I am sitting here, eating my ½ off M&Ms. They were half off because they are the “Easter” versions of M&Ms. They are pastel and some of them even have bunny ears printed on them. It seems to me that even though they are seasonal in motif, they taste exactly the same as regularly priced M&Ms. I wonder if M&Ms go bad.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why is there an Easter Bunny? And why are chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks and hunting eggs part of the tradition? I hope it’s based on pagan rituals. Or aliens.
--------------------------------------------------------
And I am watching Will & Grace, even though it sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------
I am in the middle of jury duty. Today was the first day and I almost got chosen for a trial. I think my diversionary tactics worked. I didn’t look at the attorneys while they were talking. I stared at my fingernails a lot and I closed my eyes, feigning sleep while they were talking too. I did answer their questions honestly though.
So after seven hours of sitting on my ass, I got to leave. And tomorrow, I get to do it again!
There are only two good things about jury duty in NYC: (1) I got to see Sam Waterson and his fellow actors taping a scene for Law & Order. They were filming right outside the court house I reported to this morning. (2) Chinatown is right next door. Today I had Shanghai noodles. Tomorrow, Vietnamese Pho.
--------------------------------------------------------
yes, I said the deadline for haikus was March 31, 2005. Well, I am extending it to April 15, 2005. Please send all haikus to: girlladyfriend@gmail.com.
--------------------------------------------------------
I can’t write and watch tv at the same time.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Hello my name is Haiku and I like to write po-ems... (3/24/05)
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
Due by March 31 to girlladyfriend@gmail.com
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I apologize in advance if I have ever started talking to you and then slowly walked away without any resolution to the conversation. I never really realized I did that until I was chit-chatting with a neighbor in my building. He just moved in and we were just trading quick thoughts about something or other. Most probably about the crappy building we put up with because we are rent stabilized. Anyway, I thought our conversation was done and instead of me saying, “OK, nice meeting you, gotta go,” I just sort of walked away. How rude! I was obviously raised by wolves. They are nice, well-meaning wolves, but wolves nonetheless.
++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Cynthia
Annie of the raccoon eyes
Audrey F.
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
Due by March 31 to girlladyfriend@gmail.com
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I apologize in advance if I have ever started talking to you and then slowly walked away without any resolution to the conversation. I never really realized I did that until I was chit-chatting with a neighbor in my building. He just moved in and we were just trading quick thoughts about something or other. Most probably about the crappy building we put up with because we are rent stabilized. Anyway, I thought our conversation was done and instead of me saying, “OK, nice meeting you, gotta go,” I just sort of walked away. How rude! I was obviously raised by wolves. They are nice, well-meaning wolves, but wolves nonetheless.
++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Cynthia
Annie of the raccoon eyes
Audrey F.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Haiku me, Haiku you (3/18/2005)
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Thursday, March 10, 2005
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2... (3/10/2005)
At my Smokenders (http://www.smokenders.com/) meeting yesterday, a
classmate called me, "Little Miss Smart Ass." Yes, she did.
Now, usually, it takes about me about 4 weeks to really get the Smart
Ass in me out in a class setting. Seriously. But I guess I must be
in my prime because this was only in the 2nd class. What did I say
that made her call me "Little Miss Smart Ass?" Well, I'll tell
you...in a minute.
First off, I should explain what Smokenders is. [For those of you in
the know, entertain yourself by writing a haiku about toilet paper.]
Smokenders is a 6-week program that teaches you how to quit smoking.
It's like Weight Watchers for smokers. I could go into more detail,
but I won't. The important thing to know though is you are still
smoking for 4 weeks out of 6. Well, it is the most important thing
for me.
So, this woman, who we shall call Droopy Puss, was frustrated and
whining that her cigarettes didn't label how much nicotine was in the
cigarettes. Now, cigarette companies are only legally supposed to
label how much tar is in their cigarettes (as if that's any help).
They won't tell you how much nicotine is actually in their cigarettes,
because they don't want you to know how addicted to their crack you
are. So, she was whining (or for the U.K. folk out there, whinging)
for a while so I felt I had to turn around and let her know that there
is a 1-800 number on all packs of cigarettes. I actually showed her
where it was and Droopy Puss was very shocked and happy and
appreciative.
I thought that went well. But then the class went on.
During this week we are only allowed certain beverages while smoking
(and no, Bob, none of them are whisky, bourbon or gin). One of the
accepted beverages is orange juice. This other woman, let's call her
Leatherface, complained that orange juice is just too fattening to
drink and she couldn't do it. (Yes, almost everyone in the class has
a defeatist attitude, but what do you expect from a bunch of smokers
who are trying to quit?) The reactions/comments I had that I DIDN'T
share with the class were, "What the fuck? Orange juice is
fattening??? Just how much orange juice does Leatherface think she
needs to drink?" and "Leatherface has MAJOR food issues if she thinks
a glass of orange juice is fattening." Well, what I ended up saying
to her was, "Well, orange juice is better for you than cigarettes."
