I have been told by my boss lady that I have been sorely remiss with
my horoscope duties. So, here's to you, Lisa (plus one)!
+========================+
Chronicles of an MTA strike victim
Monday, 12/19, 11:30 PM
Instead of watching the news to see if the strike is on, I finished
watching "Futurama" on Cartoon Network. Love that show. Stupid FOX,
always cancelling the good shows (Futurama, Arrested Development) and
keeping the stupid ones (Stacked, Trading Spouses: Meet Your New
Mommy). I knew the strike was going to happen on Tuesday. I could
feel it in my bones.
DAY 1 OF THE STRIKE:
Tuesday, 12/20, 3 AM
Horrible nightmares.
Strike is on.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:30 AM
Listen to NPR and am afraid to turn on the tv. The media hysteria has
begun. Go back to sleep.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7 AM
Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 7:15 AM
Have to walk to work. Hit snooze.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9 AM
Leave the house, bundled up and wearing the sneakers. Am an hour
late, but so is the rest of the city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:05 AM
Everyone is cheery and smiling even though it's freezing cold and they
just walked here from Queens. Gotta love this city.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:15 AM
Go to Duane Reade and buy stupid stuff.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:30 AM
Go to Starbucks and buy an apple cider. Realize that their cider is
just a cup of apple juice (from a gallon jug that is sold at the
grocery store for $3) that has been steamed. Cost: $2.50. RIPPED
OFF.
Tuesday, 12/20, 9:45 AM
Buy an artery cloggin breakfast as I have walked 2 miles in the cold.
I feel I deserve a break today. Unfortunately, McDonald's is jam
packed with others who walked and felt they deserved a break too.
Went to the deli next door instead.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10 AM
Realize that it takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work by subway, 35
minutes if I walked without stopping, and 1 hour + by walking and
stopping and shopping.
Tuesday, 12/20, 10:15 AM -- 6:45 PM
Do the work of three people. However, just happy to be indoors after
that cold walk.
Tuesday, 12/20, 6:45 PM -- 9 PM
The walk home is much longer than that walk to work because the stores
are open in the evening. Shopped my way home. Vow to not stop during
my walk tomorrow.
DAY 2 OF THE STRIKE
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:30 AM
There is still a strike. Another reason to sleep in some more.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9 AM
Start walk to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:15 AM
Ohhh, Sharper Image is open. Need to check on something.
Wednesday, 12/21, 9:30 AM
Not what I wanted. Oh, Brookstone is open... no, have to get to work.
Wednesday, 12/21, 10 AM - 6 PM
So busy!
Wednesday, 12/21, 6:10 PM
Line going out the door at Grand Central -- with no public
transportation, we have changed this uber modern city into a gulag.
It takes 3 hours to get to NYC by train from Brooklyn. Someone said
to me that they stood in line for 45 minutes just trying to get out of
the PATH station. What's next? Toilet paper rationing? God forbid.
Wednesday, 6:30 PM
I can't control myself....must...go...home --- screw it --Brookstone!
Wednesday, 9 PM
Damn holiday hours and stores. Back and feet hurt from the walking.
DAY 3 OF THE STRIKE
Thursday, 12/22, 6:30 AM
Dammit.
Thursday, 12/22, 9 AM
People aren't smiling anymore. I hear more grumbling and complaining
in the streets. Dragging my feet to work. Of course, stop by
Fourbucks for coffee. Oh, I need to get something at Duane Reade!
Thursday, 12/22, 10 AM - 3:59 PM
WORK
Thursday, 12/22, 4 PM
STRIKE OVER! Wait, I can't be elated just yet. It will take 10-12
hours for trains to run back on schedule and I have to go to 21st and
7th from 45th and Lex. CRAP.
+========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Mike, Jen and Graham
Bob and Russell
Lisa D
+========================+
Check out your horoscopes at
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 29, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Horoscope Email: Extreme Bathroom Edition! (12/17/05)
This email is late.
+==============================+
Gobi -- what's the story? Girl or boy? Panama or Canada? You there?
+==============================+
My parents got a bidet. And it's not just any bidet. Theirs is the
BioBidet 500, which has a seat warmer (high and low temps), water temp
gauge, front and back wash, and self cleaning action! It's the most
wonderful thing in the world.
http://www.biobidet.com/BB500%20The%20Ultimate%20Bidet.htm
+==============================+
This week, there has been media coverage of another bidet on the
market, called The Swash. See? Bidets are SWASHING the market!
http://www.brondell.com/Swash-600-400.php4
+==============================+
Also in bathroom news, my friend Annie told me about the dual flush
toilets she encountered in Australia. This is SUCH a great idea!!!!
Dual flush toilets run on the theory that pee only takes a little
flushing whereas poo takes an almighty flush to expunge its foul self.
A dual flush uses less water and is just too smart for words. My
theory as to why it hasn't hit it big in America is because people in
America are stupid and ignorant.
And my god! The marriage of both worlds: dual flush AND bidet!!
http://www.environmentalhomecenter.com/shop.mv?CatCode=PRODUCT&ProdCode=CAROMA_TOILET
Research about the dual flush from those wacky Canadians
http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/publications/en/rh-pr/tech/02-124-e.html
And from my favorite environmental blog about totally random things:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/03/dual_flush_toil_1.php
+==============================+
And for any malodorous fumes in your bathroom, I always recommend
Citrus Magic. But I didn't realize that they made a holiday selection
of scents. Even though the makers of Citrus Magic recommend sending
the Warm Winter Sampler (Gingerbread Spice, Green Apple Spice,
Peppermint Candy, and Citrus Spice) toTeachers, caregivers, party
hosts, mail carriers, hair stylists, friends and relatives, I am
pretty sure that gingerbread spice air freshener should be in every
household in America.
http://www.citrusmagic.com/holiday2005.html
+==============================+
This link has nothing to do with bathrooms, but it has to be
acknowledged:
http://cuteoverload.com/
Brought to you by SunAe
+==============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey and Steven
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
Sandy and George
Lynda
Alex
+==============================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
+==============================+
Gobi -- what's the story? Girl or boy? Panama or Canada? You there?
+==============================+
My parents got a bidet. And it's not just any bidet. Theirs is the
BioBidet 500, which has a seat warmer (high and low temps), water temp
gauge, front and back wash, and self cleaning action! It's the most
wonderful thing in the world.
http://www.biobidet.com/BB500%20The%20Ultimate%20Bidet.htm
+==============================+
This week, there has been media coverage of another bidet on the
market, called The Swash. See? Bidets are SWASHING the market!
http://www.brondell.com/Swash-600-400.php4
+==============================+
Also in bathroom news, my friend Annie told me about the dual flush
toilets she encountered in Australia. This is SUCH a great idea!!!!
Dual flush toilets run on the theory that pee only takes a little
flushing whereas poo takes an almighty flush to expunge its foul self.
A dual flush uses less water and is just too smart for words. My
theory as to why it hasn't hit it big in America is because people in
America are stupid and ignorant.
And my god! The marriage of both worlds: dual flush AND bidet!!
http://www.environmentalhomecenter.com/shop.mv?CatCode=PRODUCT&ProdCode=CAROMA_TOILET
Research about the dual flush from those wacky Canadians
http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/publications/en/rh-pr/tech/02-124-e.html
And from my favorite environmental blog about totally random things:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/03/dual_flush_toil_1.php
+==============================+
And for any malodorous fumes in your bathroom, I always recommend
Citrus Magic. But I didn't realize that they made a holiday selection
of scents. Even though the makers of Citrus Magic recommend sending
the Warm Winter Sampler (Gingerbread Spice, Green Apple Spice,
Peppermint Candy, and Citrus Spice) toTeachers, caregivers, party
hosts, mail carriers, hair stylists, friends and relatives, I am
pretty sure that gingerbread spice air freshener should be in every
household in America.
http://www.citrusmagic.com/holiday2005.html
+==============================+
This link has nothing to do with bathrooms, but it has to be
acknowledged:
http://cuteoverload.com/
Brought to you by SunAe
+==============================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey and Steven
Bob and Russell
Michelle E
Sandy and George
Lynda
Alex
+==============================+
Check out your horoscopes at http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
Monday, December 5, 2005
GLOG!
My friend (and old roommate Sasha) had her holiday party and the theme of the party was this glog that she made. Glog is a Swedish hot mulled wine with lots of other stuff in it. When I lifted the lid of the glog pott, the fumes from the glog were so strong that I thought my makeup had melted off my face. So here's a list of items in her glog:
Brandy
Burgundy Red Wine
Sweet Vermouth
Port Wine
Cloves
Cardamom
Cinnamon Sticks
Raisins
Blanched Almonds
Sugar
Needless to say, I was glogged by the end of the night.
Brandy
Burgundy Red Wine
Sweet Vermouth
Port Wine
Cloves
Cardamom
Cinnamon Sticks
Raisins
Blanched Almonds
Sugar
Needless to say, I was glogged by the end of the night.
Friday, December 2, 2005
Remind me to tell you about my parents' new bidet (11/30/05)
It's so surreal to come back to a place where you used to work even
though the office is in a different location and most of the people
you used to work with are no longer there. It's just WEIRD. It's like
just jumped forward in time from 2000 when I last worked at Porter to
2005. It's just as busy and it's the same work, but it's not. So
strange.
