to 21st and
7th from 45th and Lex. CRAP.
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Mike, Jen and Graham
Bob and Russell
Lisa D
+========================+
Check out your horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 29, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
my horoscope duties. So, here's to you, Lisa (plus one)!
+========================+
Chronicles of an MTA strike victim
Monday, 12/19, 11:30 PM
Instead of watching the news to see if the strike is on, I finished
watching "Futurama" on Cartoon Network. Love that show. Stupid FOX,
always cancelling the good shows (Futurama, Arrested Development) and
keeping the stupid ones (Stacked, Trading Spouses: Meet Your New
Mommy). I knew the strike was going to happen on Tuesday. I could
feel it in my bones.
DAY 1 OF THE STRIKE:
Tuesday, 12/20, 3 AM
Horrible nightmares.
Strike is on.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:30 AM
Listen to NPR and am afraid to turn on the tv. The media hysteria has
begun. Go back to sleep.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7:15 AM
Have to walk to work. Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9 AM
Leave the house, bundled up and wearing the sneakers. Am an hour
late, but so is the rest of the city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:05 AM
Everyone is cheery and smiling even though it's freezing cold and they
just walked here from Queens. Gotta love this city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:15 AM
Go to Duane Reade and buy stupid stuff.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:30 AM
Go to Starbucks and buy an apple cider. Realize that their cider is
just a cup of apple juice (from a gallon jug that is sold at the
grocery store for $3) that has been steamed. Cost: $2.50. RIPPED
OFF.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:45 AM
Buy an artery cloggin breakfast as I have walked 2 miles in the cold.
I feel I deserve a break today. Unfortunately, McDonald's is jam
packed with others who walked and felt they deserved a break too.
Went to the deli next door instead.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10 AM
Realize that it takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work by subway, 35
minutes if I walked without stopping, and 1 hour + by walking and
stopping and shopping.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10:15 AM -- 6:45 PM
Do the work of three people. However, just happy to be indoors after
that cold walk.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 PM -- 9 PM
The walk home is much longer than that walk to work because the stores
are open in the evening. Shopped my way home. Vow to not stop during
my walk tomorrow.
DAY 2 OF THE STRIKE
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:30 AM
There is still a strike. Another reason to sleep in some more.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9 AM
Start walk to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:15 AM
Ohhh, Sharper Image is open. Need to check on something.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:30 AM
Not what I wanted. Oh, Brookstone is open... no, have to get to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 10 AM - 6 PM
So busy!
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:10 PM
Line going out the door at Grand Central -- with no public
transportation, we have changed this uber modern city into a gulag.
It takes 3 hours to get to NYC by train from Brooklyn. Someone said
to me that they stood in line for 45 minutes just trying to get out of
the PATH station. What's next? Toilet paper rationing? God forbid.
Wednesday, 6:30 PM
I can't control myself....must...go...home --- screw it --Brookstone!
Wednesday, 9 PM
Damn holiday hours and stores. Back and feet hurt from the walking.
DAY 3 OF THE STRIKE
Thursday, 12/22, 6:30 AM
Dammit.
Thursday, 12/22, 9 AM
People aren't smiling anymore. I hear more grumbling and complaining
in the streets. Dragging my feet to work. Of course, stop by
Fourbucks for coffee. Oh, I need to get something at Duane Reade!
Thursday, 12/22, 10 AM - 3:59 PM
WORK
Thursday, 12/22, 4 PM
STRIKE OVER! Wait, I can't be elated just yet. It will take 10-12
hours for trains to run back on schedule and I have to go to 21st and
7th from 45th and Lex. CRAP.
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Mike, Jen and Graham
Bob and Russell
Lisa D
+========================+
Check out your horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 29, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Horoscope Email: Extreme Bathroom Edition! (12/17/05)
This email is late.
+==============================+
Gobi -- what's the story? Girl or boy? Panama or Canada? You there?
+==============================+
My parents got a bidet. And it's not just any bidet. Theirs is the
BioBidet 500, which has a seat warmer (high and low temps), water temp
gauge, front and back wash, and self cleaning action! It's the most
wonderful thing in the world.
http://www.biobidet.com/BB500%20The%20Ultimate%20Bidet.htm
+==============================+
This week, there has been media coverage of another bidet on the
market, called The Swash. See? Bidets are SWASHING the market!
http://www.brondell.com/Swash-600-400.php4
+==============================+
Also in bathroom news, my friend Annie told me about the dual flush
toilets she encountered in Australia. This is SUCH a great idea!!!!
