I went to Peter Luger's [http://www.peterluger.com/] today with my friends Johnna, Yvette and Linda, and MAN, they serve some damn good meat. Tender, flavorful, just so good. It was a meat orgy: steaks, burger, shrimp AND Canadian bacon. It was so much food that six hours later and, to me, the idea of food is quite sickening. I think I even have a meat
hangover. Although, I might just have a bourbon hangover. Or a shrimp cocktail hangover. Or a cheesecake hangover.
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The REAL Truth About Women
Women have many hidden secrets. We are an illusive group. But I am opening the secrets to our world to you men now so that you can understand what we as a group go through to assimilate in today's society. Following are a few facts that you, as men, just never knew:
Fact #241: Bras have always given women shape -- from bulleted to inflated. The real truth however is that women's breasts are like flat, unfilled balloons that generally are 4 to 5 feet in length. We roll them up like a pair of socks to fit into the bra. We also use our breasts to carry our change and fly.
Fact #32: Women's leg hair is retractable. Similar to a cat's claw, we can lengthen and shorten our leg hair depending on any situation. If we like you, we will fully retract our leg hair. If we don't like you, we will fully extend our leg hair. For some women, this is vice versa. Our underarm hair is also retractable.
Fact #665: Women buy four to five times as many body/hair/skin products as men because we eat these products for nutritional purposes. The aloe and chamomile extracts provide us with the necessary vitamins to teeter in high heels for 16 miles straight, calculate the volume of a revolving rhombus in a tank of sea water, and travel through L-space.
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My friend Matt and his friend Dave have their own podcast called "The Matt & Dave Show." You can either subscribe to it in iTunes (podcast search keyword: dave & matt show) or go to www.daveandmattshow.com. You can subscribe to the podcast right from the show page.
As Matt says:
"The show is the same type of humor you'd hear when we were all in college, but now we're actually online with it. It's been really fun. Let us know what you think at feedback@daveandmattshow.com. If you really like it -- or even if you don't -- please vote for our show on www.podcastalley.com. Do a search on our show ("Dave & Matt Show"), and then vote for it. It'll make a difference."
So, check them out!
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This week's horoscopes go out to:
Yvette, Johnna and Linda, Two words: MEAT ORGY
Carey, Steven and Alex
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
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Check out your weekly horoscope at: http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of March 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
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