+===================+
DARK...CHOCOLATE...KISSES!!!!!!!!
http://www.hersheys.com/products/details/kisses.asp
+===================+
Happy Belated Birthday Dabney
+======================+
The song, "Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang is a weird song, but
so catchy. If you think too hard about the song, you realize it is
very, very dirty. But the music is just so happy and disco-bouncy.
Just sticks in your head.
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall, tell me
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall
'Cause I heard all the people sayin'
Get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it
If you really want it
Get down on it
You gotta feel it
Get down on it
Get down on it, get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it, baby, baby
Get down on it
Get down on it
Get down on it
+======================+
PLEASE HIRE MY FRIEND MARTHA LANGMUIR!
Martha Langmuir has a Masters in International Affairs with a
concentration in Human Rights from COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY (Ivy League no
less!), and is looking for a position in international (or domestic)
human rights, public health (esp sexual/reproductive health), rights
of sexual minorities, etc. She speaks French and Bengali and is "quite
possibly the finest woman in NYC" (her partner Martha's quote and I
entirely and wholeheartedly agree).
So if you know anyone with whom Martha can meet, or if you know
someone who works in these fields and may or may not be looking for
someone, or if you just think she is great, let me know and I will
pass on the leads/good wishes to her. I am determined to find this
fine lady a job.
+======================+
LONDON (Reuters) - Ever get frustrated with fresh-out-of the-fridge
butter that is too hard to spread?
November 30, 2005
A UK-based company has launched a portable, temperature-controlled
butter dish, ButterWizard, which keeps butter at what it says is the
optimal spreadable temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.
It has a built-in fan and a chip which together control the
temperature, adjustable for different textures, be it super-soft
bread, crusty toast or delicate biscuits. "We were trying to find out
what people's frustration with butter was. It's either too hard or too
soft," said David Alfille, managing director of East Sussex-based
company Alfille Innovations Limited.
"ButterWizard heats or cools the butter and you can adjust the
temperature to suit yourself."
Nutritionist Fiona Hunter said: "There are over 16 million UK
households buying butter on a regular basis, but one complaint I hear
time after time is the lack of spreadability of real butter."
"Butter has been part of diet for thousands of years. The important
thing is to spread butter thinly," she added.
+======================+
IMPORTANT DAYS TO COMMEMORATE:
December 1
World AIDS Day
Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS)
unaids@unaids.org
www.unaids.org/en/default.asp
http://worldaidscampaign.info/index.php/wac/wac/world_aids_day/wad_2005_events
Dec. 3 - 9
National Handwashing Awareness Week
Henry the Hand Foundation
11714 U.S. Route 42
Cincinnati, OH 45241
(513) 769-3660
dr.will@henrythehand.com
www.henrythehand.com
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen, Mike and Graham
Russell and Bob
Sandy
Ertischek
Ann, Dabney, Diane
All the turkeys we ate
+======================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 1, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
though the office is in a different location and most of the people
you used to work with are no longer there. It's just WEIRD. It's like
just jumped forward in time from 2000 when I last worked at Porter to
2005. It's just as busy and it's the same work, but it's not. So
strange.
+===================+
DARK...CHOCOLATE...KISSES!!!!!!!!
http://www.hersheys.com/products/details/kisses.asp
+===================+
Happy Belated Birthday Dabney
+======================+
The song, "Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang is a weird song, but
so catchy. If you think too hard about the song, you realize it is
very, very dirty. But the music is just so happy and disco-bouncy.
Just sticks in your head.
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall, tell me
How you gonna do it
If you really don't want to dance
By standing on the wall
Get your back up off the wall
'Cause I heard all the people sayin'
Get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it
If you really want it
Get down on it
You gotta feel it
Get down on it
Get down on it, get down on it
Come on and
Get down on it, baby, baby
Get down on it
Get down on it
Get down on it
+======================+
PLEASE HIRE MY FRIEND MARTHA LANGMUIR!
Martha Langmuir has a Masters in International Affairs with a
concentration in Human Rights from COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY (Ivy League no
less!), and is looking for a position in international (or domestic)
human rights, public health (esp sexual/reproductive health), rights
of sexual minorities, etc. She speaks French and Bengali and is "quite
possibly the finest woman in NYC" (her partner Martha's quote and I
entirely and wholeheartedly agree).
So if you know anyone with whom Martha can meet, or if you know
someone who works in these fields and may or may not be looking for
someone, or if you just think she is great, let me know and I will
pass on the leads/good wishes to her. I am determined to find this
fine lady a job.
+======================+
LONDON (Reuters) - Ever get frustrated with fresh-out-of the-fridge
butter that is too hard to spread?
November 30, 2005
A UK-based company has launched a portable, temperature-controlled
butter dish, ButterWizard, which keeps butter at what it says is the
optimal spreadable temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.
It has a built-in fan and a chip which together control the
temperature, adjustable for different textures, be it super-soft
bread, crusty toast or delicate biscuits. "We were trying to find out
what people's frustration with butter was. It's either too hard or too
soft," said David Alfille, managing director of East Sussex-based
company Alfille Innovations Limited.
"ButterWizard heats or cools the butter and you can adjust the
temperature to suit yourself."
Nutritionist Fiona Hunter said: "There are over 16 million UK
households buying butter on a regular basis, but one complaint I hear
time after time is the lack of spreadability of real butter."
"Butter has been part of diet for thousands of years. The important
thing is to spread butter thinly," she added.
+======================+
IMPORTANT DAYS TO COMMEMORATE:
December 1
World AIDS Day
Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS)
unaids@unaids.org
www.unaids.org/en/default.asp
http://worldaidscampaign.info/index.php/wac/wac/world_aids_day/wad_2005_events
Dec. 3 - 9
National Handwashing Awareness Week
Henry the Hand Foundation
11714 U.S. Route 42
Cincinnati, OH 45241
(513) 769-3660
dr.will@henrythehand.com
www.henrythehand.com
+======================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Jen, Mike and Graham
Russell and Bob
Sandy
Ertischek
Ann, Dabney, Diane
All the turkeys we ate
+======================+
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of December 1, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
(c) 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Sunday, November 20, 2005
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
November 13, 2005
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
By ANDY NEWMAN
The New York Times
A bear with a prominent grease spot on his little beige nose spends his days wedged behind the bumper guard of an ironworker's pickup in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. A fuzzy rabbit and a clown, garroted by a bungee cord, slump from the front of a Dodge van in Park Slope. Stewie, the evil baby from "Family Guy," scowls from the grille of a Pepperidge Farm delivery truck in Brooklyn Heights, mold occasionally sprouting from his forehead.
All are soldiers in the tattered, scattered army of the stuffed: mostly discarded toys plucked from the trash and given new if punishing lives on the prows of large motor vehicles, their fluffy white guts flapping from burst seams and going gray in the soot-stream of a thousand exhaust pipes.
Grille-mounted stuffed animals form a compelling yet little-studied aspect of the urban streetscape, a traveling gallery of baldly transgressive public art. The time has come not just to praise them but to ask the big question. Why?
That is, why do a small percentage of trucks and vans have filthy plush toys lashed to their fronts, like prisoners at the mast? Are they someone's idea of a joke? Parking aids? Talismans against summonses?
Don't expect an easy answer.
Interviews with half a dozen truckers as well as folklorists, art historians and anthropologists revealed the grille-mounted plush toy to be a product of a tangle of physical circumstance, proximate and indirect influence, ethnic tradition, occupational mindset and Jungian archetype.
Like all adornments, of course, the grille pet advertises something about its owner. The very act of decorating a truck indicates an openness on the driver's part, according to Dan DiVittorio, owner of D & N Services, a carting company in Queens, and of a garbage truck with a squishy red skull on the front.
"It has to do something with their character," said Mr. DiVittorio, 27. "I don't see anybody that wouldn't be a halfway decent person putting something on their truck."
But a truck can be aesthetically modified in a million ways: "Mom" in spiffy gold letters across the hood; mudflaps depicting top-heavy women; flames painted along the sides. Why use beat-up stuffed animals?
One prevalent theory among truckers is that chicks dig them.
Robert Marbury, an artist who photographed dozens of Manhattan bumper fauna for a project in 2000 (see urbanbeast.com/faq/strapped.html), said he had once asked a trash hauler why he had a family of three mismatched bears strapped to his rig.
"He said: 'Yo, man, I drive a garbage truck. How am I going to get the ladies to look at me?' " Mr. Marbury recalled.
Mr. Marbury, who holds a degree in anthropology, added that the battered bear and his brethren had at least one foot in the vernacular cultures of Latin America, where the festive and the ghoulish enjoy a symbiotic relationship. Most of the drivers whose trucks he photographed were Hispanic, he said.
Monroe Denton, a lecturer in art history at the School of Visual Arts, traced the phenomenon's roots back to the figureheads that have animated bows of ships since the time of the pharaohs.
"There was some sort of heraldic device to deny the fact of this gigantic machine," he said. "You would have these humanizing forms, anthropomorphic forms - a device that both proclaims the identity of the machine and conceals it."
Whatever its origins, the grille-mounted cuddle object is found across the country. It has been spotted in Baltimore, Miami, Chicago and other cities.
Mierle Laderman Ukeles, the artist in residence at New York City's Department of Sanitation, said that when she noticed the animals on garbagemen's trucks in the late 1970's, she "felt they were like these spirit creatures that were accompanying them on this endless journey in flux."