Dual flush toilets run on the theory that pee only takes a little
flushing whereas poo takes an almighty flush to expunge its foul self.
A dual flush uses less water and is just too smart for words. My
theory as to why it hasn't hit it big in America is because people in
America are stupid and ignorant.
And my god! The marriage of both worlds: dual flush AND bidet!!
http://www.environmentalhomecenter.com/shop.mv?CatCode=PRODUCT&ProdCode=CAROMA_TOILET
Research about the dual flush from those wacky Canadians
http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/publications/en/rh-pr/tech/02-124-e.html
And from my favorite environmental blog about totally random things:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/03/dual_flush_toil_1.php
+==============================+
And for any malodorous fumes in your bathroom, I always recommend
Citrus Magic. But I didn't realize that they made a holiday selection
of scents. Even though the makers of Citrus Magic recommend sending
the Warm Winter Sampler (Gingerbread Spice, Green Apple Spice,
Peppermint Candy, and Citrus Spice) toTeachers, caregivers, party
hosts, mail carriers, hair stylists, friends and relatives, I am
pretty sure that gingerbread spice air freshener should be in every
household in America.
http://www.citrusmagic.com/holiday2005.html
+==============================+
This link has nothing to do with bathrooms, but it has to be
acknowledged:
http://cuteoverload.com/
Brought to you by SunAe
+==============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey and Steven
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
Sandy and George
Lynda
Alex
+==============================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
+==============================+
Gobi -- what's the story? Girl or boy? Panama or Canada? You there?
+==============================+
My parents got a bidet. And it's not just any bidet. Theirs is the
BioBidet 500, which has a seat warmer (high and low temps), water temp
gauge, front and back wash, and self cleaning action! It's the most
wonderful thing in the world.
http://www.biobidet.com/BB500%20The%20Ultimate%20Bidet.htm
+==============================+
This week, there has been media coverage of another bidet on the
market, called The Swash. See? Bidets are SWASHING the market!
http://www.brondell.com/Swash-600-400.php4
+==============================+
Also in bathroom news, my friend Annie told me about the dual flush
toilets she encountered in Australia. This is SUCH a great idea!!!!
Dual flush toilets run on the theory that pee only takes a little
flushing whereas poo takes an almighty flush to expunge its foul self.
A dual flush uses less water and is just too smart for words. My
theory as to why it hasn't hit it big in America is because people in
America are stupid and ignorant.
And my god! The marriage of both worlds: dual flush AND bidet!!
http://www.environmentalhomecenter.com/shop.mv?CatCode=PRODUCT&ProdCode=CAROMA_TOILET
Research about the dual flush from those wacky Canadians
http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/publications/en/rh-pr/tech/02-124-e.html
And from my favorite environmental blog about totally random things:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/03/dual_flush_toil_1.php
+==============================+
And for any malodorous fumes in your bathroom, I always recommend
Citrus Magic. But I didn't realize that they made a holiday selection
of scents. Even though the makers of Citrus Magic recommend sending
the Warm Winter Sampler (Gingerbread Spice, Green Apple Spice,
Peppermint Candy, and Citrus Spice) toTeachers, caregivers, party
hosts, mail carriers, hair stylists, friends and relatives, I am
pretty sure that gingerbread spice air freshener should be in every
household in America.
http://www.citrusmagic.com/holiday2005.html
+==============================+
This link has nothing to do with bathrooms, but it has to be
acknowledged:
http://cuteoverload.com/
Brought to you by SunAe
+==============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey and Steven
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
Sandy and George
Lynda
Alex
+==============================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
Monday, December 5, 2005
GLOG!
My friend (and old roommate Sasha) had her holiday party and the theme of the party was this glog that she made. Glog is a Swedish hot mulled wine with lots of other stuff in it. When I lifted the lid of the glog pott, the fumes from the glog were so strong that I thought my makeup had melted off my face. So here's a list of items in her glog:
Brandy
Burgundy Red Wine
Sweet Vermouth
Port Wine
Cloves
Cardamom
Cinnamon Sticks
Raisins
Blanched Almonds
Sugar
Needless to say, I was glogged by the end of the night.
