Lookey what happens when I actually plan ahead... (12-14-06)

BEST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: He was naked, on crack and in alligator's mouth

Contributed by Ashlee


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My friend Mike C. is a member of a beer pong group called the Mudbutts (don't ask). Well, Mike and his pals are actually making it up the beer pong ranks and making a name for themselves. They are actually going to the Beer Pong Nationals in Vegas. So let's hear it for the Mudbutts (euw)!!!!!!



+===========================+
You know, I forgot to mention that the same weekend my door was being bashed in by the NYC fire department, my father's office was broken into by banditos. No, not banditos, but someone or some people who had a grievance with my father. We think it is someone with a grievance because all they took were the TV, DVD, computer and children's vaccines from the Vaccines for Children program. Weird, huh? They didn't take the prescription pads. They didn't take the medication samples in the locked (which they opened) closets. They didn't take any of the other electronic equipment. Just a couple of things...AND SOME VACCINES. So strange. But I figure that people in FL are just generally strange because it's so hot down there and people marry their first cousins...

+===========================+
And now from our sponsors....

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+=======================+
MOGO:
Check out Annie and Dabney's Web site for great gift ideas! http://www.mogogoods.com/
+=======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Russell and Bob
Annie, Dabney and Fiedler
Nichole
Sandy
Sasha, Tasha and Minnie
Lisa D and Christine G
+=======================+
Check out your horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 14, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

A door perchance to lock!

Finally, the door is final! Of course, it's primed and needs to be painted, but I finally have a deadbolt on the door!!! Deadbolt and chain lock! YEA!

Better late than never

So my landlord has installed a new door (2" smaller than my previous door) and plastered everything up. (I am convinced that my entire building is now just made of plaster. Everytime there is damage, they just plaster it up. I bet you my apartment was 20 square foot larger when the building was first built, but the plaster has just made everything smaller. Soon, I will have to crawl through a plaster tunnel to get into my apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if that really did happen. However I am rent stabilized so I don't really care that much.)

+====================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Annie and Dabney
Ashley and Dave
Jen and bro Bill
Fiedler
Bob and Russell
Yvette
Happy Birthday D and Matt!

+====================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 30, 2006
By Rob Brezsny

Fire

I came home early from Boston Thanksgiving 2006 because I wasn't feeling well. There was fire department tape surrounding the deli and building next door. Obviously there was a fire there. All the lights in the building were out and there were boards in some of the windows and some glass over the sidewalk. Pretty scary.

I didn't think anything of it considering my building looked okay. Until I walked up to my apartment and this is what I found:



It turns out that the fire department bashed through my door to get into my apartment. They wanted to get in and make sure that my building was okay. So they punched some holes into my wall to see if the fire had jumped into the walls of my building.



Thankfully, no fire in the walls.

A turkey's ride home

The turkey was feeling frisky and a little chilly. He was looking for adventure.


So Ashbloem took the Thanksgiving turkey for a midnight ride.


Annie said goodbye.


Fiedler watched.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

remember this hair? girlladyfriend: Hair Before

Well, here's the new look...

I spy with my little eye...an old lady (11-15-06)

I met up with Lynn (also commonly known as Frynn) in RIDGEWOOD, NJ! Sunny Ridgewood, NEW JERSEY! I took a BUS from Port Authority, and I entered NEW JERSEY. Why? All because of pancakes. Yes, pancakes. The Country Pancake House is a destination I have wanted to go to since I read Robyn's review of the Country Pancake House on her blog. That and I REALLY like pancakes.

Here is a photo of my pancakes:




They were REALLY big. REALLY BIG. overall, they were good. The syrup was not so great, but the pancake was still good. Would I travel all the way to Ridgewood again for them? Maybe. Definitely for the company. And I would be willing to try the pancakes again.

What was really interesting about Ridgewood is its quaintness -- town square, shops surrounding the square, post office building where the local postman really went postal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_postal#Ridgewood.2C_New_Jersey_in_1991 ), and the loads of aimless teenagers who had nowhere to go and nothing to do.

It was amazing -- all of these teens or tweens with no car and no money and nowhere to go. And boy, were they loud and so in love with their voices. And very exuberant. VERY exuberant. Reminded me of ME in jr/high school. Although in Jacksonville there is nowhere to congregate...other than Bennigan's! My friends and I were regularly kicked out of that place. However, I feel no remorse. Why should I? I paid the price last weekend dodging the tweens who were cavorting in groups trying to out yell each other.


+=============+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Dabney & Diane, Happy Birthday!!!!
Cynthia, glad you made it back safe
lil' Henry, get well soon!
Lisa, hey!