There are differences, though, between the dragon crowning a Viking ship - or, for that matter, the chrome bulldog guarding the hood of a Mack truck- and the scuzzy bunny bound to the bumper with rubber hose. The main one is that the grille-mounted stuffed animal is almost always a found object - "mongo," in garbageman's parlance. And in that respect it functions as a sort of trophy.
"I always felt," Ms. Ukeles said, "with these creatures that they withdrew from the garbage and refused to let go of, that there was an act of rescue involved."
That is certainly true for Julio Hernandez, a laborer for Aspen Tree Specialists in Brooklyn.
The GMC chipper-truck he rides in is graced with 11 figurines, each defective in one way or another - Hulk Hogan with both hands missing, a Frankenstein monster with a hole in his head, a nearly disintegrated black rubber rat. "People throw them out because they're broken," Mr. Hernandez, 38, said in Spanish. "They catch my attention."
A few months ago, Roberto Argueto spotted a floppy doll in the gutter near the headquarters of Sasco Construction in Brooklyn. The doll had brown pigtails, a white bonnet and the bluest eyes. He hung her from the front wall of the flatbed of his truck with a coat hanger, and he named her Margaret.
"I like the doll," said Mr. Argueto, 39. "She's pretty."
The flatbed carries some unforgiving payloads - scaffolding, bricks, sandbags - but Mr. Argueto protects Margaret.
"When I put something back there, I try to cover her," he said.
For all the reclaimed toys that are fussed over, though, there seem to be at least as many that are mistreated: tied to grilles in positions that recall the rack, and exposed to the maximum amount of road-salt and mud-spray.
Why do this? Whence the urge to debase an icon of innocence?
This is the true mystery of the grille-mounted stuffed animal, and it is here that the terrain gets heavily psychological and a bit murky.
Ms. Ukeles, who claims to understand sanitation workers fairly well, having shaken hands with 8,500 of them during a three-year performance project, said they identified on some level with their mascots.
"There's a transference in this," she said. "There's this soft, flesh-and-bone sanitation worker, who knows very well they could be crushed against this truck. The creature could be the sanitation worker in a very dangerous position, so the animal could be a stand-in."
(Stuffed animals, sadly, are verboten on city garbage trucks and nearly impossible to find these days; they were against department regulations even in the 1970's, but perhaps sanitation men are not the free spirits now that they were back then.)
At the same time, Ms. Ukeles said, the trucker, perhaps uncomfortable with his soft side, may feel compelled to punish it.
"Binding a soft thing to a very powerful truck - there's a kind of macho thing about that," she said.
That double identification with both victim and agent of violence may reflect the driver's frustrating position in society. Stuffed animals are found mostly on the trucks of men who perform hard, messy labor, which, despite the strength and bravery it demands, places them on the lower rungs of the ladder of occupational prestige.
The motley animal, then, can function as a badge of outsider status, a thumbed nose to the squares and suits. In that case, the cuter the mascot, the more meaningful its disintegration.
Thus, while Mr. DiVittorio, of the Queens carting company, is quite fond of the red plastic skull that adorns his garbage truck, he will never forget its predecessor, a three-foot-high stuffed Scooby-Doo.
"Scooby was great," he recalled. "He covered the whole radiator and down to the bumper. You can't even imagine how many people took pictures of him."
Life on the road took its toll. "He got junked out riding in the front of the truck," Mr. DiVittorio said. "One of his arms was starting to fall off."
Mr. DiVittorio blamed the rivet-studded wire ties that held the dog fast. "You know how," he said, "if you have cuffs on your wrists, they dig into you?"
Eventually, Mr. DiVittorio said, Scooby's time came: "He went from the front of the truck to the back. We had to throw him away."
Scooby's story lends credence to the theory of Mr. Denton, the art historian, that the grille-mounted stuffed animal draws from the same well as the "abject art" movement that flourished in the 1990's and trafficked heavily in images of filth and of distressed bodies.
"That is part of the abject," he said, "this toy that is loved to death quite literally."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
The externalization of an indoor object is another abject trope, Mr. Denton said. "An important aspect of the abject is the informe, the lack of boundaries," he said, using the French critical theory term, "the insides oozing out."
Charlie Maixner, a steamfitter for Deacon Corp. in Jericho on Long Island, has taken the informe to its logical extreme.
On the dashboard of his Econoline van is an adorable and pristine white bear, a gift from his 5-year-old daughter. But the bear is not for the outside world. On the grille is Mr. Hankey, salvaged from a chef's office during a kitchen renovation job.
Mr. Hankey, to the pop-culturally illiterate, appears to be a brown worm in a Santa hat. He is not. He is the carol-crooning excrement from "South Park," where he is formally known as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
"The bear on the dashboard, that's 'I love you, Daddy,' " Mr. Maixner said. "The other one is 'Daddy, what's that?' "
For that question, Mr. Maixner has a ready answer:
"I just tell her it's Mr. Hankey."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times
They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?
By ANDY NEWMAN
The New York Times
A bear with a prominent grease spot on his little beige nose spends his days wedged behind the bumper guard of an ironworker's pickup in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. A fuzzy rabbit and a clown, garroted by a bungee cord, slump from the front of a Dodge van in Park Slope. Stewie, the evil baby from "Family Guy," scowls from the grille of a Pepperidge Farm delivery truck in Brooklyn Heights, mold occasionally sprouting from his forehead.
All are soldiers in the tattered, scattered army of the stuffed: mostly discarded toys plucked from the trash and given new if punishing lives on the prows of large motor vehicles, their fluffy white guts flapping from burst seams and going gray in the soot-stream of a thousand exhaust pipes.
Grille-mounted stuffed animals form a compelling yet little-studied aspect of the urban streetscape, a traveling gallery of baldly transgressive public art. The time has come not just to praise them but to ask the big question. Why?
That is, why do a small percentage of trucks and vans have filthy plush toys lashed to their fronts, like prisoners at the mast? Are they someone's idea of a joke? Parking aids? Talismans against summonses?
Don't expect an easy answer.
Interviews with half a dozen truckers as well as folklorists, art historians and anthropologists revealed the grille-mounted plush toy to be a product of a tangle of physical circumstance, proximate and indirect influence, ethnic tradition, occupational mindset and Jungian archetype.
Like all adornments, of course, the grille pet advertises something about its owner. The very act of decorating a truck indicates an openness on the driver's part, according to Dan DiVittorio, owner of D & N Services, a carting company in Queens, and of a garbage truck with a squishy red skull on the front.
"It has to do something with their character," said Mr. DiVittorio, 27. "I don't see anybody that wouldn't be a halfway decent person putting something on their truck."
But a truck can be aesthetically modified in a million ways: "Mom" in spiffy gold letters across the hood; mudflaps depicting top-heavy women; flames painted along the sides. Why use beat-up stuffed animals?
One prevalent theory among truckers is that chicks dig them.
Robert Marbury, an artist who photographed dozens of Manhattan bumper fauna for a project in 2000 (see urbanbeast.com/faq/strapped.html), said he had once asked a trash hauler why he had a family of three mismatched bears strapped to his rig.
"He said: 'Yo, man, I drive a garbage truck. How am I going to get the ladies to look at me?' " Mr. Marbury recalled.
Mr. Marbury, who holds a degree in anthropology, added that the battered bear and his brethren had at least one foot in the vernacular cultures of Latin America, where the festive and the ghoulish enjoy a symbiotic relationship. Most of the drivers whose trucks he photographed were Hispanic, he said.
Monroe Denton, a lecturer in art history at the School of Visual Arts, traced the phenomenon's roots back to the figureheads that have animated bows of ships since the time of the pharaohs.
"There was some sort of heraldic device to deny the fact of this gigantic machine," he said. "You would have these humanizing forms, anthropomorphic forms - a device that both proclaims the identity of the machine and conceals it."
Whatever its origins, the grille-mounted cuddle object is found across the country. It has been spotted in Baltimore, Miami, Chicago and other cities.
Mierle Laderman Ukeles, the artist in residence at New York City's Department of Sanitation, said that when she noticed the animals on garbagemen's trucks in the late 1970's, she "felt they were like these spirit creatures that were accompanying them on this endless journey in flux."
There are differences, though, between the dragon crowning a Viking ship - or, for that matter, the chrome bulldog guarding the hood of a Mack truck- and the scuzzy bunny bound to the bumper with rubber hose. The main one is that the grille-mounted stuffed animal is almost always a found object - "mongo," in garbageman's parlance. And in that respect it functions as a sort of trophy.
"I always felt," Ms. Ukeles said, "with these creatures that they withdrew from the garbage and refused to let go of, that there was an act of rescue involved."
That is certainly true for Julio Hernandez, a laborer for Aspen Tree Specialists in Brooklyn.
The GMC chipper-truck he rides in is graced with 11 figurines, each defective in one way or another - Hulk Hogan with both hands missing, a Frankenstein monster with a hole in his head, a nearly disintegrated black rubber rat. "People throw them out because they're broken," Mr. Hernandez, 38, said in Spanish. "They catch my attention."
A few months ago, Roberto Argueto spotted a floppy doll in the gutter near the headquarters of Sasco Construction in Brooklyn. The doll had brown pigtails, a white bonnet and the bluest eyes. He hung her from the front wall of the flatbed of his truck with a coat hanger, and he named her Margaret.