Brandy
Burgundy Red Wine
Sweet Vermouth
Port Wine
Cloves
Cardamom
Cinnamon Sticks
Raisins
Blanched Almonds
Sugar
Needless to say, I was glogged by the end of the night.
Friday, December 2, 2005
Remind me to tell you about my parents' new bidet (11/30/05)
It's so surreal to come back to a place where you used to work even
though the office is in a different location and most of the people
you used to work with are no longer there. It's just WEIRD. It's like
just jumped forward in time from 2000 when I last worked at Porter to
2005. It's just as busy and it's the same work, but it's not. So
strange.
+===================+
DARK...CHOCOLATE...KISSES!!!!!!!!
http://www.hersheys.com/products/details/kisses.asp
+===================+
Happy Belated Birthday Dabney
+======================+
The song, "Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang is a weird song, but
so catchy. If you think too hard about the song, you realize it is
very, very dirty. But the music is just so happy and disco-bouncy.
Just sticks in your head.
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall, tell me
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall
'Cause I heard all the people sayin'
Get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it
If you really want it
Get down on it
You gotta feel it
Get down on it
Get down on it, get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it, baby, baby
Get down on it
Get down on it
Get down on it
+======================+
PLEASE HIRE MY FRIEND MARTHA LANGMUIR!
Martha Langmuir has a Masters in International Affairs with a
concentration in Human Rights from COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY (Ivy League no
less!), and is looking for a position in international (or domestic)
human rights, public health (esp sexual/reproductive health), rights
of sexual minorities, etc. She speaks French and Bengali and is "quite
possibly the finest woman in NYC" (her partner Martha's quote and I
entirely and wholeheartedly agree).
So if you know anyone with whom Martha can meet, or if you know
someone who works in these fields and may or may not be looking for
someone, or if you just think she is great, let me know and I will
pass on the leads/good wishes to her. I am determined to find this
fine lady a job.
+======================+
LONDON (Reuters) - Ever get frustrated with fresh-out-of the-fridge
butter that is too hard to spread?
November 30, 2005
A UK-based company has launched a portable, temperature-controlled
butter dish, ButterWizard, which keeps butter at what it says is the
optimal spreadable temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.
It has a built-in fan and a chip which together control the
temperature, adjustable for different textures, be it super-soft
bread, crusty toast or delicate biscuits. "We were trying to find out
what people's frustration with butter was. It's either too hard or too
soft," said David Alfille, managing director of East Sussex-based
company Alfille Innovations Limited.
"ButterWizard heats or cools the butter and you can adjust the
temperature to suit yourself."
Nutritionist Fiona Hunter said: "There are over 16 million UK
households buying butter on a regular basis, but one complaint I hear
time after time is the lack of spreadability of real butter."
"Butter has been part of diet for thousands of years. The important
thing is to spread butter thinly," she added.
+======================+
IMPORTANT DAYS TO COMMEMORATE:
December 1
World AIDS Day
Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS)
unaids@unaids.org
www.unaids.org/en/default.asp
http://worldaidscampaign.info/index.php/wac/wac/world_aids_day/wad_2005_events
Dec. 3 - 9
National Handwashing Awareness Week
Henry the Hand Foundation
11714 U.S. Route 42
Cincinnati, OH 45241
(513) 769-3660
dr.will@henrythehand.com
www.henrythehand.com
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen, Mike and Graham
Russell and Bob
Sandy
Ertischek
Ann, Dabney, Diane
All the turkeys we ate
+======================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 1, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
though the office is in a different location and most of the people
you used to work with are no longer there. It's just WEIRD. It's like
just jumped forward in time from 2000 when I last worked at Porter to
2005. It's just as busy and it's the same work, but it's not. So
strange.
+===================+
DARK...CHOCOLATE...KISSES!!!!!!!!
http://www.hersheys.com/products/details/kisses.asp
+===================+
Happy Belated Birthday Dabney
+======================+
The song, "Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang is a weird song, but
so catchy. If you think too hard about the song, you realize it is
very, very dirty. But the music is just so happy and disco-bouncy.
