Wednesday, July 2, 2003

Wocka-doo, wocka-doo, wocka-doo [HAIKU WINNERS] (7/02/03)

NOTE: MY APOLOGIES IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THIS EMAIL TWICE.

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AND NOW THE RESULTS OF THEUNIVERSAL AMERICAN GRAND NATIONAL HAIKU CONTEST #2

FIVE TIE FOR SECOND PLACE

Listed in alphabetical order by first name:

Idle or Idol

Blue light shines on glazed pupils

Hypnotized by box

By Ann Manubay & Dabney Frake, Boston, MA

Comments:Yes! Death to television!

I like the focus on a type of media, and not a particular outlet

Damn you all to hell

Dubya, Cheney, and your pals.

Christian? Right. Should pray.

By Dan Cohn ("Pluto"), Washington, DC

Comments:Excellent!

The Fox News Channel:

blonde, lip-glossed, botox bimbos.

(Real Journalism)

By Erin Elizabeth Smith & Antonio Carlos DeFeo, Pelham Manor, NY

Comments:Yes!

Don't they all have blond bimbos?

Since when is blond spelled with an e?

Holy war, our way

Teaching patriotic hate,

Xenophobes have won

By Jonathan Bell, Los Angeles, CA

Comments:Ditto

Newspaper Headline:

Jayson Blair-Sign of the Times?

Leaves Black on our Hands.

By Nichole Peterson, San Diego, CA

Comments:

That is magnificent.

Ouch.

And now, for the winner....Drum roll please...This year's winner of the "Why I hate (or dislike) the media" haiku contest,who is not only the second winner ever of this contest, but also coincidentally married to the first ever winner of this contest, is......

THE WINNER, ETHAN DECKER!

Plane crash, seven dead

Pipe bomb, deadly virus, rape

Next: doggy salons

By Ethan Decker, Boulder, CO

Comments:

Clever

Excellent imitation of today's media

++++++++++++++++++++++

Michelle Park's comments:

First I would like to say thank you to everyone who submitted haikus and allof those who pointedly told me that they weren't creative enough or hadenough time to write a haiku. I would like everyone to know that althoughthere were a couple of songwriters in the contest, there were no haikumasters. Well, I take that back, there were a couple of haiku masters, butnobody who is a professional.

Second, I want to say, even though Ethan is married to Kim, the first winnerof the Grand Master Championship haiku contest (note: the first contest'stheme was poultry), there was no nepotism here because I didn't vote. Andneither of the judges knows either Ethan or Kim.

Which leads me to my third point: Enormously large hearted thanks to theHaiku Judges, Masters of their Universes, King and Queen of their owncastles and both literary scholars at heart and in profession:

Professor X

Goddess of Power

++++++++++++++++++++++

AND NOW FOR SOME HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Now, these haikus did reasonably well and rated highly with some of thejudges. So, I thought I might share them with you:

My expectations

drop gently like snow amid

season replacements.

(By Mark)

J. Lo J. Lo J

Ben A. Ben A. Ben A. Ben

Oh, why do I care?

(By Ann & Dabney)

P3n!5 3nLARG3m3nt\

Nekk1d FarM G1rl L5 h0T 4 U

Ju5t OHhhhp3n th15 Ma1L

(By Mike, my brother. I am so PROUD!)

++++++++++++++++++++++

This week's horoscopes go out to:

Michelle Ertischek, thanks for judging

Bob Madison, thanks for judging (FYI: Bob has launched Dinoship, Inc., apublishing and entertainment company specializing in science fiction,fantasy, children's books, graphic novels and wonder products. Dinoship'sbooks and products have one purpose: to create a sense of wonder. Check itout: www.dinoship.com

Sally and Todd - goin' to the chapel and we're goin' getmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarried!

Lori and Audrey - can't wait for the drive up to Maine!

Kitty and Henry - can't wait to see you guys!

Saumya and Neena, thanks for helping me pick out my salwar kameez

Alex, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

Francine and Lynda, thanks for lending me the sewing machine

Mark, your emails light up my life, they give me hope, to carry on!

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