From the cr'kberry

We might be remote!

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[Deleted disclosure text from job]

Looking for some old lady house slippers... (5-24-06)

Beans should come with warning labels.
+======================+
T-Shirts with Quotes Are Getting Annoying:
Guy in t-shirt that said: HALF MAN, HALF HORSE
Guy in t-shirt that said: Tennis players have FUZZY BALLS

+======================+
THIS IS WHY I LOVE MY CRACKBERRY:

5/18/2006 @ 9:11 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
SUBJ: OMG
I am sitting on this acela and HENRY KISSINGER is sitting across from me!!!!!!!!!!!
And if you arer wondering, I am in first class - train was sold out.
Damn, I wish I had my sharpie - I would get him to sign my blackberry!

05/18/2006 09:15 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
And he really talks like that!!!!!!!

05/18/2006 09:44 AM
FROM: Michelle Park
BCC: [undisclosed recipients]
RE: Omg
Seriously - and he is a loud talker. You could hear his deep voice pretty much all over the car. I guess if you are HK you might as well tallk as loud as you want.
+======================+
I really wish I took a picture of me and Henry Kissinger. But I didn't want to bother him. I mean, the man is 83. However, I guess staring at him for an hour is about as intrusive as getting a photograph or signature.


+=================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DR. CYNTHIA SINHA
Good to see you for 10 hours, MICHELLE ERTISCHEK
Hope your tongue feels better, RENEE ERTISCHEK
Wonderful seeing you for dinner, DIANE FRAKE
Welcome back, ANN MANUBAY AND DABNEY FRAKE
Super seeing you for dinner, RUSSELL FROST
Congrats on passing your test, DR. MIKE
Glad you feel better, GRAHAM PARK


+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 25, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Tom the Cat

These are the many faces of Tom the Cat. This cat is the most incredible cat in the world. I don't think he is real. Got this from Stuff on My Cat (http://stuffonmycat.com/index.php?itemid=1370).

I heart words

I really do love words. And this German word is perfect: kummerspeck. It literally translates as grief bacon. The actual definition is the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4248494.stm

Baby Suit

Man, people are brilliant. http://www.gildlilies.com/pop_ups/phillip_toledano_kaleidoscope.htm

Yes, I used a splatter screen...

Ah, my helpful friends. Per my post below, I did use a splatter screen while cooking bacon. But somehow the grease still got through the screen and hit my eye. My helpful friend Cassie, however, sent me a link to these splatter screens, which she recommends. Thanks, Cassie :) but I think I will stick to getting someone else to cook the bacon for me.

institutional coffee SUX (5-17-06)

All of you should know by now that I am a star whore and have a subscription to People magazine. However, I stopped paying the real prices and bought a subscription to it online via e-bay (Thanks for the tip, Annie!). Much cheaper. So this week, I am going to update you on all of the star news that I think is important.

+====================+

According to BET:

WHITNEY ON THE LOOSE

The tabloids are claiming that WHITNEY HOUSTON is on the loose. The rumor is that HOUSTON ran away from rehab in the middle of the night after having had enough. Ironically, they say all HOUSTON did was chain smoke Newport cigarettes, relaxed a lot and denied being an addict. WHITNEY was rumored to have checked herself into a hotel in Newport Beach, Calif. WHITNEY, go back to rehab girl!

And I totally agree. GO BACK TO REHAB, GIRL!

http://www.bet.com/Music/LOOSE+LIPS+10.htm?Referrer=%7B140E87E8-DD65-42E4-91FD-F8D7225C7C54%7D
+====================+

PAUL MCCARTNEY and wife split!

As if we didn't see this one coming. As I told my friend Annie, she has a chance with PAUL now, but HEATHER, PAUL's soon-to-be ex-wife, didn't sign a prenup -- so PAUL may potentially have only $1.125 billion instead of $1.5 billion. Annie, I hope you can live with a poorer PAUL.

+====================+
NICOLE KIDMAN and KEITH URBAN (who?) are engaged!

Well double DUH. The girl has been wearing the largest diamond rings on her left hand for months now.

+====================+
And now for some local news:

While cooking some bacon this weekend, bacon grease sputtered through the splatter screen and landed in MICHELLE PARK's right eye. It was only a small amount of grease, but enough to cause a lot of blinking. After calling her friend DR. SANDY LEE, who resides in Los Angeles, CA, MICHELLE applied lots of eye ointment and drops. Luckily, MICHELLE is doing much better and takes this episode as a sign to always order bacon out, never cook it at home.

+====================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:

My nephew GRAHAM, feel better!

Happy Belated Birthday to MIKE C.

JEN, JESS, ISSAC, PHILLIP, CARMELA: can't wait for the 4th!

ANNIE AND DABNEY: safe travels!

DR. SANDY, thanks for the eye advice!

GOBI -- S.P.O.C. -- send photos of CHILD!

+====================+
Check out your Free Will Astrology Horoscopes for week of May 18, 2006
By ROB BREZSNY
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

I Licka Yo Fingah!

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/05/no_hamster_tong.html

The anthropomorphization of animals #2

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/05/arrrrrrivaderci.html

Heaven is a place on Earth...

If I could live here, I would.

Is it real or is it a Muppet? YOU DECIDE!

I Licka Your Face!

The anthropomorphization of cats

Don't mess with my toot toot! (5-11-06)

Lessons learned this week:
+ Always repeatedly save your document while you are working on it. And remember to save in the correct folder that you can find later.
+ Just because there are lychees in the soju, it doesn't mean it is any less potent.
+ Water is your friend.
+ Transitioning from winter feet to summer Hobbit feet is a painful, yet worthy process.
+ Sometimes culture is boring.
+ I can work two months straight without a vacation day; but it just isn't worth it.
+ You can watch too much "The Dog Whisperer." And it's always the human's fault. ALWAYS.
+ David Blaine is a freak. (And yes, I took a photo of me and him while he was in the bubble)
+ Take Beano when you plan to eat beans. (this one needs to be tattooed on my hand so that I can always see it)
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen Brown!
Sun Ae, Mike, Simone, Katherine, Sasha -- we must do it again!
Bob and Russell
Michelle E

+===========================+
If you didn't get a chance to see it, here is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Press Club Dinner. HILARIOUS!

+===========================+
Printed from
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 11, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Mmm, you smell like Play-Doh....

Play-Doh perfume. EUW.