Just sticks in your head.
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall, tell me
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall
'Cause I heard all the people sayin'
Get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it
If you really want it
Get down on it
You gotta feel it
Get down on it
Get down on it, get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it, baby, baby
Get down on it
Get down on it
Get down on it
+======================+
PLEASE HIRE MY FRIEND MARTHA LANGMUIR!
Martha Langmuir has a Masters in International Affairs with a
concentration in Human Rights from COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY (Ivy League no
less!), and is looking for a position in international (or domestic)
human rights, public health (esp sexual/reproductive health), rights
of sexual minorities, etc. She speaks French and Bengali and is "quite
possibly the finest woman in NYC" (her partner Martha's quote and I
entirely and wholeheartedly agree).
So if you know anyone with whom Martha can meet, or if you know
someone who works in these fields and may or may not be looking for
someone, or if you just think she is great, let me know and I will
pass on the leads/good wishes to her. I am determined to find this
fine lady a job.
+======================+
LONDON (Reuters) - Ever get frustrated with fresh-out-of the-fridge
butter that is too hard to spread?
November 30, 2005
A UK-based company has launched a portable, temperature-controlled
butter dish, ButterWizard, which keeps butter at what it says is the
optimal spreadable temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.
It has a built-in fan and a chip which together control the
temperature, adjustable for different textures, be it super-soft
bread, crusty toast or delicate biscuits. "We were trying to find out
what people's frustration with butter was. It's either too hard or too
soft," said David Alfille, managing director of East Sussex-based
company Alfille Innovations Limited.
"ButterWizard heats or cools the butter and you can adjust the
temperature to suit yourself."
Nutritionist Fiona Hunter said: "There are over 16 million UK
households buying butter on a regular basis, but one complaint I hear
time after time is the lack of spreadability of real butter."
"Butter has been part of diet for thousands of years. The important
thing is to spread butter thinly," she added.
+======================+
IMPORTANT DAYS TO COMMEMORATE:
December 1
World AIDS Day
Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS)
unaids@unaids.org
www.unaids.org/en/default.asp
http://worldaidscampaign.info/index.php/wac/wac/world_aids_day/wad_2005_events
Dec. 3 - 9
National Handwashing Awareness Week
Henry the Hand Foundation
11714 U.S. Route 42
Cincinnati, OH 45241
(513) 769-3660
dr.will@henrythehand.com
www.henrythehand.com
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen, Mike and Graham
Russell and Bob
Sandy
Ertischek
Ann, Dabney, Diane
All the turkeys we ate
+======================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 1, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Sunday, November 20, 2005
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
November 13, 2005
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
By ANDY NEWMAN
The New York Times
A bear with a prominent grease spot on his little beige nose spends his days wedged behind the bumper guard of an ironworker's pickup in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. A fuzzy rabbit and a clown, garroted by a bungee cord, slump from the front of a Dodge van in Park Slope. Stewie, the evil baby from "Family Guy," scowls from the grille of a Pepperidge Farm delivery truck in Brooklyn Heights, mold occasionally sprouting from his forehead.
All are soldiers in the tattered, scattered army of the stuffed: mostly discarded toys plucked from the trash and given new if punishing lives on the prows of large motor vehicles, their fluffy white guts flapping from burst seams and going gray in the soot-stream of a thousand exhaust pipes.
Grille-mounted stuffed animals form a compelling yet little-studied aspect of the urban streetscape, a traveling gallery of baldly transgressive public art. The time has come not just to praise them but to ask the big question. Why?
That is, why do a small percentage of trucks and vans have filthy plush toys lashed to their fronts, like prisoners at the mast? Are they someone's idea of a joke? Parking aids? Talismans against summonses?
Don't expect an easy answer.
Interviews with half a dozen truckers as well as folklorists, art historians and anthropologists revealed the grille-mounted plush toy to be a product of a tangle of physical circumstance, proximate and indirect influence, ethnic tradition, occupational mindset and Jungian archetype.
Like all adornments, of course, the grille pet advertises something about its owner. The very act of decorating a truck indicates an openness on the driver's part, according to Dan DiVittorio, owner of D & N Services, a carting company in Queens, and of a garbage truck with a squishy red skull on the front.