This got a laugh and agreement from the entire class, except for
Leatherface. I got the impression that she didn't find it funny.
By the end of the class, almost everyone had run out the door (after 2
hours, they all needed a cigarette). As I was leaving the room,
Droopy Puss was talking to the instructor. When I passed her, Droopy
said, "And I had no idea that there was an 1-800 number until Little
Miss Smart Ass told me..."
Well, bowl me over with a stick of salami!
(I don't know where I got that)
I was a little puzzled over my new moniker, but I have to say that it
is better to be Little Miss Smart Ass than Droopy Puss or Leatherface
any day.
******************************************
So for those of you who are keeping count, this is my 3rd time at
Smokenders. The first time was either 2000 or 2001. Smokefree for 1
year. Then started and smoked for 1 year. Then did Smokenders again
and quit for 1 year and then this August, started again. So this
time, I hope to make it stick.
******************************************
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Cynthia -- you WILL pass your exams, I GARRRAHHHNTEEE!
Kim & Ethan -- can't wait to see you!
Congratulations to Anjali and her groom!
Michelle E -- no, you're the best!
Graham -- Get over your phone phobia and talk to your aunt!
classmate called me, "Little Miss Smart Ass." Yes, she did.
Now, usually, it takes about me about 4 weeks to really get the Smart
Ass in me out in a class setting. Seriously. But I guess I must be
in my prime because this was only in the 2nd class. What did I say
that made her call me "Little Miss Smart Ass?" Well, I'll tell
you...in a minute.
First off, I should explain what Smokenders is. [For those of you in
the know, entertain yourself by writing a haiku about toilet paper.]
Smokenders is a 6-week program that teaches you how to quit smoking.
It's like Weight Watchers for smokers. I could go into more detail,
but I won't. The important thing to know though is you are still
smoking for 4 weeks out of 6. Well, it is the most important thing
for me.
So, this woman, who we shall call Droopy Puss, was frustrated and
whining that her cigarettes didn't label how much nicotine was in the
cigarettes. Now, cigarette companies are only legally supposed to
label how much tar is in their cigarettes (as if that's any help).
They won't tell you how much nicotine is actually in their cigarettes,
because they don't want you to know how addicted to their crack you
are. So, she was whining (or for the U.K. folk out there, whinging)
for a while so I felt I had to turn around and let her know that there
is a 1-800 number on all packs of cigarettes. I actually showed her
where it was and Droopy Puss was very shocked and happy and
appreciative.
I thought that went well. But then the class went on.
During this week we are only allowed certain beverages while smoking
(and no, Bob, none of them are whisky, bourbon or gin). One of the
accepted beverages is orange juice. This other woman, let's call her
Leatherface, complained that orange juice is just too fattening to
drink and she couldn't do it. (Yes, almost everyone in the class has
a defeatist attitude, but what do you expect from a bunch of smokers
who are trying to quit?) The reactions/comments I had that I DIDN'T
share with the class were, "What the fuck? Orange juice is
fattening??? Just how much orange juice does Leatherface think she
needs to drink?" and "Leatherface has MAJOR food issues if she thinks
a glass of orange juice is fattening." Well, what I ended up saying
to her was, "Well, orange juice is better for you than cigarettes."
This got a laugh and agreement from the entire class, except for
Leatherface. I got the impression that she didn't find it funny.
By the end of the class, almost everyone had run out the door (after 2
hours, they all needed a cigarette). As I was leaving the room,
Droopy Puss was talking to the instructor. When I passed her, Droopy
said, "And I had no idea that there was an 1-800 number until Little
Miss Smart Ass told me..."
Well, bowl me over with a stick of salami!
(I don't know where I got that)
I was a little puzzled over my new moniker, but I have to say that it
is better to be Little Miss Smart Ass than Droopy Puss or Leatherface
any day.
******************************************
So for those of you who are keeping count, this is my 3rd time at
Smokenders. The first time was either 2000 or 2001. Smokefree for 1
year. Then started and smoked for 1 year. Then did Smokenders again
and quit for 1 year and then this August, started again. So this
time, I hope to make it stick.
******************************************
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Cynthia -- you WILL pass your exams, I GARRRAHHHNTEEE!
Kim & Ethan -- can't wait to see you!
Congratulations to Anjali and her groom!
Michelle E -- no, you're the best!
Graham -- Get over your phone phobia and talk to your aunt!
Friday, March 4, 2005
One waved back! (3/4/2005)
So there is a certain division at my work that is notorious for its high number of shy, quiet people. And there is quite a high number of older, white-haired men in this group. Every time I pass one of them in the hall, they generally don't make eye contact or make any salutations whatsoever.
For the last three years, I have been making it a point to say hi to everyone, especially the older, white-haired men. It freaks them out and at first, they would just jump and keep on walking. Some would nod their heads. Slowly though, the ice was breaking. One would actually say hello back to me. Another would smile.
