Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Lots of people smell like garlic lately

The weather in New York is really cruel. There was one summer where every weekday was sunny, warm and gorgeous, but every weekend was rainy and grey. And then there was last winter where we had grey skies for six months straight. That really made me insane. Now we just have cold, cold, cold, cold and more relentless cold. I guess I should be glad it isn't grey. But seriously, New Yorkers are known for their un-subtleties and now the weather reflects our je ne sais quoi too. Sigh. But I can't leave NY. Where else can you get Korean food 24 hours a day. I mean, besides Korea. Ok, LA, but come on! People are too tan there. And great bagels. Ok, I heard Montreal has good bagels, but come on, that's Canada!Speaking of crazy weather, the freak snow storm we had last night was also cruel. My office has this emergency phone number where you can call to check in and see if the office will be closed for the bad weather. Well, last night the snow was pretty fierce. And when I woke up this morning, I checked the tv news and a lot of schools were closed. My heart began to beat faster. I called the emergency line and NO! We are not closed. I called five more times. Each time, not closed. Why couldn't the storm hit this morning so that I can get a snow day? I am from FL - we NEVER had snow days. Sigh.On another note, while waiting at the bus stop, this woman was holding one kid in her arms and the other one, who was maybe 3 or 4 years old, was playing in the dirty snow that was recently plowed from the street to the sidewalk. And the woman just let her child dig her hands in the grey snow, when there was perfectly good white snow a foot next to it. I think children should only play with white snow. Snow with color just isn't right. Despite what you are thinking, I didn't say anything to her. She has two kids to wrangle. That's tougher than herding cats.

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My Canadian friend, Frobi, decided to critique my horoscope newsletters. I think she is trying to vent her Canadian inferiority complex. You know, Canada, despite being such a large country, is just considered an outcrop of the US. And those from Toronto all talk funny. You know, soorry aboot yoor prooojects. Case in point: From Frobi: Boooring. I like the trivia better. And the world heritage organization sites url was nice too. What about Chinese New Year? Why not something on that instead? The state of Michelle's psyche? The view from your office window? You yankees. All you ever think about are politics...So, to address this obviously frustrated Canadian:

1. I like trivia too. And the World Heritage site roocks. http://whc.unesco.org/nwhc/pages/doc/mainf3.htm

2. Yes, I forgot to mention Chinese New Year last week, but I did mention it the week before last. It's actually LUNAR New Year, as a lot of Asian cultures celebrate the hooliday. In Korea, to celebrate the New Year, we eat rice cakes (flat disks of rice pasta) in soup with mandoo (also known as wontons). Gives you good luck. The sooup is called Duk Mandoo Guk (phonetically pronounced "duck mahn doo gook"). Go out and try it today. Quite tasty and not spicy at all.

3. I have no window at woork. Thanks for reminding me, Goobi.

4. Well, that's why those Bostonians dumped the tea in the harbor (short info aboot the tea party http://www.pbs.org/ktca/liberty/chronicle/bostonteaparty-edenton.html; and where exactly was the tea party? http://jrshelby.com/btp/) -- some fat, racist, white Americans fought for the right to be heard. Now, everyone is heard and some more than others, which is unfortunately always the way. But you know what? Who is Gobi to criticize? It's not as if SHE is writing anything to me on a weekly basis. Come on, Gobi! Step up to the plate!

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Speaking of trivia, thanks to Frija, I found out about this web site, A.Word.A.Day (http://wordsmith.org/awad/index.html <http://www.Wordsmith.org> ). Every day a new word. Today's word isn't that obscure but I like the examples the site uses to show the word in context:

allocution (al-uh-KYOO-shuhn) nounA formal speech or address, especially one that exhorts.[From Latin allocution- (stem of allocutio), past participle of alloqui (to speak to), from ad- + loqui (to speak). Some other words derived from the same root are colloquium, elocution, soliloquy, and ventriloquism.]"And then he (the judge) invited us to say what we would--to 'make our allocutions'--before he rendered a sentence." Bill McKibben; Patriotic Acts; Mother Jones (San Francisco); Nov 1, 2000."(Noel) Gallagher gets started on this soapbox allocution because of Wal-Mart. He just recently found out the retail goliath balked at selling 'Standing on the Shoulder of Giants,' the 2000 album by Gallagher's Britpop band, Oasis." Doug Elfman; Oasis' Noel Gallagher Always Ready to Vent; Las Vegas Review-Journal; Apr 26, 2002.

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Speaking of Frija, I am going to Minnesota this weekend in the middle of this deep freeze to attend their annual Robert Burns party. See the invitation below:A'right! Howzitgaun?Ye's are no gonnie believe it, but wur haein' anither o' oor wee shindigs. Aye, wur back tae the verbal debauchery in celebration o' the baird's burthday. Aye, it's the Chapman Van Der Wege Burns Supper 2004.

Ye's may be wonderin' whit on earth a' the fuss is aboot. Weel, every year on or aboot the baird's burthday, Scots a' oe'r the world gather tae celebrate. Burns Suppers huv poetry readins, bletherin', speeches an' singin' (if fowks are blootered enough). There's dinner, an' drinks an' a', wi' plenty' or usquabae - the watter o' life - tae go aroon'. If fowks get really steamin' there could be jiggin' and reelin', but ah'll no be joinin' in.

We'll be ha'en a proper Burns supper, wi a' the trimmin's an' haiverin that goes wi' it. And aye, there will be Haggis! Ither options will be there fur those o ye's no' up tae the haggis, but all o' ye's wull be encouraged tae at least gie it a try.

