BE FOREWARN; BE FOUR ARMED:
THONG PANTS. YES, THEY ARE OUT THERE, WAITING TO LIFT AND SEPARATE YOU!
I have known for a while that there is new technology in pants today. Lycra definitely opened the door to pants technology - allowing the user to stretch and move while still looking good. Today, pants technology has surpassed all of our expectations and now can define your butt. Yes, it’s true. Don’t waste your time doing squats and lunges in the gym - just put on some mechanically engineered jeans that will lift and create a butt that you technically don’t have! Of course, these jeans costs over $150, but what’s a little cash for a cheap butt lift?
However, I am not sure if everyone knows that there are pants available now that act as a thong. I am not talking about those loose cotton pajama like pants that crawl up everyone’s ass as they walk (sit, lie down, roll over) - I am talking about dress pants and jeans that are meant to be worn in public. They not only lift and define the butt, but they also divide and conquer. I know what you are thinking - couldn’t it be a short inseam? No. There are short inseams and then there are pants that were made to purposely lift, divide AND separate.
Now I really know what you are thinking—Michelle, are you staring at people’s butts as you walk to work?
And the answer is simply Yes - I am looking at your ass. It’s hard to not to stare. Especially if you notice that a person’s clean cut chinos are creating a continental divide.
It’s not only a divider but an equalizer; there are thong pants out there for men as well. I have seen it and nine times out of ten it is not a pretty sight.
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FROM MY BRILLIANT FRIEND, CAITLYN IN DC:
“you know, having sampled a variety of bathrooms in the capitol, I’ve noticed that the crappy toilet paper (i.e. the tissue paper dispenser kind) can only be found around the press gallery. hmmm, Congress does get the last laugh!”
AND
“P.S. I also learned that the men’s bathroom near the house chambers is called the Fonzie and is where all the deals take place. (It’s an homage to Fonzie’s bathroom office in Al’s, but I don’t think there’s a congressman that can hit a jukebox and make it start.”
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From Delta Airlines weekly email:
DOMESTIC FARE SPECIALS*
*Additional taxes/fees/restrictions apply. Fares shown are available only for purchase on delta.com of from a travel agent.
New York-LaGuardia, NY (LGA) to:
-- Newark, NJ (EWR) - $138
Now, why in the world would you want to fly from LaGuardia to Newark, New Jersey, which is approx. 26 miles difference from each other.
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Get this and more at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
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This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Happy Belated Birthday, Martha!
Congratulations on the journal publication, Ertischek! http://www.eblue.org/scripts/om.dll/serve?action=searchDB&searchDBfor=art&artType=abs&id=as0190962205004408&nav=abs
Thanks Saumya!
Howdy Sunita and Audrey!
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Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 16, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
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