"It has to do something with their character," said Mr. DiVittorio, 27. "I don't see anybody that wouldn't be a halfway decent person putting something on their truck."
But a truck can be aesthetically modified in a million ways: "Mom" in spiffy gold letters across the hood; mudflaps depicting top-heavy women; flames painted along the sides. Why use beat-up stuffed animals?
One prevalent theory among truckers is that chicks dig them.
Robert Marbury, an artist who photographed dozens of Manhattan bumper fauna for a project in 2000 (see urbanbeast.com/faq/strapped.html), said he had once asked a trash hauler why he had a family of three mismatched bears strapped to his rig.
"He said: 'Yo, man, I drive a garbage truck. How am I going to get the ladies to look at me?' " Mr. Marbury recalled.
Mr. Marbury, who holds a degree in anthropology, added that the battered bear and his brethren had at least one foot in the vernacular cultures of Latin America, where the festive and the ghoulish enjoy a symbiotic relationship. Most of the drivers whose trucks he photographed were Hispanic, he said.
Monroe Denton, a lecturer in art history at the School of Visual Arts, traced the phenomenon's roots back to the figureheads that have animated bows of ships since the time of the pharaohs.
"There was some sort of heraldic device to deny the fact of this gigantic machine," he said. "You would have these humanizing forms, anthropomorphic forms - a device that both proclaims the identity of the machine and conceals it."
Whatever its origins, the grille-mounted cuddle object is found across the country. It has been spotted in Baltimore, Miami, Chicago and other cities.
Mierle Laderman Ukeles, the artist in residence at New York City's Department of Sanitation, said that when she noticed the animals on garbagemen's trucks in the late 1970's, she "felt they were like these spirit creatures that were accompanying them on this endless journey in flux."
There are differences, though, between the dragon crowning a Viking ship - or, for that matter, the chrome bulldog guarding the hood of a Mack truck- and the scuzzy bunny bound to the bumper with rubber hose. The main one is that the grille-mounted stuffed animal is almost always a found object - "mongo," in garbageman's parlance. And in that respect it functions as a sort of trophy.
"I always felt," Ms. Ukeles said, "with these creatures that they withdrew from the garbage and refused to let go of, that there was an act of rescue involved."
That is certainly true for Julio Hernandez, a laborer for Aspen Tree Specialists in Brooklyn.
The GMC chipper-truck he rides in is graced with 11 figurines, each defective in one way or another - Hulk Hogan with both hands missing, a Frankenstein monster with a hole in his head, a nearly disintegrated black rubber rat. "People throw them out because they're broken," Mr. Hernandez, 38, said in Spanish. "They catch my attention."
A few months ago, Roberto Argueto spotted a floppy doll in the gutter near the headquarters of Sasco Construction in Brooklyn. The doll had brown pigtails, a white bonnet and the bluest eyes. He hung her from the front wall of the flatbed of his truck with a coat hanger, and he named her Margaret.
"I like the doll," said Mr. Argueto, 39. "She's pretty."
The flatbed carries some unforgiving payloads - scaffolding, bricks, sandbags - but Mr. Argueto protects Margaret.
"When I put something back there, I try to cover her," he said.
For all the reclaimed toys that are fussed over, though, there seem to be at least as many that are mistreated: tied to grilles in positions that recall the rack, and exposed to the maximum amount of road-salt and mud-spray.
Why do this? Whence the urge to debase an icon of innocence?
This is the true mystery of the grille-mounted stuffed animal, and it is here that the terrain gets heavily psychological and a bit murky.
Ms. Ukeles, who claims to understand sanitation workers fairly well, having shaken hands with 8,500 of them during a three-year performance project, said they identified on some level with their mascots.
"There's a transference in this," she said. "There's this soft, flesh-and-bone sanitation worker, who knows very well they could be crushed against this truck. The creature could be the sanitation worker in a very dangerous position, so the animal could be a stand-in."
(Stuffed animals, sadly, are verboten on city garbage trucks and nearly impossible to find these days; they were against department regulations even in the 1970's, but perhaps sanitation men are not the free spirits now that they were back then.)
At the same time, Ms. Ukeles said, the trucker, perhaps uncomfortable with his soft side, may feel compelled to punish it.
"Binding a soft thing to a very powerful truck - there's a kind of macho thing about that," she said.