Noo, the important bit. Ye's are a' expected tae join in! Bring ane o' yer Burns favourites, or if ye's are feelin' right brave, jist turn up an' we'll gie ye ane tae read. Noo, e'en this humble Scot expects tae muck it up right good and proper - readin' Burns isnae easy. So dinna fash yersels aboot it o'er much, we dinna want ye's tae get yersels in a fankle. We dinna want fowks a' scunnered and crabbit aboot it either. An' anyone kickin' up a fuss will be told to haud their wheest. Just gie it laldie an we'll a' hae a braw time.

The nicht will keep goin' until we're a' wabbit. We huv beds fur plenty o' fowks if ye's need them. Oh, and this is a nicht fur auld yins only - leave the weans at hame.So there ye's go. If ye's want tae come, just send us a wee note so we can keep track o' how many we need tae feed. Aw ra best fae noo!

Kevin & Mija

Oh, by ra way, if ye's are needin' a wee bit o' help thinkin' aboot whit tae do fur yer turns, these links might be o' some help.

http://www.robertburns.org

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

everything smells like pineapples

To those who are US citizens:HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? [ http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm ]

To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.

everything smells like pineapples

To those who are US citizens:HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? [ http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm ]

To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

you are getting sleeeeeppppppyyyyyyy.....

Aha - I almost forgot it is horoscope day! I am not feeling 100% today. That is why I think I started looking up the names for people who study certain things. For example:1) an ornithologist studies...?2) an ichthyologist studies...?3) an entomologist studies...?4) an etymologist studies...?And then I found this interesting web site of totally random and probably useless information.http://www.corsinet.com/trivia/j-triv.html====================================This week's horoscopes go out to:>> Jen B., thanks for my Librarian action figure!>> Ann and Dab, thanks for my Readymade (http://www.readymade.com/)!>> Mike and Jen and Graham, best of luck this week in NH and IA>> Bob and Russell, thanks for the grub!

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

I slept on my nose funny.

Happy New Year! Yes, I missed sending out last week's horoscopes but really, one week out of 52 ain't that bad. So Happy New Year to you all! Now get ready for the real New Year, this year's Lunar New Year is the Green Wooden Monkey Year, which falls on January 22, 2004. If you are in New York, then check out this site with the NYC celebrations. Also, if you are in NY and did not call me to say hi, then shame on you. http://www.chinatown-online.com/year/year.shtml+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My ROCK STAR friend Jen Giles is working at WBUR in Boston and produced the following segments. I meant to send an update before the segments aired, but of course, my mind is a lentil soup of disorder. So here are the links to her segments!http://www.theconnection.org/shows/2003/12/20031222_b_main.aspStanley MilgramIn 1961, a young assistant professor at Yale conducted what some say was the most important psychological experiment of all time. Stanley Milgram wanted to test the limits of authority in a supposedly civilized country to see just how much cruelty would average people inflict on their fellow citizens just because they were told to. In the famous electroshock experiment, 65 percent of the volunteers -- some of them clean-cut Yale men -- believed they were torturing Milgram's test subjects, and did so just because a man in a lab coat told them to. The famous experiment is still Exhibit A in every college psychology course. But what did it prove?http://www.theconnection.org/shows/2003/12/20031224_b_main.aspShoutout From On HighThe Roman Emperor Julian wasn't a big fan of the yodel. The sing-songy shout out that conjures images of mountain maidens with long blond braids reportedly irritated the 4th century ruler. In his short three-year reign he wasn't able to silence the many centuries, and styles, of yodeling that would come after him. What likely began as a communication means for cattle herders in the Swiss Alps has enjoyed some artful adaptations, from cowboy ballads and the blues, to rap and rock n' roll. And the story of the yodel's evolution from occupational past-time to cultural icon, and from the agrarian Alps to Appalachia and beyond, is as much about migration as it is about music. The hills, and our studio, are alive with the sounds of music.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:

>> My nephew Fraham, who is now 2 years old

>> Foliver, Fraula and Freven (but only a small dedication to Freven ;P), LOTR3 on IMAX!

>> Frfrancine and Frynda for allowing me to find my inner disco freak and what a wonderful brunch it was

>> Frann and Frabney and Fiedler

>> Frori and Frick, good to see you both!

>> Frim Freckscher Frecker, girl, thanks for the Picasso books

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Mmmmm -- tangy! (12/3/03)