"I like the doll," said Mr. Argueto, 39. "She's pretty."
The flatbed carries some unforgiving payloads - scaffolding, bricks, sandbags - but Mr. Argueto protects Margaret.
"When I put something back there, I try to cover her," he said.
For all the reclaimed toys that are fussed over, though, there seem to be at least as many that are mistreated: tied to grilles in positions that recall the rack, and exposed to the maximum amount of road-salt and mud-spray.
Why do this? Whence the urge to debase an icon of innocence?
This is the true mystery of the grille-mounted stuffed animal, and it is here that the terrain gets heavily psychological and a bit murky.
Ms. Ukeles, who claims to understand sanitation workers fairly well, having shaken hands with 8,500 of them during a three-year performance project, said they identified on some level with their mascots.
"There's a transference in this," she said. "There's this soft, flesh-and-bone sanitation worker, who knows very well they could be crushed against this truck. The creature could be the sanitation worker in a very dangerous position, so the animal could be a stand-in."
(Stuffed animals, sadly, are verboten on city garbage trucks and nearly impossible to find these days; they were against department regulations even in the 1970's, but perhaps sanitation men are not the free spirits now that they were back then.)
At the same time, Ms. Ukeles said, the trucker, perhaps uncomfortable with his soft side, may feel compelled to punish it.
"Binding a soft thing to a very powerful truck - there's a kind of macho thing about that," she said.
That double identification with both victim and agent of violence may reflect the driver's frustrating position in society. Stuffed animals are found mostly on the trucks of men who perform hard, messy labor, which, despite the strength and bravery it demands, places them on the lower rungs of the ladder of occupational prestige.
The motley animal, then, can function as a badge of outsider status, a thumbed nose to the squares and suits. In that case, the cuter the mascot, the more meaningful its disintegration.
Thus, while Mr. DiVittorio, of the Queens carting company, is quite fond of the red plastic skull that adorns his garbage truck, he will never forget its predecessor, a three-foot-high stuffed Scooby-Doo.
"Scooby was great," he recalled. "He covered the whole radiator and down to the bumper. You can't even imagine how many people took pictures of him."
Life on the road took its toll. "He got junked out riding in the front of the truck," Mr. DiVittorio said. "One of his arms was starting to fall off."
Mr. DiVittorio blamed the rivet-studded wire ties that held the dog fast. "You know how," he said, "if you have cuffs on your wrists, they dig into you?"
Eventually, Mr. DiVittorio said, Scooby's time came: "He went from the front of the truck to the back. We had to throw him away."
Scooby's story lends credence to the theory of Mr. Denton, the art historian, that the grille-mounted stuffed animal draws from the same well as the "abject art" movement that flourished in the 1990's and trafficked heavily in images of filth and of distressed bodies.
"That is part of the abject," he said, "this toy that is loved to death quite literally."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
The externalization of an indoor object is another abject trope, Mr. Denton said. "An important aspect of the abject is the informe, the lack of boundaries," he said, using the French critical theory term, "the insides oozing out."
Charlie Maixner, a steamfitter for Deacon Corp. in Jericho on Long Island, has taken the informe to its logical extreme.
On the dashboard of his Econoline van is an adorable and pristine white bear, a gift from his 5-year-old daughter. But the bear is not for the outside world. On the grille is Mr. Hankey, salvaged from a chef's office during a kitchen renovation job.
Mr. Hankey, to the pop-culturally illiterate, appears to be a brown worm in a Santa hat. He is not. He is the carol-crooning excrement from "South Park," where he is formally known as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
"The bear on the dashboard, that's 'I love you, Daddy,' " Mr. Maixner said. "The other one is 'Daddy, what's that?' "
For that question, Mr. Maixner has a ready answer:
"I just tell her it's Mr. Hankey."
Copyright 2005 The New York Times
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Halloween in Boston
My lovely friends Ann, Dabney and Ashley, along with their friend Boston Tara, hosted Fright Pint '05 and here are the photos. If you can't tell, I am Bob Ross.
http://www.ashbloemstraat.com/blog/_archives/2005/10/31/1332987.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20881331@N00/sets/1257728/
http://www.ashbloemstraat.com/blog/_archives/2005/10/31/1332987.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20881331@N00/sets/1257728/
A QUICKIE (11-10-05)
This one is a short one as I was out last week in FL attending to the parents (they are fine) and started my new job this week (it's great) and need to get back on the horoscope wagon...
+===========================+
Pearls of Wisdom and Other Ancient Chinese Secrets:
ABSOLUTELY NEVER eat salmon on a Sunday and NEVER eat linguine with clam sauce on a Monday. You would think I would remember these things, but NoooOOoOoOOooOO. Needless to say, I was out sick on my second day at my new job.
And oddly enough, I am now craving fried shrimp.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO LORINDA WONG AND KIM HECKSCHER DECKER!
The Marthas
Ertischek
Saumya, Matt S. and Lisa D., for complaining that they haven't seen their horoscopes in a while
Congrats to Sandy and George for finally moving out of their families' homes and into their own!
Congrats to YoungMee on her move to Boston!
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 10, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+===========================+
Pearls of Wisdom and Other Ancient Chinese Secrets:
ABSOLUTELY NEVER eat salmon on a Sunday and NEVER eat linguine with clam sauce on a Monday. You would think I would remember these things, but NoooOOoOoOOooOO. Needless to say, I was out sick on my second day at my new job.
And oddly enough, I am now craving fried shrimp.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO LORINDA WONG AND KIM HECKSCHER DECKER!
The Marthas
Ertischek
Saumya, Matt S. and Lisa D., for complaining that they haven't seen their horoscopes in a while
Congrats to Sandy and George for finally moving out of their families' homes and into their own!
Congrats to YoungMee on her move to Boston!
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of November 10, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Friday, October 21, 2005
they are making dark chocolate kit kats!!!!! (10-21-05)
I have been quite quiet in the past few weeks and one of the reasons for this is because I was interviewing for a new job (two-month interview process - sheer hell). As of November 7, I will be an account supervisor at Porter Novelli in its health care division. I can hear a lot of you saying, “WHAAAAAAAA?” right now. Yes, I am going back. Never thought it would happen, but it has! I am looking forward to going back to PR. But I will miss this la-la land of Pop Council. This place has been great - birthday teas once a month, heritage appreciation days (the most recent was Hispanic appreciation month and we had Latin food, a pniata and tango lessons), and the incredibly huge Halloween party. I will also miss the 24 days vacation and 12 sick days. Sigh. But on to bigger and better things :-). So, so long Pop Council and hello Porter Novelli!
+=======================+
Ah, those wacky Asians. They are at it again:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648
+=======================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Sally, Todd - to their two new long-term, college-fund visitors, Henry and Jack (oh, and Otis)!
Gobi and Piers + 1
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
Sandy
+=======================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of October 20, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+=======================+
Ah, those wacky Asians. They are at it again:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648
+=======================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Sally, Todd - to their two new long-term, college-fund visitors, Henry and Jack (oh, and Otis)!
Gobi and Piers + 1
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
Sandy
+=======================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of October 20, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
ready...set...HIBERNATE (10-12-05)
I turned on full hibernation mode this weekend. First, I ALWAYS forget that I get Columbus Day off so I never plan ahead and go away for a long weekend. Second, it was raining ALL WEEKEND LONG. Third, combine one and two and you get lazy Michelle. She sits in her lazygirl all day long watching bad tv and painting her nails. Not a pretty sight at all.
+=====================+
http://www.qwantz.com/posterchild/
Super Mario blocks - I have never seen these around Manhattan, but I bet you they are somewhere.
+=====================+
My sister in law, Jen, wrote me a very charming email about life in Iowa and in particular, the food at the Madison County Covered Bridges Festival (http://www.madisoncounty.com/bridge_fest.html). She says there was “cookie dough on a stick (yes uncooked), pork on a stick (no surprise), lamb on a stick, pickles on a stick (the same vendor sold “pop”-the Midwestern way of saying soda)and the big surprise was the walking taco...(a Doritos bag filled with ground taco meat, lettuce and tomato-you eat it with a fork).” Now this is the first time I have heard about the walking taco. I know about eating chili and fritos out of a fritos bag (the Fritos pie), but I have never heard of a walking taco. If any of you have tried it, please let me know how it is/was.
+=====================+
STARF*CKER ALERT:
I was at Balthazar restaurant for brunch on Saturday. I wanted to go there because I have been mainlining their potato bread for the last couple of weeks. If I could I would roll around naked in this bread. The bread is that good.
Well, anyway, I went with my friends Steven, Alex and Marcie, who were gracious enough to spend a good sum of money for brunch just so that I could indulge in my bread habit. While there, Kelly Ripa, her husband Mark Consuelos and their many children were having brunch as well. She’s a very tiny person and her husband is hot. My friend (I won’t name names) wouldn’t stop staring. We finally had to drag him away to make him stop staring at Kelly. So sad.
+=====================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Steven, Alex and Marcie - THE BREAD! THE BREAD!
+=====================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of October 13, 2005
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
one's body shouldn't generate THIS much mucous (9-29-05)
Yes, I am a delinquent. I didn’t send out an email last week and I am late sending this one out. Well, I have had house guests (Hi Annie and Dabney) and now I have a sinus infection. Those are my excuses. So there.
