Breathing is so underrated (6/25/2003)

So, I have bronchitis again. Therefore, I am going to take smoking cessation course called Smokenders to quit. I was successful for one year after that class. Of course, getting seriously angry made me relapse, but that's okay. This time I will work on quitting smoking and anger
management. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Please feel free to send me encouraging notes for the next two months while I go through this process. I will be successful again, dammit!

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My friend Lynn is very funny; she sent me an email with the header:
"Oh My God, it's the sun!" She notes: I hope you're feeling better! And able to enjoy that big yellow thing that's been in the sky for 2 days in a row - I think they use to call it the sun. :o)

Thankfully, she reminded me what it was. I stared at the orb for a couple of minutes trying to figure out what that warmth-giving light was. And then I burned my corneas. They tell me it is still sunny out.

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I have figured out what one major wrong thing in today's world. Yes, war, pestilence, hunger, they are all the things wrong in this world, but let's face it. War, pestilence, hunger and a lot of other bad things have been around since the beginning of time. What is wrong with TODAY's world is this: too many remote controls. We are in a modern age, the cutting edge of technology. The human race has made more technological advances in the past two hundred years than, well, ever. BUT we as a species can't work together (hence, the war, pestilence, hunger, et. al.) and make the technology work...

Hmm, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that we have too many remote controls. Since humans are egotistical and can't get along with one another, it makes sense that there are no universal remotes that will accommodate my TVs, VCR, DVD, stereo, and now, my air conditioner. If we can't centralize a measuring system (Isn't everyone else using metric? Or beans?), than how can I expect the electronics industry to make their products use some universal technology that will allow everything to be plugged into one remote system? I know that there are people out there who can centralize the remote system into one LCD screened remote (if you have seen the Osbournes, then you have seen Ozzy fight with that remote over and over again. BTW, did you see this week's episode? The new BMW Ozzy purchased uses voice recognition technology, but since Ozzy slurs his words, the car keeps asking him to repeat himself. Now, that's good TV), but that's too cost-prohibitive.

You know, the more I write, the more flaws I see in my logic. But what is surprising is that I refuse to go back and edit this. I am too lazy to go back and edit this essay to make sense. Which, you know, is also another flaw in the human race. That and electronics.

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This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> The miracle of sewing
>> Harry Potter - I just got my book!
>> US Postal Service - for delivering my book
>> Mike, Jen and Graham, good luck in FL!
>> Sally, Audrey, Christer, Robin, Zoe - good times :-) See you in MAINE
>> Sandy, the house owner
>> Manisha - I spoke to Kate last night and found out - YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!

There is a man with a ladder poking his head into the ceiling tiles. I wonder what he is up to... (6/11/2003)

Sorry this is a short one - thought up a great topic last night, but didn't write it down and forget what it was this morning. Oops. Lesson learned.

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The weather has been such a bitch this year. Cold and gray for six months straight and now it's sunny one day and gray and raining the next. Multiple personality disorder weather. At least it's not 40 degrees F in the day time. I guess we should all be thankful for small mercies.

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http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/
I am really amazed at what people do in their spare time. Check out this web site - haute couture for cats.

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Quick announcement: I don't remember my cell phone voice mail password;
therefore, if you called and left me a message last week, I am sorry I never called you back. Note to everyone: if you think of calling me on my cell, please do not leave a message :-) And please do not send me an email telling me how I can get my password. I know how to get my password. I just don't want to get it.

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HAIKUS Update: They are still being reviewed by the judges (and no, I am not telling you who the judges are).

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This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> Gillian and Lynn, who leave in August for new adventures (and to Lynn again for going to Italy for a year! Come si dice "house guest" in Italiano?)
>> SunAe and her friends Matt and Lee, excellent picnic!

Happy brithday, happy birthday! (6/5/2003)

Thank you to all of you who submitted haikus. You are all very creative and inventive people. I am a little surprised how you stretched the word media into all sorts of directions. Which is exactly how I planned it. Excellent (I am channeling Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons"). Anyway, you should all hear very soon re: the winners. I am not judging, but some of my
close, personal friends are. So bribes are welcome.

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I am dedicating this week's horoscopes to my brother, Dr. Mike, renowned vascular surgeon at Columbia. If you ever need something vascular worked on (deep vein thrombosis, carotid artery stenosis, gangrene, etc.), he's your man.

My brother and I used to fight all them time. The entire neighborhood could hear us yelling obscenities to each other from the time we were children. We finally grew out of it and now we are good friends. Of course, he has this bad habit of looking at some new electronic device of mine and saying,"You don't need that, do you?" But that's what brothers are for. I will always cherish those wrestling matches, water fights and his scaring me with stories of ax murderers loose in the neighborhood (and of course, the ax was "missing" from our garage). Ahh, good times.

So here's to you, my brother! Happy Birthday!

Love, your sis