That double identification with both victim and agent of violence may reflect the driver's frustrating position in society. Stuffed animals are found mostly on the trucks of men who perform hard, messy labor, which, despite the strength and bravery it demands, places them on the lower rungs of the ladder of occupational prestige.
The motley animal, then, can function as a badge of outsider status, a thumbed nose to the squares and suits. In that case, the cuter the mascot, the more meaningful its disintegration.
Thus, while Mr. DiVittorio, of the Queens carting company, is quite fond of the red plastic skull that adorns his garbage truck, he will never forget its predecessor, a three-foot-high stuffed Scooby-Doo.
"Scooby was great," he recalled. "He covered the whole radiator and down to the bumper. You can't even imagine how many people took pictures of him."
Life on the road took its toll. "He got junked out riding in the front of the truck," Mr. DiVittorio said. "One of his arms was starting to fall off."
Mr. DiVittorio blamed the rivet-studded wire ties that held the dog fast. "You know how," he said, "if you have cuffs on your wrists, they dig into you?"
Eventually, Mr. DiVittorio said, Scooby's time came: "He went from the front of the truck to the back. We had to throw him away."
Scooby's story lends credence to the theory of Mr. Denton, the art historian, that the grille-mounted stuffed animal draws from the same well as the "abject art" movement that flourished in the 1990's and trafficked heavily in images of filth and of distressed bodies.
"That is part of the abject," he said, "this toy that is loved to death quite literally."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
The externalization of an indoor object is another abject trope, Mr. Denton said. "An important aspect of the abject is the informe, the lack of boundaries," he said, using the French critical theory term, "the insides oozing out."
Charlie Maixner, a steamfitter for Deacon Corp. in Jericho on Long Island, has taken the informe to its logical extreme.
On the dashboard of his Econoline van is an adorable and pristine white bear, a gift from his 5-year-old daughter. But the bear is not for the outside world. On the grille is Mr. Hankey, salvaged from a chef's office during a kitchen renovation job.
Mr. Hankey, to the pop-culturally illiterate, appears to be a brown worm in a Santa hat. He is not. He is the carol-crooning excrement from "South Park," where he is formally known as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
"The bear on the dashboard, that's 'I love you, Daddy,' " Mr. Maixner said. "The other one is 'Daddy, what's that?' "
For that question, Mr. Maixner has a ready answer:
"I just tell her it's Mr. Hankey."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
By ANDY NEWMAN
The New York Times
A bear with a prominent grease spot on his little beige nose spends his days wedged behind the bumper guard of an ironworker's pickup in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. A fuzzy rabbit and a clown, garroted by a bungee cord, slump from the front of a Dodge van in Park Slope. Stewie, the evil baby from "Family Guy," scowls from the grille of a Pepperidge Farm delivery truck in Brooklyn Heights, mold occasionally sprouting from his forehead.
All are soldiers in the tattered, scattered army of the stuffed: mostly discarded toys plucked from the trash and given new if punishing lives on the prows of large motor vehicles, their fluffy white guts flapping from burst seams and going gray in the soot-stream of a thousand exhaust pipes.
Grille-mounted stuffed animals form a compelling yet little-studied aspect of the urban streetscape, a traveling gallery of baldly transgressive public art. The time has come not just to praise them but to ask the big question. Why?
That is, why do a small percentage of trucks and vans have filthy plush toys lashed to their fronts, like prisoners at the mast? Are they someone's idea of a joke? Parking aids? Talismans against summonses?
Don't expect an easy answer.
Interviews with half a dozen truckers as well as folklorists, art historians and anthropologists revealed the grille-mounted plush toy to be a product of a tangle of physical circumstance, proximate and indirect influence, ethnic tradition, occupational mindset and Jungian archetype.
Like all adornments, of course, the grille pet advertises something about its owner. The very act of decorating a truck indicates an openness on the driver's part, according to Dan DiVittorio, owner of D & N Services, a carting company in Queens, and of a garbage truck with a squishy red skull on the front.
"It has to do something with their character," said Mr. DiVittorio, 27. "I don't see anybody that wouldn't be a halfway decent person putting something on their truck."