> Subject: Mmmmm -- tangy!
> Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 10:39:37 -0500
> From: "PARK, MICHELLE"
>
> Hey - my head has stopped spinning! No more
> vertigo/inner ear imbalance! Thanks to all for you
> support :-)
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> I was always a Hellman's (or Best, depending on
> which part of the US you are from) mayonnaise
> person. Your basic mayonnaise - nothing fancy, rich
> tasting, and a very white food. Loved it with
> sandwiches, especially bologna. Fantastic in an egg
> salad. Perfect in tuna. You get the drift. So, I
> was a very loyal Hellman's shopper. And I hated
> Miracle Whip. Thought it was just nasty. Weird
> tangy chemical aftertaste. Freaked me out the first
> time I had it. I think I spit the food out because
> it tasted like it was past its expiration date - but
> nope, turned out it was Miracle Whip.
>
> But things change. People get older, tastes mature.
> And then you have Thanksgiving and all of this
> leftover turkey and these tiny dinner rolls (you
> know the ones, the enriched flour rolls made with
> butter and tons of preservatives?) and a jar of
> Miracle Whip. So you try it. And you fall head
> over heels in love with Miracle Whip.
>
> So, now, I am a convert. I can't believe I like a
> product that has registered trademarked the phrase
> "Tangy Zip." Did you know that Mayonnaise adds 11
> grams of fat and 0% Tangy Zip® and Miracle Whip®
> adds 4 grams of fat and 100% Tangy Zip®?
>
> And not only is Miracle Whip® a great "salad
> dressing" (per the label) it also has other uses:
>
> You can make a Miracle Whip Cake!:
>
http://www.vtliving.com/recipes/desserts/miraclewhipcake.shtml
>
> From http://www.chefnoah.com/tips/miracle_whip.htm
> Personally, you can do this with mayonnaise as well,
> but I think it is funny that this guy is using
> MIRACLE WHIP for this stuff. He must be using
> gallon jugs of Miracle Whip. [Of course, what is
> not funny is that this guy's web site offers
> information for disaster and emergency preparedness
> - including bulk food storage and cooking, and
> general information about chemical warfare. EEK -
> can I find them or what?]
>
> Condition your hair.
> Apply one-half cup Miracle Whip to dry hair once a
> week as a conditioner. Leave on for thirty minutes,
> then rinse a few times before shampooing thoroughly.
>
> Remove a ring stuck on a finger.
> Smear on some Miracle Whip and slide the ring off.
>
> Give yourself a facial and tighten pores.
> Miracle Whip helps moisten dry skin when applied as
> a face mask. Wait twenty minutes, then wash it off
> with warm water followed by cold water. (Michelle's
> note: EUW)
>
> Remove white rings and spots from wood furniture.
> Wipe on Miracle Whip, let stand for an hour, wipe
> off, and polish the furniture.
>
> Remove tar.
> Spread a teaspoon of Miracle Whip on tar, rub, and
> wipe off.
>
> Soothe sunburn and windburn pain.
> Use Miracle Whip as a skin cream.
>
> Remove dead skin.
> Rub a dab of Miracle Whip into your skin and let it
> for dry a few minutes. While the skin is moist
> massage with your fingertips. Dead skin will rub off
> your feet, knees, elbows, or face.
>
> Remove chewing gum from hair.
> Rub a dollop of Miracle Whip into the chewing gum.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>
> >> Irene, good luck and keep in touch!
> >> Jude, this isn't goodbye..yet
> >> Ann and Dabney, I am thankful for you - and
> Miracle Whip
> >> Saumya, thanks for checking in with me during my
> spin cycle
>
>
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>
> Free Will Astrology
> Horoscopes for week of December 4, 2003
> By Rob Brezsny
> © 1995-2003, Rob Brezsny
> www.freewillastrology.com
>
>
> Aries (March 21-April 19)
>
> British performance artist Mark McGowan was offended
> by the widespread international mockery of his
> country's cuisine. In protest, he decided to express
> his pride by turning himself into an English
> breakfast. A store near London let him live in the
> front window for 12 days, during which time he sat
> in a vat of baked beans with a crown of sausages on
> his head and a deep-fried potato wedge lodged in
> each nostril. In the coming week, Aries, the
> astrological omens suggest you should be as bold and
> imaginative as McGowan in support of your own pet
> cause.
>
>
> Taurus (April 20-May 20)
>
> If typical, you will make love about 2,500 times in
> your lifetime. But maybe only 25 of those encounters
> will offer this week's blend of physical rapture and
> spiritual breakthrough. I'm not exaggerating,
> Taurus. The cosmos is inviting you to be the
> recipient of a mind-expanding peak experience or
> two. To take maximum advantage, be as innocent and
> open as you dare. Find the place in you where lust
> and compassion overlap. (P.S. You don't necessarily
> need a partner to enjoy these gifts. If you're
> single, shed any shame you have about solo sex and
> explore its mysteries.)
>
>
> Gemini (May 21-June 20)
>
> Every poll I've seen asserts that far more women
> than men make use of astrology. It was only a matter
> of time before macho dudes discovered this and
> sought to exploit it. One such guy is Gemini Pat
> Burrell, a baseball player for the Philadelphia
> Phillies. In an interview in a men's magazine, he
> marveled at how much success he'd had on first dates
> by talking about horoscopes. In the coming weeks,
> his experience will apply to you -- only more so. No
> matter what gender or sexual preference you are,
> discussing astrology will be a surefire way to
> advance romance. For that matter, initiating
> conversations about any subject that gives a mythic
> flavor to intimate matters will stimulate the flow
> of sexy vibes. You might want to check out Skymates:
> Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology, by Jodie and
> Steven Forrest.
>
>
> Cancer (June 21-July 22)
>
> I'm worried you'll suffer an attack of shyness or
> modesty this week. Instead of pushing to get exactly
> what you want, you might dream up lame excuses to
> explain to yourself why it's OK if you don't get
> exactly what you want. Or you may be satisfied too
> easily and retreat to your hiding place before fate
> has a chance to bestow the fullness of its
> unexpected blessings on you. Please fight off this
> trend, Cancerian. Give your inner wimp a dozen roses
> and send your inner warrior out to collect your just
> deserts.
>
>
> Leo (July 23-August 22)
>
> Pop quiz! 1. You are so attractive these days that
> you risk rousing the envy of people whose support
> you need. True or false? 2. You now have the ability
> to change the weather merely by wiggling your
> eyebrows or wrinkling your nose. True or false? 3.
> Since you are so exceptionally fertile -- with an
> equal power to supercharge the growth of beautiful
> blooms and nasty weeds -- you will have to be very
> discriminating about where you point your mojo. True
> or false? 4. You are unusually susceptible to being
> manipulated through flattery. True or false?
>
> Virgo (August 23-September 22)
>
> The Chilean Congress has recently considered a bill
> that would mandate afternoon siestas for all
> workers. As a nap activist who has lobbied long and
> hard for everyone to get more dream time, I cheered
> this revolutionary proposal. Now I'm asking you,
> Virgo, to join me in the struggle to gain even more
> sleepers' rights. What specific action can you take?
> For starters, spend more time asleep and dreaming in
> the coming week than you ever have -- and don't let
> any workaholic, sleep-deprived cranky-head shame you
> for it. Your productivity will rise; I guarantee it.
> (P.S. The astrological moment is also ripe for you
> to rise up against the tyranny of Type A
> overachievers who think everyone should be as
> addicted to stress as they are.)
>
>
> Libra (September 23-October 22)
>
> Octopuses have eyes that can focus on two different
> scenes simultaneously. In some species one eye is
> specialized to see things in the murky depths while
> the other eye concentrates on sights in sunlit
> waters. I suggest you make this creature your power
> animal in the coming week. To keep apprised of the
> complex plots that will be unfolding around you in
> every direction, you will need the equivalent of the
> octopus's vision.
>
>
> Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
>
> For a mere $99.95, I could remove the curse you're
> suffering from. But I'd feel bad about taking your
> money when you could get rid of the damn thing
> yourself. In fact, why don't you do just that, and
> send yourself a check for $99.95? Here's all you
> have to do. Step one: Visualize an object that
> symbolizes the accursed influence. Picture yourself
> throwing it into a furnace. Step two: Visualize the
> person you feel is most responsible for the curse.
> Imagine that one end of a rope is tied around your
> waist and the other end around the person. Picture
> yourself cutting through the rope with a chainsaw as
> you call out, "You have no friggin' power over me!"
> Step three: Repeat steps one and two twice a day for
> 11 days. Step four: On the eleventh day, laugh so
> long and hard that you fall on the floor and cry
> tears of joyful release.
>
>
> Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
>
> Master astrologer Steven Forrest believes you
> Sagittarians often thrive on learning things the
> hard way. I agree. Here are my three explanations of
> why this is so. 1. One of your main tasks in life is
> to cultivate wisdom, and you'll never accomplish
> that if everything comes too easily for you. 2. To
> maintain your mental hygiene, you need to push
> regularly into the unknown, where the rules for
> success are as yet unwritten. 3. You are sometimes
> susceptible to being dogmatic, which can interfere
> with your ability to discern simple, obvious,
> up-to-the-minute truths. To shock you out of your
> tunnel vision, your higher self needs to trick you
> into making interesting mistakes.
>
>
> Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
>
> "Slashing through undergrowth and counting poop is
> an expensive, time-consuming, dirty, hot, and nasty
> business," said Dr. Richard Ruggiero of the African
> Elephant Conservation Fund. Quoted by Andrew Revkin
> in the New York Times, he was talking about studying
> forest elephants that are threatened with
> extinction. But I immediately thought of you when I
> read that, Capricorn. It's a good metaphor for
> what's happening in your life. An important and
> beautiful aspect of your animal nature is in peril,
> and the only way to save it may be for you to do
> work that fits Ruggiero's description.
>
>
> Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
>
> Psychotherapy obsesses on what's wrong with people
> and gives short shrift to what's right. The manual
> of the profession is a 943-page text called the
> DSM-IV that identifies scores of pathological states
> but no healthy ones. I often complain about this
> tragic fact and ask my readers to help me compile
> material for a proposed Anti-DSM-IV, a compendium of
> all the positive, noble, feel-good categories. One
> reader, Alka Bhargava, has suggested a condition
> that you Aquarians will be able to achieve regularly
> this week. He calls it "Joyful Poignance," and
> describes it like this: "The ability to be buoyantly
> joyful while remaining aware of the sadness,
> injustices, ancient wounds, and future fears that
> form the challenges in an examined life."
>
>
> Pisces (February 19-March 20)
>
> You might enjoy Pearl Cleage's novel Some Things I
> Never Thought I'd Do. It's got soulful characters, a
> strong social consciousness, and a dramatic mix of
> suffering and redemption. But you don't have to read
> the book to carry out the advice in this week's
> horoscope. All you have to do is write your own
> personal version of "Some Things I Never Thought I'd
> Do" -- a two-page stream-of-consciousness essay is
> fine -- and then go out and start actually doing the
> things you've described therein.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