+=============+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 16, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Aye and then there is the fightin'...and the stealin'...and the drinkin and fightin'...and the kebabs... (11-9-06)

I got a flu shot today and my arm is SORE. I think the nurse dug that needle around, back and forth. She sure wanted to make sure that the vaccine got in there.

I am a strong proponent of the flu vaccine. The more people get it, the less I will get sick. I am so sick of your poor hygiene. You really gross me out. Who am I speaking to? Everyone! Everyone who doesn't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. Everyone who sneezes a wet sneeze into their hands and then grab the subway pole. Everyone who picks their noses on trains. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Did you know the CDC has a weekly flu report? Aren't you glad you don't have to write it?

Weekly Report: Influenza Summary Update

Week ending November 4, 2006-Week 44
Synopsis:

During week 44 (October 29 – November 4, 2006)*, a low level of influenza activity was reported in the United States. Eighty-four (4.8%) specimens tested by U.S. World Health Organization (WHO) and National Respiratory and Enteric Virus Surveillance System (NREVSS) collaborating laboratories were positive for influenza. The proportion of patient visits to sentinel providers for influenza-like illness (ILI) and the proportion of deaths attributed to pneumonia and influenza were below baseline levels. One state reported regional influenza activity; two states reported local influenza activity; 12 states and the District of Columbia reported sporadic influenza activity; 34 states and New York City reported no influenza activity; and one state did not report.
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
FIEDLER - if I could give you a kidney, I would

And to:
Cynthia - I sure hope you were able to find the right bus out of Charles de Gaulle.
Whoever fired Rumsfeld
Neither Britney or K-Fed - I am soooo sick of both of them

+======================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 9, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

You know it's time to leave New York when...

This morning, there were a lot of police in my subway station. I didn't get it until I saw a guy wearing a NY Medical Examiner's office jacket. Then I looked down. Yes, dead person in a body bag. DEAD PERSON. IN A BAG. Of course, this being New York, everyone looked and moved away. I too looked down, looked at the police and moved away. I stared to see what everyone else did, especially when a train came in and let people out near the dead body. Well, most people didn't even look. They just scuttled aside to get where they were going. Craziness.

MEATBALLS FOR EVERYONE! (11-3-06)

My friends are amazing. Bob and Russell are traveling in Burma or Thailand. Dabney is selling crafts in Milwaukee for mogo. My friend FRYNN works for SOME GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT.

And now I hear that my friend Tasha is a hula instructor!!!!!

See message below and if you live in the NYC area, join up! Let me know if you are interested. (I hula'd that entire sentence)

-------------------

aloha everyone,

just wanted to let you all know that i will be starting my polynesian dance class again next week! i will be teaching 2 classes a week (each 1.5 hours), hula at 7pm on tuesdays and tahitian at 11am on saturdays.

the classes will be held at lovingood wellness center on Franklin btwn Lexington & Greene. it is a REALLY nice studio space with a mirrored wall, so that you'll be able to watch yourself as you learn. the first class will be on tuesday, nov 7th.

+==================+
DVR has changed my life. My cable company has a TiVO knock off and let me tell you -- I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I used to tape all of my shows. Not that there were that many, but there were repeats: CSI, Gilmore Girls, Venture Bros. But now, NOW, I can record two shows AND watch a previously recorded show. IT'S INCREDIBLE. My TV time is now efficiently spent watching the shows I want to watch instead of flipping through the 3,000 channels.

Wow, I re-read that paragraph and I can't believe how excited I am about this. BUT I AM!!!!! Now I am going to watch Oprah from last week.

+==================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Sandy - promise to call you back!
Cynthia - so, how was Paris?
Ertischek - uh, where are you?

+==================+
Checkout your weekly horoscope at:
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 2, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Bourbon and ginger ale, please (10-30-06)

HOLLAWEEN

My friends Ann and Dabney host an annual Halloween party called Fright Pint. Last year was the first year and they were sushi. (I was Bob Ross) This year, A, D, Jen B. and I decided to make a group costume. It took us forever. Finally, A&D came up with a great idea. Can you guess what we are???



BTW, I am not that short. I was scrunching down to make the sizes different. Really. No REALLY.

Needless to say, making these costumes was drama at its highest. A, D & J made the skirts and aprons. And then the next day they stared at me to "make it work." Luckily, we all pulled together...
(we meaning D & I, while J&A were doing this)


and made it work a la Tim Gunn.

At the party, we had the Suicide King and Queen of Hearts:


And Dot and Patty Trailer-Trashe


Good times, good times.

For a complete story, see A&D's or Ashbloem's posts.
+====================+
Anyone in NYC want to quit smoking? If so, let me know.