But a truck can be aesthetically modified in a million ways: "Mom" in spiffy gold letters across the hood; mudflaps depicting top-heavy women; flames painted along the sides. Why use beat-up stuffed animals?
One prevalent theory among truckers is that chicks dig them.
Robert Marbury, an artist who photographed dozens of Manhattan bumper fauna for a project in 2000 (see urbanbeast.com/faq/strapped.html), said he had once asked a trash hauler why he had a family of three mismatched bears strapped to his rig.
"He said: 'Yo, man, I drive a garbage truck. How am I going to get the ladies to look at me?' " Mr. Marbury recalled.
Mr. Marbury, who holds a degree in anthropology, added that the battered bear and his brethren had at least one foot in the vernacular cultures of Latin America, where the festive and the ghoulish enjoy a symbiotic relationship. Most of the drivers whose trucks he photographed were Hispanic, he said.
Monroe Denton, a lecturer in art history at the School of Visual Arts, traced the phenomenon's roots back to the figureheads that have animated bows of ships since the time of the pharaohs.
"There was some sort of heraldic device to deny the fact of this gigantic machine," he said. "You would have these humanizing forms, anthropomorphic forms - a device that both proclaims the identity of the machine and conceals it."
Whatever its origins, the grille-mounted cuddle object is found across the country. It has been spotted in Baltimore, Miami, Chicago and other cities.
Mierle Laderman Ukeles, the artist in residence at New York City's Department of Sanitation, said that when she noticed the animals on garbagemen's trucks in the late 1970's, she "felt they were like these spirit creatures that were accompanying them on this endless journey in flux."
There are differences, though, between the dragon crowning a Viking ship - or, for that matter, the chrome bulldog guarding the hood of a Mack truck- and the scuzzy bunny bound to the bumper with rubber hose. The main one is that the grille-mounted stuffed animal is almost always a found object - "mongo," in garbageman's parlance. And in that respect it functions as a sort of trophy.
"I always felt," Ms. Ukeles said, "with these creatures that they withdrew from the garbage and refused to let go of, that there was an act of rescue involved."
That is certainly true for Julio Hernandez, a laborer for Aspen Tree Specialists in Brooklyn.
The GMC chipper-truck he rides in is graced with 11 figurines, each defective in one way or another - Hulk Hogan with both hands missing, a Frankenstein monster with a hole in his head, a nearly disintegrated black rubber rat. "People throw them out because they're broken," Mr. Hernandez, 38, said in Spanish. "They catch my attention."
A few months ago, Roberto Argueto spotted a floppy doll in the gutter near the headquarters of Sasco Construction in Brooklyn. The doll had brown pigtails, a white bonnet and the bluest eyes. He hung her from the front wall of the flatbed of his truck with a coat hanger, and he named her Margaret.
"I like the doll," said Mr. Argueto, 39. "She's pretty."
The flatbed carries some unforgiving payloads - scaffolding, bricks, sandbags - but Mr. Argueto protects Margaret.
"When I put something back there, I try to cover her," he said.
For all the reclaimed toys that are fussed over, though, there seem to be at least as many that are mistreated: tied to grilles in positions that recall the rack, and exposed to the maximum amount of road-salt and mud-spray.
Why do this? Whence the urge to debase an icon of innocence?
This is the true mystery of the grille-mounted stuffed animal, and it is here that the terrain gets heavily psychological and a bit murky.
Ms. Ukeles, who claims to understand sanitation workers fairly well, having shaken hands with 8,500 of them during a three-year performance project, said they identified on some level with their mascots.
"There's a transference in this," she said. "There's this soft, flesh-and-bone sanitation worker, who knows very well they could be crushed against this truck. The creature could be the sanitation worker in a very dangerous position, so the animal could be a stand-in."
(Stuffed animals, sadly, are verboten on city garbage trucks and nearly impossible to find these days; they were against department regulations even in the 1970's, but perhaps sanitation men are not the free spirits now that they were back then.)
At the same time, Ms. Ukeles said, the trucker, perhaps uncomfortable with his soft side, may feel compelled to punish it.
"Binding a soft thing to a very powerful truck - there's a kind of macho thing about that," she said.
That double identification with both victim and agent of violence may reflect the driver's frustrating position in society. Stuffed animals are found mostly on the trucks of men who perform hard, messy labor, which, despite the strength and bravery it demands, places them on the lower rungs of the ladder of occupational prestige.