TAX FREE HOROSCOPES! (8/23/03)

Oops - about to let another Wednesday go without a horoscope. With quitting smoking, my brain is finally coming out of the fog. But it’s been a very, very slow process. I don’t wish this process on anyone, well, anyone who doesn’t smoke. If you do smoke, do consider quitting. Although TERRIBLY hard, once you succeed, you won’t regret it.
However, if you don’t want to quit, then don’t. I don’t think anyone can force someone who smokes to quit. That person has to be damn well ready to quit.

========================
So, last week I asked the following:
It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.

Some of you answered:
-- NO I will to run down 5 flights in the wee hours of the morning to check out some action on the gritty street of the crack central. -- No, will not go out to check activity. likely to gawk from a safe window, or gawk at the site 3 days later!
-- If I heard gunshots outside at 3 am, I would look out my window and see if I could see anything. If I could see the trouble, I would definitely call 911. Otherwise, I would take my cell phone and go outside, cautiously. And then call 911 as I applied pressure to the bleeding person’s wound. :-)
I tend to be the kind of person who stops and gets out of her car to help at
an accident-if there aren’t already police or other a bunch of other people
helping. Or if a woman or family or decent looking guy is broken down on
the side of the road, I stop to offer my cell phone. Geez I sound like a
goody-goody. And I guess I kinda am. I like the feeling of helping
someone; it makes my own troubles seem less significant. But really it’s
that I like to be where the action is. I like the rush of crisis. So
there you go.
-- Running out into a gun battle without a gun -foolishness.

My answer: I would sleep through the whole thing. Once, when I lived in Greenpoint (Brooklyn) above the Greenpoint stop on the G train, I woke up to find my roommate dragging herself around the kitchen. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink. I asked her what was wrong and she said to me incredulously, “You didn’t hear the gunshots and commotion last night?” Nope. I sleep like a log. A giant sequoia with moss all over it. Turns out that there were gunshots in the subway around 1 AM and then cops and ambulances and fire trucks showed up outside out door. Or window really. We lived on the second floor.
And I didn’t hear a thing.