+========================+
TIME WASTER #1
1. You may want to grab a calculator
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
... the outcome should be your phone number ...
Thanks to Beverly Barnes!
+========================+
I was the maid of honor at my friend Sandy’s wedding to George and here are some words of advice for any maid or matron of honor:
- Bring lots of Valium and/or Ativan.
+========================+
As previously mentioned, Annie and Dabney were in town with Annie’s two aunts and one uncle. The relatives took the Gray Line’s All Loop Tour which included a night tour on their double decker bus. One night, when the relatives were at Lion King, Annie, Dabney and I went on the night tour. The night tour went through Times Square, into Chelsea, around Greenwich Village, through Chinatown, over the Manhattan Bridge, through Brooklyn Heights to see the Manhattan skyline at night, back over the Manhattan Bridge, through Chinatown, and back to Times Square.
First, I have to say that as a New Yorker, there is nothing like sitting on a bus at night and looking into the second floors of apartment buildings that you have never seen or would ever have a chance to see. There are some dumps, but there are also some fantastic apartments with people who must be sick and tired of seeing tourists staring into their apartments all week long.
Second, the highlight of the tour for me was crossing the bridge. The bus has no shocks (I felt like I was getting whiplash through the tour) and the double decker bus was filled with people on top and nobody but the driver underneath. So, needless to say, the bus didn’t feel very stable. And while you are sitting on the top shelf, you can actually see over the bridge barriers and into the water. And because of the height, you can actually see the cables holding up the bridge - very close up. So, while you cross the bridge, the bus is swaying and the water is shimmering underneath. Very scary.
Third, tourists are nice, clueless people. Unfortunately, the tour guide was an acerbic, bitter evil woman. She had her iPod in one ear the entire trip, even while she was giving her tour speeches. However, everyone else on the bus was quite nice.
Overall, it was an interesting trip. It made me realize how hard it is to be a tourist in New York.
+========================+
My friend Sun Ae sent me these amazing web sites:
http://www.danielhsia.com/m_squat.php
http://www.connectkorea.com/menu/videowatch.php?number=37&page=8 I recommend watching this on IE or a PC. When I tried to watch it on a Mac, the video stopped halfway through. Unfortunately, the REAL action starts to cook at the end.
+========================+
Listening to the news lately makes me think that we have been time warped into a past century. For example, didn’t we already have a debate about evolution vs. creationism (now spun as “intelligent design”)? Wasn’t it decided that we should keep religion outside of schools? What happened? Why are we discussing this again? Also, didn’t we decide that abortions are legal? Why are we STILL debating this issue? I know I don’t pay attention to anything, especially people talking, but I KNOW that we had these debates years ago. I wasn’t there per se, but I know I read about them somewhere.
+========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Michelle Ertischek
Annie and Dabney
The Marthas
Lisa Davidson
Google
+========================+
Fall has won. I finally wore shoes this week. My feet are very sad to be cooped up inside of a shoe. They were so happy, free in a pair of sandals.
+========================+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 29, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+========================+
TIME WASTER #1
1. You may want to grab a calculator
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
... the outcome should be your phone number ...
Thanks to Beverly Barnes!
+========================+
I was the maid of honor at my friend Sandy’s wedding to George and here are some words of advice for any maid or matron of honor:
- Bring lots of Valium and/or Ativan.
+========================+
As previously mentioned, Annie and Dabney were in town with Annie’s two aunts and one uncle. The relatives took the Gray Line’s All Loop Tour which included a night tour on their double decker bus. One night, when the relatives were at Lion King, Annie, Dabney and I went on the night tour. The night tour went through Times Square, into Chelsea, around Greenwich Village, through Chinatown, over the Manhattan Bridge, through Brooklyn Heights to see the Manhattan skyline at night, back over the Manhattan Bridge, through Chinatown, and back to Times Square.
First, I have to say that as a New Yorker, there is nothing like sitting on a bus at night and looking into the second floors of apartment buildings that you have never seen or would ever have a chance to see. There are some dumps, but there are also some fantastic apartments with people who must be sick and tired of seeing tourists staring into their apartments all week long.
Second, the highlight of the tour for me was crossing the bridge. The bus has no shocks (I felt like I was getting whiplash through the tour) and the double decker bus was filled with people on top and nobody but the driver underneath. So, needless to say, the bus didn’t feel very stable. And while you are sitting on the top shelf, you can actually see over the bridge barriers and into the water. And because of the height, you can actually see the cables holding up the bridge - very close up. So, while you cross the bridge, the bus is swaying and the water is shimmering underneath. Very scary.
Third, tourists are nice, clueless people. Unfortunately, the tour guide was an acerbic, bitter evil woman. She had her iPod in one ear the entire trip, even while she was giving her tour speeches. However, everyone else on the bus was quite nice.
Overall, it was an interesting trip. It made me realize how hard it is to be a tourist in New York.
+========================+
My friend Sun Ae sent me these amazing web sites:
http://www.danielhsia.com/m_squat.php
http://www.connectkorea.com/menu/videowatch.php?number=37&page=8 I recommend watching this on IE or a PC. When I tried to watch it on a Mac, the video stopped halfway through. Unfortunately, the REAL action starts to cook at the end.
+========================+
Listening to the news lately makes me think that we have been time warped into a past century. For example, didn’t we already have a debate about evolution vs. creationism (now spun as “intelligent design”)? Wasn’t it decided that we should keep religion outside of schools? What happened? Why are we discussing this again? Also, didn’t we decide that abortions are legal? Why are we STILL debating this issue? I know I don’t pay attention to anything, especially people talking, but I KNOW that we had these debates years ago. I wasn’t there per se, but I know I read about them somewhere.
+========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Michelle Ertischek
Annie and Dabney
The Marthas
Lisa Davidson
+========================+
Fall has won. I finally wore shoes this week. My feet are very sad to be cooped up inside of a shoe. They were so happy, free in a pair of sandals.
+========================+
Check out your horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 29, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Friday, September 16, 2005
This is for my freaky cat loving friends (Thanks Ashbloem!):
http://www.7secondsoflove.com/ninja/
And one more for you cat loving freaks, http://stuffonmycat.com/
+=================+
So, I haven’t written in several weeks. My apologies.
Michelle
+=================+
Through my friends Carey and Steven (hey!) I volunteered for the second (officially, third unofficially) time at BBQ NYC (http://www.bbq-nyc.com/) as a food commando (I had to oversee the moving on the food line and the bringing of the meat) and also entered the salsa contest. I entered using someone else’s recipe (Ron Johnson’s to be exact) and, to the big chagrin of my foodie friends (yes, my dirty little secret is out: I am a closet foodie, who posts on food web sites. I like good food. Preferably cheap good food), I used CANNED tomatoes and GARLIC SALT. My foodie friends used heirloom tomatoes and totally organic ingredients. The rest of the items I used were organic, except for the CANNED TOMATOES and GARLIC SALT. Oh, and the pre-chopped, bottled garlic. Yes, that’s right. PRE CHOPPED, BOTTLED GARLIC.
Well, long story short, I won the salsa contest. The big prize was a t-shirt.
Here’s the recipe:
Place in food processor:
One can San Marzanos
Two jalapenos, stems removed
two cloves of garlic
half red onion, roughly chopped
bunch of cilantro, stems removed
juice of two limes (I added this right before serving instead of letting it sit for 24 hours)
salt
pepper
chopped scallions
habanero to taste
Process to desired chunkiness, place in covered container in fridge for 24 hours.
THANKS RON JOHNSON!
+=================+
Last week I was in LA for my friend Sandy’s wedding to George. I was the maid of honor. Photos available on http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/ Will tell you ALL about that next week.
+=================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Sandy and George
Young Mee, Laurie, Claire, Sofia, Linda
Bev and her George
Carey and Steven
The Mighty Fine BBQ NYC crew
Big Island BBQ
Adam Perry Lang (of Daisy Mae fame) for some fine pig Bob and Russell Saumya and her wonderful sister and brother in law Mija and Kevin plus one!
Bye Martha!
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
http://www.7secondsoflove.com/ninja/
And one more for you cat loving freaks, http://stuffonmycat.com/
+=================+
So, I haven’t written in several weeks. My apologies.
Michelle
+=================+
Through my friends Carey and Steven (hey!) I volunteered for the second (officially, third unofficially) time at BBQ NYC (http://www.bbq-nyc.com/) as a food commando (I had to oversee the moving on the food line and the bringing of the meat) and also entered the salsa contest. I entered using someone else’s recipe (Ron Johnson’s to be exact) and, to the big chagrin of my foodie friends (yes, my dirty little secret is out: I am a closet foodie, who posts on food web sites. I like good food. Preferably cheap good food), I used CANNED tomatoes and GARLIC SALT. My foodie friends used heirloom tomatoes and totally organic ingredients. The rest of the items I used were organic, except for the CANNED TOMATOES and GARLIC SALT. Oh, and the pre-chopped, bottled garlic. Yes, that’s right. PRE CHOPPED, BOTTLED GARLIC.
Well, long story short, I won the salsa contest. The big prize was a t-shirt.