The motley animal, then, can function as a badge of outsider status, a thumbed nose to the squares and suits. In that case, the cuter the mascot, the more meaningful its disintegration.
Thus, while Mr. DiVittorio, of the Queens carting company, is quite fond of the red plastic skull that adorns his garbage truck, he will never forget its predecessor, a three-foot-high stuffed Scooby-Doo.
"Scooby was great," he recalled. "He covered the whole radiator and down to the bumper. You can't even imagine how many people took pictures of him."
Life on the road took its toll. "He got junked out riding in the front of the truck," Mr. DiVittorio said. "One of his arms was starting to fall off."
Mr. DiVittorio blamed the rivet-studded wire ties that held the dog fast. "You know how," he said, "if you have cuffs on your wrists, they dig into you?"
Eventually, Mr. DiVittorio said, Scooby's time came: "He went from the front of the truck to the back. We had to throw him away."
Scooby's story lends credence to the theory of Mr. Denton, the art historian, that the grille-mounted stuffed animal draws from the same well as the "abject art" movement that flourished in the 1990's and trafficked heavily in images of filth and of distressed bodies.
"That is part of the abject," he said, "this toy that is loved to death quite literally."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
The externalization of an indoor object is another abject trope, Mr. Denton said. "An important aspect of the abject is the informe, the lack of boundaries," he said, using the French critical theory term, "the insides oozing out."
Charlie Maixner, a steamfitter for Deacon Corp. in Jericho on Long Island, has taken the informe to its logical extreme.
On the dashboard of his Econoline van is an adorable and pristine white bear, a gift from his 5-year-old daughter. But the bear is not for the outside world. On the grille is Mr. Hankey, salvaged from a chef's office during a kitchen renovation job.
Mr. Hankey, to the pop-culturally illiterate, appears to be a brown worm in a Santa hat. He is not. He is the carol-crooning excrement from "South Park," where he is formally known as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
"The bear on the dashboard, that's 'I love you, Daddy,' " Mr. Maixner said. "The other one is 'Daddy, what's that?' "
For that question, Mr. Maixner has a ready answer:
"I just tell her it's Mr. Hankey."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Halloween in Boston
My lovely friends Ann, Dabney and Ashley, along with their friend Boston Tara, hosted Fright Pint '05 and here are the photos. If you can't tell, I am Bob Ross.
http://www.ashbloemstraat.com/blog/_archives/2005/10/31/1332987.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20881331@N00/sets/1257728/
http://www.ashbloemstraat.com/blog/_archives/2005/10/31/1332987.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20881331@N00/sets/1257728/
A QUICKIE (11-10-05)
This one is a short one as I was out last week in FL attending to the parents (they are fine) and started my new job this week (it's great) and need to get back on the horoscope wagon...
+===========================+
Pearls of Wisdom and Other Ancient Chinese Secrets:
ABSOLUTELY NEVER eat salmon on a Sunday and NEVER eat linguine with clam sauce on a Monday. You would think I would remember these things, but NoooOOoOoOOooOO. Needless to say, I was out sick on my second day at my new job.
And oddly enough, I am now craving fried shrimp.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO LORINDA WONG AND KIM HECKSCHER DECKER!
The Marthas
Ertischek
Saumya, Matt S. and Lisa D., for complaining that they haven't seen their horoscopes in a while
Congrats to Sandy and George for finally moving out of their families' homes and into their own!
Congrats to YoungMee on her move to Boston!
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 10, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+===========================+
Pearls of Wisdom and Other Ancient Chinese Secrets:
ABSOLUTELY NEVER eat salmon on a Sunday and NEVER eat linguine with clam sauce on a Monday. You would think I would remember these things, but NoooOOoOoOOooOO. Needless to say, I was out sick on my second day at my new job.
And oddly enough, I am now craving fried shrimp.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO LORINDA WONG AND KIM HECKSCHER DECKER!
The Marthas
Ertischek
Saumya, Matt S. and Lisa D., for complaining that they haven't seen their horoscopes in a while
Congrats to Sandy and George for finally moving out of their families' homes and into their own!
Congrats to YoungMee on her move to Boston!
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 10, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
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