========================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
> The sun, for coming out and giving us one nice weekend this summer. It
was glorious.
> Ertischek, great seeing you
> Mark, thanks for the book!
> Mars, I want to be close to you, just you and nobody else but you!
> SUNITA AND GREG!!!! 4 MORE DAYS, 4 MORE DAYS!!!!! (They are getting
married on Sunday)

========================
Note: If you ever plan on sending me something, please do not send it to my home address, but rather my work address. As I have no doorman or super (i.e., I am very, very low on the NYC housing totem pole. I am a couple of levels shy of living in a cardboard box. Actually, I do live in a square-ish shaped apartment, but at least mine is in Manhattan, thus keeping me a little higher on the unreal estate scale), large mail is attempted, but usually is sent back to the sender. Now, this is not a plea for presents :) or a plea for empty boxes to be mailed to me. But just a note to let you know that I live in a place where I can’t get mail.Another note: just in case you don’t know, I changed jobs a year ago. If you need my new work phone/address, please let me know.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I love tomatoes (8/20/03)

I was talking to my Friendster Jeeyun (yes, I am a member of Friendster. It’s FUN) and she told me a tale of how someone she knows will run outside or look out the window if this person hears activity (such as sirens or shouts or gun shots) outside. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is—this person will go outside, down 5 flights of stairs, to see what is going on. One time, this person walked a couple of blocks to see a fire being put out.


This was in the middle of the night.


Now, I find this unusual behavior, but Jeeyun knows another person who heard gun shots one night and then went outside to see what was going on. There was a gun fight between some gangs and one person died. And Jeeyun’s friend saw this.


What would you have done? It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.

============================
I have been smoke free for five days! Congratulate me!

============================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>> ELECTRICITY
>> Mike, Jen and Graham
>> Jeeyun
>> Irene, Maggie, Jude, May, Kimeka
>> Carey and Steven
>> Michelle E.
>> Mark
>> Lori
>> Francine & Lynda
>> Ann & Dabney

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

I'm special, sooooo special..... (8/13/03)

Someone you know is turning 31 on Friday. She is quite pleased about this, but not jump up and down happy (see story below). However, time is relative and relatives are good in small doses. So, let's sing me the birthday song:
1...2...3...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE (MEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)


:-)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:

>> Mark - try and stay cool in London. Obviously the gods took someone seriously when they prayed for the rain to stop
>> Ertischek - congratulations on the condo!
>> Sandy - good luck with the painting!
>> Lori - thanks for the ring - Wonder Twin powers activate!
>> Lynn - Go, Lynn, Go, Mini-Tri Queen!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried this new exercise thing yesterday at my gym (yes, I actually worked out). It's called Urban Rebound. Basically it's aerobics on a mini-trampoline. The instructor was this tiny, cute, little compact girl.

She wasn't skinny small, more Tonka truck hard, really. Sort of scary cute. You know she was the captain of her cheerleading squad, smiling widely on top of the human pyramid or being tossed high in the air by big bulky guys who joined the squad to get chicks or there wasn't a gymnastics team at their high school so they joined cheerleading. She seemed to be the kind who would be encouraging one minute and in the next shouting "GO TEAM" in a terrifying roar.

Anyway, she assured me that the class would be easy on my knee (I have a bad knee - I don't know why, but one day, it hurt and then it got worse. Turns out I have a luxating patella. It's an injury that small dogs usually get), but a little hard to get used to. Of course, she said, go at your own pace. Which you know is license for me to slack off.

Well, you would think that bouncing on a mini-trampoline would be fairly easy. Well, you're wrong. It's quite intense as you are bouncing (not too high up, mind you. Your head is to stay level while your legs do this continually squatting jump), kicking your legs this way and that and flinging your arms this way and that. And then there are these intense short sprints where you go triple time. Well, other people went triple time. I went a little faster. I didn't keep in time with the music or the instructor or anyone else in the room. I was creating moves that no one else was or should be doing. I went at my own pace, laughing all the way.

Everyone was so serious. They were concentrating really hard on all of the actions and pushing themselves to be stronger and faster. But what made it all funny is that we were all on little trampolines, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. It was an intensely funny thing to watch.
I had a great time. I kept my own pace through the whole thing, sweating buckets all the way. The person next to me said it takes 3-5 classes to get the motions. I am going again. Why not? It's fun jumping on a trampoline.

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

I need to move to the equator (8/6/03)