+====================+
I have been working, working, working, and now have 13.75 vacation days left. Can you believe it? Last year I had 24 vacation days and 12 sick days and I used every last one of them. But this year -- I came in with 18 vacation days and I have 13.75 days left. What is that about? When did I become a workaholic? Of course my friends would say that I have always been one, but that's not true. When I don't want to, I won't. However it turns out I do want to and I have too many vacation days and not enough time to take them. But my work has a "use it or lose it" policy. So, I better start soon. I think I will plan hanging out and catching up on the sleep that I have been missing this year. And get my haircut.

Yes, I am going to spend my vacation time doing nothing. I can't wait.

+====================+
you know, it is virtually impossible for me to take a picture without making some weird face. Exhibit #1 is the hair shot below.

Exhibit #2


Exhibit #3


+====================+
This email goes out to:
MIKE, PAUL, FRANCOIS and SUN AE -- Rocky Horror next time
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, LORI AND KIM
BON VOYAGE, ROB and BUSSELL
ANN, DAB, JEN B. and Mr. Fiedler

Hair Before

I haven't cut my hair since May. That is the longest I have waited before a haircut. I thought I would take a before shot. My haircut is tomorrow night, yes HOLLLLAWEEEEN.

One time in Vegas...

As I said, those evil microbiologists infected me while I was in San Fran. So right when I was getting a leetle bit better, I had to go to Vegas for work. I took all precautions:



My first moments in Vegas, I met up with Annie's parents and aunt. We shall call them the Annies:

Here is Dad Annie:



Here is Mom Annie:



Here is Auntie A:


We ate at Salo Salo, a fantastic Filipino restaurant in Vegas:



There we had (BTW I am doing this to torture Annie -- look at the wonderful fooooooooood, Annie):

Pansit


Sour Chicken Soup


Fried Calamari



Spring rolls


We also had bbq beef and chicken adobo fried rice and some other dishes. It was amazing.

We capped off the meal with this. Can't remember the name, but they are bananas wrapped in spring roll wrappers and deep fried with purple mountain sweet potato ice cream:



BIG THANKS to the Annies!!!




Much love, Annie's "Fawn"

I am craving cream of wheat.

HOLLA! Yes, it's been a month since I last wrote, but it's been a jam packed three weeks. I was really lazy and then really busy and then really sick and then really busy again. And jet lagged.

So what was I up to? I went to San Francisco at the last minute for the American Society for Microbiology's 46th Annual Interscience Conference on Antimicrobial Agents and Chemotherapy (ICAAC). There, I ate my first banh mi, which was super. Pork banh mi. yummmmmmmmy.




Then I had the best burger I have ever eaten. At Zuni Cafe. Also had the restaurant made anchovies and pickles. YUMMMMMY.








I think though that the microbiologists infected me with their test viruses because I came home with a stomach virus. That was gross. Everything came out. Even water wouldn't stay in. It was horrible. Those evil scientists really did something to me.

And once I got better I went to Las Vegas. That is Adult Playland. I immediately knew that it was going to be a different kind of trip when three goombahs wearing track suits and giant flashy watches were laughing and talking about how much fun they were going to have. THEN I saw David Blaine. YES, the boy in the bubble. The man who froze himself. like a popsicle. Well, he was waiting to get onto MY Jetblue flight. And he sat in the middle seat. Of course, after floating around in your own filth for a week, sitting in the middle seat is no big deal.

And while in Vegas, nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

+==============+
I did get a sunburn on my lips. They blew up like tires.


+==============+

This week\'s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN-IN-LAW!
HAPPY RECOVERY RUSSELL!


+===============+

+==============+

Checkout your horoscope at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of October 12, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

WILL MIRACLES NEVER CEASE?????

Lotion Gives Mice Tan, May Be Cancer Shield. By Gareth Cook. A lotion that tans the skin without exposure to sunlight could provide a novel way to prevent skin cancer, scientists at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Hospital Boston announced Wednesday. (Boston Globe, 9/21/06)

I HEART RODEO MONKEYS (9-15-06)

This rodeo monkey, Whiplash, has won a special place in my heart.

Check out this video of the rodeo monkey who has stolen my heart. I CAIN'T QUIT YOU!


+==============================+
Goombah is a wonderful word.
http://wordsmith.org/words/goombah.html

And it turns out that there is a female version of the word as well:

Goomah (or comare)
http://www.hbo.com/sopranos/mobspeak/

+==============================+
I got nothin' this week. Absolutely nothin. The weather sucks here in New York. F*ckin rain, rain, rain. Fall has hit with a vengence. They wiped out Summer and dumped her in the Meadowlands with cement shoes.