Here’s the recipe:
Place in food processor:
One can San Marzanos
Two jalapenos, stems removed
two cloves of garlic
half red onion, roughly chopped
bunch of cilantro, stems removed
juice of two limes (I added this right before serving instead of letting it sit for 24 hours)
salt
pepper
chopped scallions
habanero to taste
Process to desired chunkiness, place in covered container in fridge for 24 hours.
THANKS RON JOHNSON!
+=================+
Last week I was in LA for my friend Sandy’s wedding to George. I was the maid of honor. Photos available on http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/ Will tell you ALL about that next week.
+=================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Sandy and George
Young Mee, Laurie, Claire, Sofia, Linda
Bev and her George
Carey and Steven
The Mighty Fine BBQ NYC crew
Big Island BBQ
Adam Perry Lang (of Daisy Mae fame) for some fine pig Bob and Russell Saumya and her wonderful sister and brother in law Mija and Kevin plus one!
Bye Martha!
+=================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of September 15, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
PS: I hope it's not scabies (8-25-05)
I am addicted to this putt-putt game. When I was growing up, there was a mini-putt nearby that was called "Putt-putt" and it had the most annoying jingle, that went "Putt putt for the fun of it! Putt putt for the fun of it!"
My best score so far is 48. But I am working on lowering that.
http://www.elliotinthemorning.com/games/miniputt.swf
+=================================+
So I went to Jacksonville to stay with my mom and while there, I had a long list of errands. I fixed my dad's office computer, I vacuumed the house, I cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen, and I went to Orlando to get some things done on their house down there. Well, if you recall, I talked about the boxes of receipts, cancelled checks and statements that dated back to 1972. My father and I were able to hand shred 1972 - 1979. I knew when I came back to Jax this August, I wanted to find a shredding company so that we could finally get rid of those boxes from 1980 - at least 1998. I found a shredding company (http://shredit.com/) that actually comes to your house with a truck full of locked containers where the shredded documents are dumped. They only charge $8/banker's box. I was elated! Finally an answer to my shredding problems!
Well, my mother had other things in mind. She refused to use any shredding company because the papers were too sensitive to be shred by anyone other than her or me or my father. And she wouldn't budge.
I don't see how 25 year old cancelled checks from a bank that is no longer in business can be sensitive information, but she has her reasons. Needless to say, no one at my house shred a damn thing while I was down in FL this past week.
+=================================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
ME BECAUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY LAST WEEK!
Carmela Quezon, because not only was it her birthday last week but I also called her Carmen by mistake
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO HOLLY THOMPSON!
Bob and Russell, who gave me some incredible veggies and wonderful conversation
Martha, for the incredible salad and wonderful conversation as well
Steven and Alex, for understanding "women's problems" (LOLOLOLOLOL)
+=================================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of August 25, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
My best score so far is 48. But I am working on lowering that.
http://www.elliotinthemorning.com/games/miniputt.swf
+=================================+
So I went to Jacksonville to stay with my mom and while there, I had a long list of errands. I fixed my dad's office computer, I vacuumed the house, I cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen, and I went to Orlando to get some things done on their house down there. Well, if you recall, I talked about the boxes of receipts, cancelled checks and statements that dated back to 1972. My father and I were able to hand shred 1972 - 1979. I knew when I came back to Jax this August, I wanted to find a shredding company so that we could finally get rid of those boxes from 1980 - at least 1998. I found a shredding company (http://shredit.com/) that actually comes to your house with a truck full of locked containers where the shredded documents are dumped. They only charge $8/banker's box. I was elated! Finally an answer to my shredding problems!
Well, my mother had other things in mind. She refused to use any shredding company because the papers were too sensitive to be shred by anyone other than her or me or my father. And she wouldn't budge.
I don't see how 25 year old cancelled checks from a bank that is no longer in business can be sensitive information, but she has her reasons. Needless to say, no one at my house shred a damn thing while I was down in FL this past week.
+=================================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
ME BECAUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY LAST WEEK!
Carmela Quezon, because not only was it her birthday last week but I also called her Carmen by mistake
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO HOLLY THOMPSON!
Bob and Russell, who gave me some incredible veggies and wonderful conversation
Martha, for the incredible salad and wonderful conversation as well
Steven and Alex, for understanding "women's problems" (LOLOLOLOLOL)
+=================================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of August 25, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Have I told...you lately...that I lurrrrrve ya? (8-10-05)
LASIK 2005 UPDATE:
Thanks for all of the comments re: my fuzzy vision. Here are some of thehighlights:
From Carmen (Somewhere in NC) who said: "Oooh... soft light... also likeCybill Shepherd when she played Maddie in Moonlighting. She always had theprivilege of soft focus."
From Jess Smith (Seattle, WA) who said: "So in your eyes, I look youngerthan I am? Sounds good!"
From Holly (Tallahassee, FL) who said: "Congrats on your new eyeballs!"
From Simone (New York, NY) who said: "you're telling me that BarbaraWalters isn't always surrounded by 'soft light?' I thought she always hadthat glow - morning, noon and night."
And finally, from Mija (Northfield, MN) who said: "Hopefully, the world willclear up - I can imagine that soft lens around you all the time would getirritating - wouldn't it look like everyone was about to fall in love orsomething stupid like that?"
NOTE: My vision is still a little fuzzy, but the burning searing pain andgumminess has pretty much gone (kidding).
+===========================+
My wonderful nephew called me up this week. He is 3-1/2 years old and nevertalks to ANYONE on the phone. So it was very surreal to have this tinylittle voice asked me, "How are you, Komo (that's Korean for Aunt onFather's side)?" I was floored. I can't believe he called! He just wantedto say hi and asked me what I had for dinner. When I told him I had hotdogs (which I did. I have been craving hot dogs for about 3 weeks, but Ijust had the dogs, no buns), he was extremely happy because he likes hotdogs. The call ended with him screaming and laughing and running away fromthe phone, which is his more typical phone behavior.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Steven, Carey, The Marthas, Bob and Russell (aka the Other Bob), Marcie,Sunita, Greg, Sally, Audrey, Claire, Sasha and Tad! Thanks for one rockin'night of karaoke!
Mike, Jen and Graham, thanks
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscpoes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Thanks for all of the comments re: my fuzzy vision. Here are some of thehighlights:
From Carmen (Somewhere in NC) who said: "Oooh... soft light... also likeCybill Shepherd when she played Maddie in Moonlighting. She always had theprivilege of soft focus."
From Jess Smith (Seattle, WA) who said: "So in your eyes, I look youngerthan I am? Sounds good!"
From Holly (Tallahassee, FL) who said: "Congrats on your new eyeballs!"
From Simone (New York, NY) who said: "you're telling me that BarbaraWalters isn't always surrounded by 'soft light?' I thought she always hadthat glow - morning, noon and night."
And finally, from Mija (Northfield, MN) who said: "Hopefully, the world willclear up - I can imagine that soft lens around you all the time would getirritating - wouldn't it look like everyone was about to fall in love orsomething stupid like that?"
NOTE: My vision is still a little fuzzy, but the burning searing pain andgumminess has pretty much gone (kidding).
+===========================+
My wonderful nephew called me up this week. He is 3-1/2 years old and nevertalks to ANYONE on the phone. So it was very surreal to have this tinylittle voice asked me, "How are you, Komo (that's Korean for Aunt onFather's side)?" I was floored. I can't believe he called! He just wantedto say hi and asked me what I had for dinner. When I told him I had hotdogs (which I did. I have been craving hot dogs for about 3 weeks, but Ijust had the dogs, no buns), he was extremely happy because he likes hotdogs. The call ended with him screaming and laughing and running away fromthe phone, which is his more typical phone behavior.
+===========================+
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Steven, Carey, The Marthas, Bob and Russell (aka the Other Bob), Marcie,Sunita, Greg, Sally, Audrey, Claire, Sasha and Tad! Thanks for one rockin'night of karaoke!
Mike, Jen and Graham, thanks
+===========================+
Check out your weekly horoscpoes at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
mike
you know, it's no wonder that I am totally not squeamish when you realize that I have a brother who sends me pictures of himself doing things like this. Thanks, Mike! So proud am I.
Friday, August 5, 2005
I am experiencing a time delay of 3 hours (8/5/05)
Since I am not supposed to spend too much time staring at the computer, this week’s a short one.
+============================+
I got LASIK and now I see 20/20. The surgery and the recovery have been pain-free. Things are still sort of fuzzy – but I can see. There is just this softness around everything. It’s like when TV shows put the “soft light” on an older actress/persona, e.g. Barbara Walters. The entire image of her gets a little fuzzy. Well, everything is a little fuzzy for me right now. I have to put drops in my eyes many times a day and I can’t swim for one month. I am sure those older ladies at the aqua aerobics are wondering where I went.
+============================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
> Sandy, thanks for hosting and dragging me around LA for bridal things
> Fryvette and FRohnna, thanks so much!!!
> Frob and FRussell
> FrErtischek
> Freven
+============================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
By Rob Brezsny
Horoscopes for week of August 3rd, 2005
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+============================+
I got LASIK and now I see 20/20. The surgery and the recovery have been pain-free. Things are still sort of fuzzy – but I can see. There is just this softness around everything. It’s like when TV shows put the “soft light” on an older actress/persona, e.g. Barbara Walters. The entire image of her gets a little fuzzy. Well, everything is a little fuzzy for me right now. I have to put drops in my eyes many times a day and I can’t swim for one month. I am sure those older ladies at the aqua aerobics are wondering where I went.