> The New York Times
> August 5, 2003
> And the Forecast Is . . .
> By MICHAEL RUBINER
>
>
> Wednesday in New York : Rain. Heavy at times. Followed by periods of
> precipitation.
>
> Thursday : Lingering showers throughout the day.
> Chance of rain 800 percent.
>
>
> Friday : Moist. Damp. Sodden.
>
> Saturday : Rainish. Showery. Precipitacious.
>
> Sunday : Light rain followed by heavy rain followed
> by pouring.
>
> Monday : Unseasonably rainy in the morning.
> Uncharitably rainy in the
> afternoon. Unconscionably rainy in the evening.
>
> Tuesday : Endless showers broken up by occasional
> flooding.
>
> Wednesday : Remember “Waterworld”? Like that, only
> with more rain.
>
> Thursday : Not sunny. The opposite of sunny. Just
> forget about sunny, O.K.?
>
> Friday : Clearing just long enough for you to make
> weekend plans. Followed
> by obscene amounts of rain.
>
> Saturday : Take a wild guess.
>
> Sunday : Incessant, spirit-crushing rain. The kind
> of rain that makes it
> futile to get out of bed in the morning. The kind of
> rain that seems as if
> it will never end. And guess what? It never will.
> Ever. Do you understand?
>
> Monday : Please go away.
>
> Tuesday : Ample, brilliant sunshine throughout the
> day. Wait - did I say
> sunshine? I meant rain. Really hard rain.
>
>
>
> Michael Rubiner is a screenwriter.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> My sentiments EXACTLY. We survived seven months of
> cold, gloomy weather -
> snow, sleet, rain, rain, rain. And then we had
> about 1.5 months of sun.
> Moderate sun, mind you. Nothing to write home
> about. Well, maybe one
> letter. I have to say, I was ecstatic that we had
> any sun at all. And now
> this. All up and down the East coast. Rain,
> clouds, peeks of sun, rain.
> And humidity. I and my hair just can’t take it
> anymore. We are delicate
> flowers!!!! My house plants which don’t get much
> sunlight in the first
> place are drooping (and yes, I did water them).
>
> You know, I was reading Time magazine this week
> (yes, I have started reading
> the rag and no, I haven’t sent Ethan, the winner of
> the haiku contest, my
> subscription yet) and there was an article about how
> major cities actually
> create rain and bad weather. The heat absorbed by
> the buildings, black tar
> roofs, cement walkways, etc., warms up the air by
> 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit
> (-16.944444444444446 degrees Celsius). The heat
> rises, makes clouds and
> rain, etc., etc. The article suggests that
> buildings should you light
> colored sun reflecting paint or insulation on their
> roofs. Personally, I
> think all city dwellers should begin wearing white
> to reflect the heat.
> White should be the new black.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> Have you seen Spellbound? YOU SHOULD. Saumya
> Ramarao and I went to see it
> last Saturday and we both found it to be
> M-A-R-V-E-L-O-U-S and
> E-L-U-C-I-D-A-T-I-V-E. The movie tracks eight kids
> as they progress through
> regional spelling bees and make their way to the
> National Spelling Bee in
> Washington DC. These kids come from all sorts of
> backgrounds and cultures.
> Some put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed
> and others are pressured
> by their parents to succeed. Overall, the story
> really shows how kids in
> America survive. Definitely worth the $10 movie
> ticket price.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>
> >> Saumya
> >> Carey
> >> Francine and Lynda
> >> Holly

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Tip-toe through the hoo-hoos (7/30/03)

Have you been watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on Bravo? It's onTuesday nights at 10 PM EST and it is a fantastic show. BravoTV.com > QueerEye for the Straight Guy<http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/> I see men in awhole new light now. For example, things you (men) should not wear at all:

1) Seen on 57th Street, NYC: good looking guy, wavy short blond hair, goodphysique. Problem? The brown leather bomber jacket AND the black leatherpants (WITH PLEATS!!!!). Ruined the whole picture.

2) Also seen on 57th Street, NYC: Man wearing a black t-shirt with thewriting: FBI: Female Body Inspector. Yeah, that's going to get a lot ofhoo-hoos.So wrong, so wrong.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> Alex, Carey and Steven - good times

>> Jeeyun and John - good times

>> Sandy, congrats on the house and the job

>> Bob and Russell, have I told you lately that I love you?????

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

GREETINGS FROM FLORIDA (7/16/03)

HI ALL FROM JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA! I am here for thenext six days, ducking the mosquitoes and powershopping through the malls with my mom and dad. Spentan excellent couple of days with Annie Manubay and JenBrown in St. Petersburg. They actually got me out onthe golf course, which I thoroughly enjoyed, funnyenough. Of course, I didn't make it past the first 9,but 9 ain't half bad. Props to them. So, I hope you all have a good week and will talk toyou soon!

=========================
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France, by EricRayvid -- Eric gently reminded me that Lance iscycling to defend his yellow jersey for the fifthtime. Right now, he is in 45th place, but thatdoesn't mean anything at this point.
>> Jen Park, glad you like the shirt
>> Annie Manubay, Happy Birthday!

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Scratch this! (7/10/03)

I know I have mentioned this before, but I strongly urge you to register tovote. If you know you are going to be away for the 2004 PresidentialElections, then make sure you have applied for your absentee ballot. Youcan register at: www.beavoter.org <http://www.beavoter.org> . So get outthere and make a difference!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I just want to thank everyone who is on this newsletter list for yourenthusiasm and warm thoughts. From the haiku contest, I felt the love! Itruly did. I got a lot of great responses from you and it makes me veryhappy that you are all out there and some of you actually read this! That'sgreat :-) So, this week's horoscopes are dedicated to YOU.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This week's horoscopes also are dedicated to:

>> I was in lovely Maine this weekend for a wedding (Hey Todd and Sally!)and I got eaten ALIVE by mosquitoes. I wonder whether my blood is justtastier to them. Mosquitoes are seriously evil creatures. Vampires of thesky. I want to thank everyone who gave me anti-itch ointments and generalsupport through my ordeal.

>> Mike, Jen and Graham, for a lovely dinner

>> HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ALEX!

>> HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GOBI!

>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!

>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!

Wednesday, July 2, 2003

Wocka-doo, wocka-doo, wocka-doo [HAIKU WINNERS] (7/02/03)

NOTE: MY APOLOGIES IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THIS EMAIL TWICE.

=====================================

AND NOW THE RESULTS OF THEUNIVERSAL AMERICAN GRAND NATIONAL HAIKU CONTEST #2

FIVE TIE FOR SECOND PLACE

Listed in alphabetical order by first name:

Idle or Idol

Blue light shines on glazed pupils

Hypnotized by box

By Ann Manubay & Dabney Frake, Boston, MA

Comments:Yes! Death to television!

I like the focus on a type of media, and not a particular outlet

Damn you all to hell

Dubya, Cheney, and your pals.