Well, we had a breakthrough yesterday. The top white-haired guy actually said hello to me without any prompting from me!!! I have always had to say hello first, but this time, he said hello first! I was totally floored. And oddly enough, it made my day :) I know, I liken these white-haired guys to gorillas in the midst. They are my personal field study. However, I truly believe that even if you don't know the person, you should still say hi to the people who work at the same place you do.
There is this company in my building which takes up three floors (or more). When they get on the elevator, people from one floor will not acknowledge the people from the other floor. Yet they all work together. Now, it could be said that the company is so huge that they can't know everyone. I could agree with that if it wasn't for the fact you know this person is getting on/off on a floor where you work! I mean, does it take that much energy to say hello?
For the last three years, I have been making it a point to say hi to everyone, especially the older, white-haired men. It freaks them out and at first, they would just jump and keep on walking. Some would nod their heads. Slowly though, the ice was breaking. One would actually say hello back to me. Another would smile.
Well, we had a breakthrough yesterday. The top white-haired guy actually said hello to me without any prompting from me!!! I have always had to say hello first, but this time, he said hello first! I was totally floored. And oddly enough, it made my day :) I know, I liken these white-haired guys to gorillas in the midst. They are my personal field study. However, I truly believe that even if you don't know the person, you should still say hi to the people who work at the same place you do.
There is this company in my building which takes up three floors (or more). When they get on the elevator, people from one floor will not acknowledge the people from the other floor. Yet they all work together. Now, it could be said that the company is so huge that they can't know everyone. I could agree with that if it wasn't for the fact you know this person is getting on/off on a floor where you work! I mean, does it take that much energy to say hello?
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
Notice something different? (3/2/2005)
I thought it would be best to send my horoscope email from a non-work email. It’s good to have a change, don’t you think?
I am also archiving old email horoscopes (sans horoscope) on my new blog:
http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
I will still be annoying you with weekly emails, but some people felt strongly that I should start a blog. You know how I hate to go mainstream, but such is. I succumbed to peer pressure.
******************************
So last week, I alluded to a toilet story. My friend, let’s call him Freeven, works in a law office (which is so wrong in so many ways) and, from what he says, the men’s bathroom is a danger zone. It should be cordoned off by the EPA. Seriously. It turns out that the toilets are low flow/flush and the guys like to do their “morning/afternoon/evening constitutions” there. Unfortunately, most of them flush and quickly flee from the scene, without noticing if there are any floaters (word of advice: always look back for floaters). Also, understanding the problems with corporate toilet paper, they tend to overroll and clog the toilets. So, most of the time, the toilets in the men’s bathroom at Freeven’s work are not working. And there are overflow issues as well. It just all sounds BAD.
******************************
Still haven’t chosen the judges, but I will get back to those who are interested.
In the meantime, where are your haikus????? :( I sit here waiting for them. Counting the minutes until I get your haiku.
To recap:
The 2005 (and 3rd) HAIKU CONTEST!
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper Deadline: By EMAIL, EXTENDED to March 30, 2005 Eligibility: The contest is open to the public (that means everyone). Corporate Toilet Paper Haiku contest officers who are members of the Judging Committee are not eligible.
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
******************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Cassie and Jon
Annie, Dabney, Ashley and Feidler
Steven and Alex
Sandy
I am also archiving old email horoscopes (sans horoscope) on my new blog:
http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
I will still be annoying you with weekly emails, but some people felt strongly that I should start a blog. You know how I hate to go mainstream, but such is. I succumbed to peer pressure.
******************************
So last week, I alluded to a toilet story. My friend, let’s call him Freeven, works in a law office (which is so wrong in so many ways) and, from what he says, the men’s bathroom is a danger zone. It should be cordoned off by the EPA. Seriously. It turns out that the toilets are low flow/flush and the guys like to do their “morning/afternoon/evening constitutions” there. Unfortunately, most of them flush and quickly flee from the scene, without noticing if there are any floaters (word of advice: always look back for floaters). Also, understanding the problems with corporate toilet paper, they tend to overroll and clog the toilets. So, most of the time, the toilets in the men’s bathroom at Freeven’s work are not working. And there are overflow issues as well. It just all sounds BAD.
******************************
Still haven’t chosen the judges, but I will get back to those who are interested.
In the meantime, where are your haikus????? :( I sit here waiting for them. Counting the minutes until I get your haiku.
To recap:
The 2005 (and 3rd) HAIKU CONTEST!
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper Deadline: By EMAIL, EXTENDED to March 30, 2005 Eligibility: The contest is open to the public (that means everyone). Corporate Toilet Paper Haiku contest officers who are members of the Judging Committee are not eligible.
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
******************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Cassie and Jon
Annie, Dabney, Ashley and Feidler
Steven and Alex
Sandy
Tuesday, March 1, 2005
Horoscopes past (3/1/2005)
Hi there -- I will be posting my old horoscope emails here, as well as new ones and other musings. I am going to try and do a quarter of a year at a time, which may take a while since I have emails going back to 2002. I lost all of my emails before 2002, but that's okay. Three years is enough to chew on for now.
XOXO
Michelle
XOXO
Michelle
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