+==============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
My goombahs and comares! MWAH, mafioso style!
Mike, Jen and G - have a great time in HI! Bring me back a really cool bobble head hula girl for my desk too!

+==============================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 14, 2006
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.

Meow Meow

Is there anything better than anthropomorphizing animals? Meow meow of course not!

My gals made it into TIME OUT NEW YORK!!!

Annie and Dabney of mogogoods.com are highlighted in this week's issue of Time Out New York!!! Their awesome cell phone cleaner ($6) is highlighted in "10 bucks well spent."

I AM SO PROUD!!!

Here's the awesome photo of the fantastic goods:



Big thanks to the Marthas for flagging this for me!

Yah, yah, Martha A., I am still alive...

I have been hanging out with my momma and poppa in La Floreeeeeda. It's been a slow week. I pretty much wake up around 7. Have some coffee. Watch the Today Show, Kelly & Regis, Price is Right and then have lunch. Maybe some shopping in the afternoon as this is still my mother's favorite sport. Then dinner. Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. And then pass out in front of the TV. Ah, Florida.

I come down here to spend time with my parents and aid/abet/enable their child-like inability to do things for themselves.

No, that's not entirely true. Most of the time they do take care of situations themselves, sometimes like adults, sometimes like children. The real problem is that they can't talk to customer service reps or schedule anything without most of the time having communication breakdown (situations have been known to escalate to yelling matches). Really, 99% of customer service reps do not know how to communicate with people who don't speak English well. And for many years, I have taken care of finding out what the problem or deal is. For my parents. I am the Translator.

So, since I have been down here, I have:

- Ordered a digital phone/cable/internet package;
- Checked in with the building company re: status on the year-and one-month-long installation of kitchen cabinets;
- Scheduled the building company to come and re-do items they promised to do, including caulking and painting cracks in t0e house's facade and determining why the garage door is two inches shorter than the other doors in the house;
- Scheduled the cleaners for the next month;
- Scheduled and oversaw the fixing of the kitchen refrigerator (the repair person broke the light cover -- and has to send us another one. We'll see when THAT happens. I will probably have to take care of that the next time I come to FL);
- Scheduled, met with and met again with the curtain designers who will be making curtains for two bedrooms and custom cornices for two rooms;
- Called my father's insurance company to find him answers to several questions;
- Researched the problem with some claims on my mother's insurance;
- Hooked up the printer to my father's computer and moved around several wires that he felt were in the way;
- Scanned my mother's computer for viruses.

I am sure there were some other items, but I can't remember them just now.

What a vacation.

+==============================+
I have also been having fun with my mom. We enjoy each other's company. We nag each other. We shop. We love. It's all good. Here are some photos of us hanging out this week:

Mom at California Pizza Kitchen


Me at CPK


Wearing the same Talbot's shirt in the Talbot's dressing room (my mom lurves Talbot's)


Good times....

+================================+
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:

>To my lovely friends who annoyingly like to call me while they are in the midst of their commute: Ertischek and Dr. Sandy; I know they mean well, but how come you guys always call while I am in the middle of pooping or something equally as important?
> 糖菓旅行, Marcy and Alex!
>Tasha, who needs a job -- anyone looking to hire a fantastic, detail-oriented smartie with personality? Let me know

+================================+
Check out your weekly horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 7, 2006
By Rob Brezsny

I have become obsessed with clouds

Hurricane season in Florida always brings the most amazing cloud coverage...

Crazy Florida Weather

Currently in La Florida with the folks and this is the beautiful cloud cover that occurs during hurricane season...




And over to the right...

I know what I want to be for Halloween

ZUPPERI ZUPPERI ZUPPERI

Ok, it turns out the the video from a previous post was actually a mock video of this actual commercial for Glico's Pretz. The mock video was actually a porn star making fun of the Pretz commercial and unfortunately is no longer available on YouTube.

What a funny world we live in.

OMG my favorite

And something complete random.

Running down memory lane

Weekend in Vermont

Following is a photo montage of my Saturday in Vermont. I was there on Friday and Sunday too, but Saturday was particularly stellar. Much thanks to Annie, Dabney, Al, Leondra, Evan and of course Fiedler!

New England Still Life

You have to love New England -- the changing leaves, the rolling hills, the jalepeno & aged cheddar chips...

You know it is going to be a good day when you have an everything bagel egg and ham sandwich, large cup of joe and a bag of chips just waiting for you.

Saturday in Vermont -- I think it was the 26 of August...

Sailing, sailing over the lake blue.... who knew there was such a nice, big lake in VT?
Me enjoying the sunshine
Annie and Cap'n Al

Dabney and Leondra