Christian? Right. Should pray.

By Dan Cohn ("Pluto"), Washington, DC

Comments:Excellent!

The Fox News Channel:

blonde, lip-glossed, botox bimbos.

(Real Journalism)

By Erin Elizabeth Smith & Antonio Carlos DeFeo, Pelham Manor, NY

Comments:Yes!

Don't they all have blond bimbos?

Since when is blond spelled with an e?

Holy war, our way

Teaching patriotic hate,

Xenophobes have won

By Jonathan Bell, Los Angeles, CA

Comments:Ditto

Newspaper Headline:

Jayson Blair-Sign of the Times?

Leaves Black on our Hands.

By Nichole Peterson, San Diego, CA

Comments:

That is magnificent.

Ouch.

And now, for the winner....Drum roll please...This year's winner of the "Why I hate (or dislike) the media" haiku contest,who is not only the second winner ever of this contest, but also coincidentally married to the first ever winner of this contest, is......

THE WINNER, ETHAN DECKER!

Plane crash, seven dead

Pipe bomb, deadly virus, rape

Next: doggy salons

By Ethan Decker, Boulder, CO

Comments:

Clever

Excellent imitation of today's media

++++++++++++++++++++++

Michelle Park's comments:

First I would like to say thank you to everyone who submitted haikus and allof those who pointedly told me that they weren't creative enough or hadenough time to write a haiku. I would like everyone to know that althoughthere were a couple of songwriters in the contest, there were no haikumasters. Well, I take that back, there were a couple of haiku masters, butnobody who is a professional.

Second, I want to say, even though Ethan is married to Kim, the first winnerof the Grand Master Championship haiku contest (note: the first contest'stheme was poultry), there was no nepotism here because I didn't vote. Andneither of the judges knows either Ethan or Kim.

Which leads me to my third point: Enormously large hearted thanks to theHaiku Judges, Masters of their Universes, King and Queen of their owncastles and both literary scholars at heart and in profession:

Professor X

Goddess of Power

++++++++++++++++++++++

AND NOW FOR SOME HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Now, these haikus did reasonably well and rated highly with some of thejudges. So, I thought I might share them with you:

My expectations

drop gently like snow amid

season replacements.

(By Mark)

J. Lo J. Lo J

Ben A. Ben A. Ben A. Ben

Oh, why do I care?

(By Ann & Dabney)

P3n!5 3nLARG3m3nt\

Nekk1d FarM G1rl L5 h0T 4 U

Ju5t OHhhhp3n th15 Ma1L

(By Mike, my brother. I am so PROUD!)

++++++++++++++++++++++

This week's horoscopes go out to:

Michelle Ertischek, thanks for judging

Bob Madison, thanks for judging (FYI: Bob has launched Dinoship, Inc., apublishing and entertainment company specializing in science fiction,fantasy, children's books, graphic novels and wonder products. Dinoship'sbooks and products have one purpose: to create a sense of wonder. Check itout: www.dinoship.com

Sally and Todd - goin' to the chapel and we're goin' getmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarried!

Lori and Audrey - can't wait for the drive up to Maine!

Kitty and Henry - can't wait to see you guys!

Saumya and Neena, thanks for helping me pick out my salwar kameez

Alex, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

Francine and Lynda, thanks for lending me the sewing machine

Mark, your emails light up my life, they give me hope, to carry on!

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

Breathing is so underrated (6/25/2003)

So, I have bronchitis again. Therefore, I am going to take smoking cessation course called Smokenders to quit. I was successful for one year after that class. Of course, getting seriously angry made me relapse, but that's okay. This time I will work on quitting smoking and anger
management. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Please feel free to send me encouraging notes for the next two months while I go through this process. I will be successful again, dammit!

***************************
My friend Lynn is very funny; she sent me an email with the header:
"Oh My God, it's the sun!" She notes: I hope you're feeling better! And able to enjoy that big yellow thing that's been in the sky for 2 days in a row - I think they use to call it the sun. :o)

Thankfully, she reminded me what it was. I stared at the orb for a couple of minutes trying to figure out what that warmth-giving light was. And then I burned my corneas. They tell me it is still sunny out.

***************************
I have figured out what one major wrong thing in today's world. Yes, war, pestilence, hunger, they are all the things wrong in this world, but let's face it. War, pestilence, hunger and a lot of other bad things have been around since the beginning of time. What is wrong with TODAY's world is this: too many remote controls. We are in a modern age, the cutting edge of technology. The human race has made more technological advances in the past two hundred years than, well, ever. BUT we as a species can't work together (hence, the war, pestilence, hunger, et. al.) and make the technology work...

Hmm, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that we have too many remote controls. Since humans are egotistical and can't get along with one another, it makes sense that there are no universal remotes that will accommodate my TVs, VCR, DVD, stereo, and now, my air conditioner. If we can't centralize a measuring system (Isn't everyone else using metric? Or beans?), than how can I expect the electronics industry to make their products use some universal technology that will allow everything to be plugged into one remote system? I know that there are people out there who can centralize the remote system into one LCD screened remote (if you have seen the Osbournes, then you have seen Ozzy fight with that remote over and over again. BTW, did you see this week's episode? The new BMW Ozzy purchased uses voice recognition technology, but since Ozzy slurs his words, the car keeps asking him to repeat himself. Now, that's good TV), but that's too cost-prohibitive.

You know, the more I write, the more flaws I see in my logic. But what is surprising is that I refuse to go back and edit this. I am too lazy to go back and edit this essay to make sense. Which, you know, is also another flaw in the human race. That and electronics.