+============================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
> Sandy, thanks for hosting and dragging me around LA for bridal things
> Fryvette and FRohnna, thanks so much!!!
> Frob and FRussell
> FrErtischek
> Freven
+============================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
By Rob Brezsny
Horoscopes for week of August 3rd, 2005
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
post Chinese food bloat (7-27-05)
OK, update on the haikus. There are three judges and I have only received responses from 1 (Thanks). One judge is traveling and the other was traveling and now has returned and probably conveniently forgotten that [put the name of this person here] is a judge. (Notice how I don’t use a pronoun to describe the judge. I am soooo sneaky.)
So, no results for the haikus yet. So, please, stop asking.
+==========================+
http://www.forbes.com/2005/07/25/singles-best-cities_cx_05sing_0725land.html
The best city for singles is Denver, Colorado. I think this is because it’s full of hippies.
And I have to disagree about Boston. I mean, come on, Boston??? If you like 18 year olds… Wait, I change my mind – Boston is good.
+==========================+
So on Friday I am getting LASIK surgery. I am very excited about this because I am sick and tired of my glasses. Yes, this is an elective surgery and yes, I probably don’t need to get it done, but I want it. I have been thinking about it for some time. I especially think about it when I am in the swimming pool, wearing an old pair of glasses that I don’t mind getting mucked up. Yes, I am that blind. However, when I am at the pool, I am usually swimming around with a bunch of 70 year olds in my aqua aerobics class; so wearing glasses in the pool is no biggie considering they are wearing extremely worn out bathing suits and have liver spots the size of Dakota.
I also have thought about LASIK when on rollercoasters; when falling asleep with my glasses on and turning over and bending them out of shape; when I stepped on a pair once; when I broke a lens out of my current pair after I dropped it on the floor; when I have to switch between my prescription glasses to my prescription sunglasses; when I went waterskiing (once and it was disastrous); and most of all, when I am in the shower and have to either lift my leg up to my face or bend down and squish my eyeball to my leg when shaving my legs.
Of course, once I get rid of my glasses, I will have to deal with lots of non-eyeglass wearing issues, such as: all sorts of flying debris landing in my eyes, splattering oil from a frying pan, and wearing protective eye gear while sawing things in half, you know, the everyday issues for a non-eyeglass wearing person.
Owell.
+==========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
SANDY!!!!! See you tomorrow morning, IN LA!!!!
Anybody’s birthday that I happened to miss
Lynda
SunAe
Bob and Russell
Carey, Steven and Martha G. (I am still dreaming of that smoked trout)
Congrats, Martha A!
So, no results for the haikus yet. So, please, stop asking.
+==========================+
http://www.forbes.com/2005/07/25/singles-best-cities_cx_05sing_0725land.html
The best city for singles is Denver, Colorado. I think this is because it’s full of hippies.
And I have to disagree about Boston. I mean, come on, Boston??? If you like 18 year olds… Wait, I change my mind – Boston is good.
+==========================+
So on Friday I am getting LASIK surgery. I am very excited about this because I am sick and tired of my glasses. Yes, this is an elective surgery and yes, I probably don’t need to get it done, but I want it. I have been thinking about it for some time. I especially think about it when I am in the swimming pool, wearing an old pair of glasses that I don’t mind getting mucked up. Yes, I am that blind. However, when I am at the pool, I am usually swimming around with a bunch of 70 year olds in my aqua aerobics class; so wearing glasses in the pool is no biggie considering they are wearing extremely worn out bathing suits and have liver spots the size of Dakota.
I also have thought about LASIK when on rollercoasters; when falling asleep with my glasses on and turning over and bending them out of shape; when I stepped on a pair once; when I broke a lens out of my current pair after I dropped it on the floor; when I have to switch between my prescription glasses to my prescription sunglasses; when I went waterskiing (once and it was disastrous); and most of all, when I am in the shower and have to either lift my leg up to my face or bend down and squish my eyeball to my leg when shaving my legs.
Of course, once I get rid of my glasses, I will have to deal with lots of non-eyeglass wearing issues, such as: all sorts of flying debris landing in my eyes, splattering oil from a frying pan, and wearing protective eye gear while sawing things in half, you know, the everyday issues for a non-eyeglass wearing person.
Owell.
+==========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
SANDY!!!!! See you tomorrow morning, IN LA!!!!
Anybody’s birthday that I happened to miss
Lynda
SunAe
Bob and Russell
Carey, Steven and Martha G. (I am still dreaming of that smoked trout)
Congrats, Martha A!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
So itchy!!!!!!!! (7-20-05)
My apologies for the lack of horoscopes last week. The week escaped me.
+=======================+
So the weekend of July 4th, I was in Vermont at Jen Brown’s family place and a bunch of us decided to do the John Langhans Independence Run, organized by the Woodstock Community Center, in the neighboring town of Woodstock, VT. I don’t run, but I planned to walk the 7.2 mi. The race started at 8 AM and I quickly noticed that there were no other walkers. Just me. So I went on my merry way. The race is goes around Woodstock over these giant hills and through the town. Well, I was going at a pretty good pace until I noticed there was no mile 3 marker. I thought, that is strange. And there were no more water stations. I thought, hmm, that’s screwed up. AND THEN I noticed that flat bed trucks carrying the water station people and the water were driving past me. Yes, they decided that since the majority of people had finished the race, they would close shop. They did stop by and check on me twice to see that I had enough water. But basically I was left alone, wandering the hills of Woodstock, VT. It was ok – beautiful scenery, long stretches of road. The only scary part was this hill – very steep and isolated. I was thanking the gods that I was wearing a bright orange t-shirt – I didn’t want to be hunted down. Well, I finished the “race” and was congratulated by my friends. However, the race officials were all gone, the medals were already handed out. So thanks for nothing, Woodstock Community Center!
(see http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/ for photos)
But other than that, a mighty fine weekend.
+=======================+
Those great goons at Google have created a masterpiece. Check out this link and zoom in as close as possible to the moon’s surface.
http://moon.google.com/
Also check out additional information via the link, “More about Moon Google.”
Thanks, Steven, for the link!
+=======================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FRANNIE!
CONGRATULATIONS TO FRIM DECKER, totally awesome person and cancer survivor, who finished her first triathlon (pix on http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FRERTISCHEK
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FROB MADISON
Congratulations to FRally and FRodd + 2
Congratulations to FRunita and Freg + 1
Can’t wait to see you next week, FRandy!
XOXOXOXO to FRen FRrown, FRAnnie, FRabney, FRAshlee, FRess, FRillip, FRarmela, FRIsaac and of course, my lovah, FRiedler
+=======================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 21, 2005
By Rob Brezsny© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+=======================+
So the weekend of July 4th, I was in Vermont at Jen Brown’s family place and a bunch of us decided to do the John Langhans Independence Run, organized by the Woodstock Community Center, in the neighboring town of Woodstock, VT. I don’t run, but I planned to walk the 7.2 mi. The race started at 8 AM and I quickly noticed that there were no other walkers. Just me. So I went on my merry way. The race is goes around Woodstock over these giant hills and through the town. Well, I was going at a pretty good pace until I noticed there was no mile 3 marker. I thought, that is strange. And there were no more water stations. I thought, hmm, that’s screwed up. AND THEN I noticed that flat bed trucks carrying the water station people and the water were driving past me. Yes, they decided that since the majority of people had finished the race, they would close shop. They did stop by and check on me twice to see that I had enough water. But basically I was left alone, wandering the hills of Woodstock, VT. It was ok – beautiful scenery, long stretches of road. The only scary part was this hill – very steep and isolated. I was thanking the gods that I was wearing a bright orange t-shirt – I didn’t want to be hunted down. Well, I finished the “race” and was congratulated by my friends. However, the race officials were all gone, the medals were already handed out. So thanks for nothing, Woodstock Community Center!
(see http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/ for photos)
But other than that, a mighty fine weekend.
+=======================+
Those great goons at Google have created a masterpiece. Check out this link and zoom in as close as possible to the moon’s surface.
http://moon.google.com/
Also check out additional information via the link, “More about Moon Google.”
Thanks, Steven, for the link!
+=======================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FRANNIE!
CONGRATULATIONS TO FRIM DECKER, totally awesome person and cancer survivor, who finished her first triathlon (pix on http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FRERTISCHEK
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FROB MADISON
Congratulations to FRally and FRodd + 2
Congratulations to FRunita and Freg + 1
Can’t wait to see you next week, FRandy!
XOXOXOXO to FRen FRrown, FRAnnie, FRabney, FRAshlee, FRess, FRillip, FRarmela, FRIsaac and of course, my lovah, FRiedler
+=======================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of July 21, 2005
By Rob Brezsny© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
IndepenDANCE Day Crew! John Langhans Run Woodstock VT
Here's the team photo! The t-shirts said "John Langhans Independance Day run." Nice spelling.
KIM swim finish
These are photos of my lovely friend Kim, who just finished her first triathlon. I am so proud!
Here's Kim at the finish of the swim portion of the triathlon.
Here's Kim at the finish of the swim portion of the triathlon.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
feidler gothic
Annie and Dabney have been at it again. Here's Feidler in the great American painting, American Gothic. Can you tell which one is Feidler?
