Title thanks to Frim Frecker of Boulder, CO!
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So I started Nutrisystem yesterday. The food does not have to be refrigerated. Pretty scary, huh? It arrived in a giant box which was full of aluminum foiled packets and strange boxes with titles that said: BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, SNACK, DESSERT. I am not kidding. There are pretty photos of the food and they tell you what is inside, but just in case you forget which meal it is, they label it. And it is important because breakfast and lunch pretty much SUCK. I am liable to eat DINNER for all meals, but that would be counterproductive to the diet.
My only complaint about this program is the amount of dairy and fiber. On top of the food being chock full of fiber (my breakfast muffin had EIGHT grams of fiber!!!!!) and protein, I have to eat dairy twice a day, protein twice a day, salad twice a day, veggies at night AND a multivitamin twice a day. My body doesn't know what to do with itself. So instead of just quietly going along with this, it has revolted and is voicing its opinion all freakin' day. Yes, I admit it -- I am sooooo farty right now that i can't take it. I have had to make many a walk outside just to get some relief. That mysterious odor all over Manhattan last week? Yep -- that was me.
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The Bush Family wants to move W's papers and documents to Southern Methodist University in Dallas. However, some professors and students are against the idea. I think it would be a great thing -- he can't have THAT much stuff, I mean, come on -- it's George W. Can he read? There will probably be just a lot of audio tapes, most definitely of illegal wiretaping. Also, it could have the best motto on the building:
The George W. Bush Library: 10 Million Malapropisms Told.
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This week's horoscopes go out to:
Fraumya, CROCHET NIGHT!
Frichelle and Frasha, burgers are the way to go! And too bad about your couch, Frichelle
FRYVETTE! HAPPY BELATED!
Frike, Frennifer and Fraham, can't wait to see you this weekend!
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Check out your weekly horoscope at
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 18
Copyright 2007 by Rob Brezsny
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