***************************
This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> The miracle of sewing
>> Harry Potter - I just got my book!
>> US Postal Service - for delivering my book
>> Mike, Jen and Graham, good luck in FL!
>> Sally, Audrey, Christer, Robin, Zoe - good times :-) See you in MAINE
>> Sandy, the house owner
>> Manisha - I spoke to Kate last night and found out - YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

There is a man with a ladder poking his head into the ceiling tiles. I wonder what he is up to... (6/11/2003)

Sorry this is a short one - thought up a great topic last night, but didn't write it down and forget what it was this morning. Oops. Lesson learned.

===================
The weather has been such a bitch this year. Cold and gray for six months straight and now it's sunny one day and gray and raining the next. Multiple personality disorder weather. At least it's not 40 degrees F in the day time. I guess we should all be thankful for small mercies.

===================
http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/
I am really amazed at what people do in their spare time. Check out this web site - haute couture for cats.

===================
Quick announcement: I don't remember my cell phone voice mail password;
therefore, if you called and left me a message last week, I am sorry I never called you back. Note to everyone: if you think of calling me on my cell, please do not leave a message :-) And please do not send me an email telling me how I can get my password. I know how to get my password. I just don't want to get it.

===================
HAIKUS Update: They are still being reviewed by the judges (and no, I am not telling you who the judges are).

===================
This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> Gillian and Lynn, who leave in August for new adventures (and to Lynn again for going to Italy for a year! Come si dice "house guest" in Italiano?)
>> SunAe and her friends Matt and Lee, excellent picnic!

Thursday, June 5, 2003

Happy brithday, happy birthday! (6/5/2003)

Thank you to all of you who submitted haikus. You are all very creative and inventive people. I am a little surprised how you stretched the word media into all sorts of directions. Which is exactly how I planned it. Excellent (I am channeling Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons"). Anyway, you should all hear very soon re: the winners. I am not judging, but some of my
close, personal friends are. So bribes are welcome.

*********************************************
I am dedicating this week's horoscopes to my brother, Dr. Mike, renowned vascular surgeon at Columbia. If you ever need something vascular worked on (deep vein thrombosis, carotid artery stenosis, gangrene, etc.), he's your man.

My brother and I used to fight all them time. The entire neighborhood could hear us yelling obscenities to each other from the time we were children. We finally grew out of it and now we are good friends. Of course, he has this bad habit of looking at some new electronic device of mine and saying,"You don't need that, do you?" But that's what brothers are for. I will always cherish those wrestling matches, water fights and his scaring me with stories of ax murderers loose in the neighborhood (and of course, the ax was "missing" from our garage). Ahh, good times.

So here's to you, my brother! Happy Birthday!

Love, your sis

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Bring out your haikus! (5/28/2003)

Last call for haikus: all haikus are due to girlladyfriend@XXXX.XXX by June 3, 2003. Submit as many haikus as you want! Guidelines below:

++++++++++++++++++++++++
[guidelines deleted]

----------------------------------------------
This week's horoscopes go out to:

>> Mike, Jen and Graham, thanks for the hospitality
>> Carey and Steven, thanks for the hospitality
>> Alex, welcome back to the Big Apple
>> Michelle E., thanks for the support

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Haiku, Haiku, my wonderful Haikus... (5/21/2003)

YOU HAVE ONLY 14 DAYS LEFT TO SUBMIT YOUR HAIKUS!!!!!

Now, for those who have forgotten what this contest is about:

SEND THEM TO: girlladyfriend@XXXX.XXX

THEME: Why I Hate (Some) Media

REMEMBER: 5-7-5 metric format

FOR INSPIRATION:
>> Spamhaiku.com http://www.spamhaiku.com/spamhaiku/site/index.html
-- a site dedicated to Spam, a worthy luncheon meat.
>> One person's version of haiku http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/
but still interesting
>> iSciFiStory.com
http://www.iscifistory.com/scifaku/elements/periodichaiku.asp
--
This site has a Periodic Table of Haiku. However, please note that they do not use the tradition 5-7-5 haiku format. And to be eligible in this contest, you must use the 5-7-5 format.
>> Haiku Movie Reviews http://www.igs.net/~mtr/haiku-reviews/
Quite brilliant

**********************************************
The following haiku is from Barbara, who had her physics final last
Friday. So nonetheless, hating the media was not top of mind. But despite her
F=m*a craziness, she wrote a physics haiku:

Gravity pulls me,
Textbook equals mass times thought.
When is vacation?

I believe this applies to all my friends who are experiencing or have
finished exam hell. Good luck to you all!

**********************************************
My co-worked, Mary Alice, is going to New Zealand. And if that isn't cool enough, she is going to Zorb. What is Zorbing? Check out this link. www.zorb.com Well, for those not on a DSL, I will give you the dictionary definition of Zorbing (they say it is in the Concise OED, but I don't know whether I believe that or not): (n) a sport in which a participant is secured insidean inner capsule in a large, transparent ball, which is then rolled around the ground or downhill. Origin 1990s: invented word from zorb (the name of the ball used in this activity).

Now, I want go Zorbing too - but it's not in the US yet. Anyone else wanna go with me to another country to try Zorbing?

**********************************************
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:

Lori -- HI
Steven - HI
Nichole - HI

Thursday, May 15, 2003

WHERE ARE YOUR HAIKUS??????? (5/15/2003)

SEND THEM TO: girlladyfriend@XXXXX.XXX

THEME: Why I Hate (Some) Media

REMEMBER: 5-7-5 metric format

++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen, Mike and Graham -- thanks for dinner AGAIN
Bob, Russell and Steven -- let's not see a movie at 10 AM again
Sunita and Audrey -- Chennai was great -- let's do it again
Eileen -- I haven't seen you since New Year's -- where the hell have you been?
Kate, Jeff and Abby -- I am thinking of you and your new visitor! Let's call him Gallahad.
Cassie -- for truly inspiration haiku, you are spunk.