Thursday, January 26, 2006

Slippery slope (1-26-06)

I know there are some of you who do this. I know it. And I know
there are some of you who secretly wish they could do this, but can't.
Personally, I find it really disgusting and don't understand it. I
just don't understand it at all.

People who carry their pillows with them while they travel -- why, why
do they do that? Don't they see the germ exposure! People who carry
their pillows are always sitting on them, folding them against the
public seats, dragging them on the floor.

EUW.

And the pillows are always stained, dirty, drooled on. Very...loved.

What I don't understand is why that dirty, stained pillow is so
necessary that it must be carried around on a trip. And why can't
they put a nice clean cover on it. Or at least put the pillow in a
plastic bag. Or even just leave the stinky stained thing at home.

I can understand the love of a good pillow. But please, people, try
not to carry the stinking bag of dust mites and skin flakes with you.
Or at least, refrain from swinging the pillow in my direction.

+===================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:

Mike, Jen and Graham
Ertischek

+===================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html

Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 26, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Once you get to the palm tree, turn left after the third camel on the right and THEN.... (1-13-06)

THE U.S. GOVERNMENT'S MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD LIBS

My friend L. lives in Washington, DC, and works for the U.S.
government in the Department of [CRAZY NOUN]. She can't discuss what
she does, but I do know she writes about [PLACES] and [PEOPLE]. She
has always wanted to tour war torned regions, which I think is
[EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] crazy, but I know that whatever she does she
will be successful at it. I just hope that she has [NOUN] to protect
her.

So, when she told me that she volunteer to go to [HOT, DUSTY, UNSAFE
COUNTRY], I said, "Wow, that's [EXPLETIVE ADJECTIVE] great!" My next
question was, "What are you going to do about the rest of the
television schedule?" My third questions was, "What will you be doing
in [PLACE WHERE THINGS, WHICH ARE USUALLY LOUD, EXPLOSIVE EVEN, HAPPEN
ON A DAILY BASIS]?"

She told me that she doesn't know. She is just going for [NUMBER] of
[PERIOD OF TIME] and she is not sure what she will be doing. To which
I replied, [EXPLETIVE THAT HARKENS FOUL AROMAS FROM LARGE LUMBERING
FARM ANIMAL]! You just can't say!

We went back and forth on this: No, really I don't know! You just
can't tell me! No, really, I don't know. COME ON! You know. Well,
you can see how this goes.

So, she continued by saying that the next [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME]
she will be in training classes to learn [NAME OF ACTIVITY] and for
the last [NUMBER] of [PERIOD OF TIME] she will be at [LOCATION THAT
HAS LOTS OF FENCES].

I am just amazed at L. That she can go to [THE COUNTRY WHERE WOMEN
WEAR LOTS OF BLACK] and do... well... something. Especially in
today's political climate. I am very proud of her. Now, I just hope
that she doesn't get [ACTION VERB] or [ANOTHER ACTION VERB], but I do
hope she gets to [ACTION VERB] or [NOT SO ACTION VERB]. And just that
she gets back safe.

So, BON VOYAGE AND SAFE TRAVELS, L.!

+=====================+
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! (Thank our international mule for the Baygon!
http://www.baygon.com/nqcontent.cfm?a_id=186)

+=====================+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html

Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of January 12, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.