Monday, July 11, 2005
Thursday, July 7, 2005
July 4th weekend
Went to Vermont for the long weekend and luckily, other people remember what happened. Check out http://ashleemcclelland.pingwellesley.com/ July 6th post for the blow by blow. Will add more later.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
urgent, urgent, emergency! (6/30/05)
http://www.wheredidthetimego.com/
I am 100% sloth. But that’s not that surprising.
+=============================+
According to a news source, I have become fodder for the paparazzi in Greece. Reportedly the Greek media has picked up (via Google) a dedication in my email (via blogger.com: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com) to George Costacos (my friend who was in the opening ceremony of the Athens Olympics). The NY office for Costacos has been flooded by calls about me and my friendship with George; however, we have tastefully declined comment.
+=============================+
THE HORROR IN THE GARAGE: PART 2
I went home to Jacksonville last Friday. I thought it was going to be an easy visit, just hanging out with the folks, getting some errands done, but otherwise nothing too bad. But then Saturday morning, my father looked at me and said eagerly, “So, let’s go clean the garage!” I thought he was joking. But he wasn’t. He was serious. I think my family thinks my sole purpose in life is cleaning the damn garage. So, given no choice, I went back to the garage.
Well, last time we were there, the attic was cleaned out BY ME and a lot of the junk in the garage was cleaned out BY ME. Well, this time, my father and I went through the smaller boxes of stuff I was too tired to go through last time. And it was with good cause that I didn’t go through these boxes, because unbeknownst to me, my parents saved every receipt, statement, cancelled check, tax return INCLUDING forms, from 1972 to today. I am not kidding. There was a 1974 Ohio state tax form booklet in one of the boxes. There was a grocery receipt from 1980 that showed a purchase of a dozen extra large eggs, $0.79. And carbon copies of gas station receipts. Cancelled checks which paid rent in the Henry Hudson Hotel, which back in the early 70s was subsidized hospital housing (today, it is http://www.hudsonhotel.com/ *). YEARS OF LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER STASHED AWAY INSIDE PAPER BAGS INSIDE A LARGER BOX.
And because they had credit card numbers and signatures on them, we had to shred each and every statement, etc. by hand. Yes, my parents do own a shredder, but we tried using that and after an hour of consistent shredding, it turned itself off due to overheating. The shredder came back to life after it cooled down, but we had to forge on with the hand shredding.
This shredding went on for two days. We only got from 1972-1980. I know when I go back to FL, 1980-today is waiting. So frightening. The horror, the horror….
* Now I hate this hotel because it used to be all low income housing until the hotel owners bought the property. They kicked out almost all of the tenants and kept a small portion of the hotel as low income housing – not only due to pressures from the tenants but also because they get a nice chunk of change back from the city for keeping the low income housing. And of course, the low income housing tenants have a separate entrance from the hotel).
+=============================+
When I was in Jacksonville, I ran into someone at the Jacksonville International (HA) airport. It was James Joyner, whom I went to school with from 2nd grade (or was it first?) through 12th grade. First of all I never run into anyone I know at the airport. Never happens. Especially in Jacksonville. I keep on the lookout, just in case there is someone I don’t want to speak to. Anyway, I was walking off the jetway and there was James, who I was actually happy to see. So, for those in Jax who are looking for a pediatrician, he is opening his own practice in Arlington.
+=============================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!
The Marthas
My brother Mike
Can’t wait to see you, Annie, Dabney, Jen Brown, and the rest of the gang in green, green Vermont!
+=============================+
Checkout your weekly Rob Brezsny horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 30, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
I am 100% sloth. But that’s not that surprising.
+=============================+
According to a news source, I have become fodder for the paparazzi in Greece. Reportedly the Greek media has picked up (via Google) a dedication in my email (via blogger.com: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com) to George Costacos (my friend who was in the opening ceremony of the Athens Olympics). The NY office for Costacos has been flooded by calls about me and my friendship with George; however, we have tastefully declined comment.
+=============================+
THE HORROR IN THE GARAGE: PART 2
I went home to Jacksonville last Friday. I thought it was going to be an easy visit, just hanging out with the folks, getting some errands done, but otherwise nothing too bad. But then Saturday morning, my father looked at me and said eagerly, “So, let’s go clean the garage!” I thought he was joking. But he wasn’t. He was serious. I think my family thinks my sole purpose in life is cleaning the damn garage. So, given no choice, I went back to the garage.
Well, last time we were there, the attic was cleaned out BY ME and a lot of the junk in the garage was cleaned out BY ME. Well, this time, my father and I went through the smaller boxes of stuff I was too tired to go through last time. And it was with good cause that I didn’t go through these boxes, because unbeknownst to me, my parents saved every receipt, statement, cancelled check, tax return INCLUDING forms, from 1972 to today. I am not kidding. There was a 1974 Ohio state tax form booklet in one of the boxes. There was a grocery receipt from 1980 that showed a purchase of a dozen extra large eggs, $0.79. And carbon copies of gas station receipts. Cancelled checks which paid rent in the Henry Hudson Hotel, which back in the early 70s was subsidized hospital housing (today, it is http://www.hudsonhotel.com/ *). YEARS OF LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER STASHED AWAY INSIDE PAPER BAGS INSIDE A LARGER BOX.
And because they had credit card numbers and signatures on them, we had to shred each and every statement, etc. by hand. Yes, my parents do own a shredder, but we tried using that and after an hour of consistent shredding, it turned itself off due to overheating. The shredder came back to life after it cooled down, but we had to forge on with the hand shredding.
This shredding went on for two days. We only got from 1972-1980. I know when I go back to FL, 1980-today is waiting. So frightening. The horror, the horror….
* Now I hate this hotel because it used to be all low income housing until the hotel owners bought the property. They kicked out almost all of the tenants and kept a small portion of the hotel as low income housing – not only due to pressures from the tenants but also because they get a nice chunk of change back from the city for keeping the low income housing. And of course, the low income housing tenants have a separate entrance from the hotel).
+=============================+
When I was in Jacksonville, I ran into someone at the Jacksonville International (HA) airport. It was James Joyner, whom I went to school with from 2nd grade (or was it first?) through 12th grade. First of all I never run into anyone I know at the airport. Never happens. Especially in Jacksonville. I keep on the lookout, just in case there is someone I don’t want to speak to. Anyway, I was walking off the jetway and there was James, who I was actually happy to see. So, for those in Jax who are looking for a pediatrician, he is opening his own practice in Arlington.
+=============================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!
The Marthas
My brother Mike
Can’t wait to see you, Annie, Dabney, Jen Brown, and the rest of the gang in green, green Vermont!
+=============================+
Checkout your weekly Rob Brezsny horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 30, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
"Anti-Michelle"
My sister in law once called my apartment the museum of tiny things. It's true -- I have an obsession with tiny things. So, pal Steven sent me this, calling it the Anti Michelle. I do have to agree.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4117974.stm
Jesus feet
these shoes will leave an imprint on the sands of time.... and in poo as well!
www.shoesofthefisherman.com/
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
moldy isn't always good
From Real Simple magazine's article, "Surprising Expiration Dates
A handy, who-knew guide for 77 foods, beauty products, and household goods"
I just recently threw out a jar of pickled beets that I can't remember when I last used. It definitely wasn't this year or last....
http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/print/0,22304,676079,00.html#
itchy eyelids (6-22-05)
I don’t know what my bosses are thinking. They are actually making me work today. That is just so wrong.
+========================+
RE: SUMMER
Yesterday ( June 21, 2005) was the first day of summer. Mine was good – how was yours?
+========================+
RE: THONG PANTS
Addendum: Humans can send other humans, monkeys and dogs to the moon AND engineer pants to lift and separate, but somehow we can’t design underwear that doesn’t ride up or cause wedgies. Why is that?
+========================+
RE: AGE:
I was recently told that I am the same age as when Jesus died.
+========================+
RE: THINGS YOU NEED TO BUY RIGHT NOW
My friends Annie and Dabney are selling their wares at the Renegade craft fair this weekend in New York. I am not sure where their booth will be, but check them out!
Howdy friends -
At long last, we are headed down to Brooklyn for the RENEGADE craft fair this weekend! If you (or any of your friends or family) are going to be in New York this weekend, please come visit us at:
McCarren Park
on June 25th and 26th
in Brooklyn, NY
10:30am - 5:00pm
Booth 79
www.renegadecraft.com
The park is located right down the street from the Williamsburg Bridge on Bedford Avenue. By train it is a couple of blocks away from the Bedford Avenue stop on the L train, and the Nassau Avenue stop on the G train.
At some point this week, we hope to post a preview of our inventory on the blog, so please check in if you are interested. We’ve already had a lot of requests for certain items, so please know that we hope to start selling to friends and family after the fair - if we have anything left ;)
Thanks for all the encouragement and support!
- Dabney & Ann
http://superette.blogspot.com
+========================+
Check out this and more at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Alex and Marcie
The Marthas
Good Luck, Annie and Dabney!
+========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 23, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
+========================+
RE: SUMMER
Yesterday ( June 21, 2005) was the first day of summer. Mine was good – how was yours?
+========================+
RE: THONG PANTS
Addendum: Humans can send other humans, monkeys and dogs to the moon AND engineer pants to lift and separate, but somehow we can’t design underwear that doesn’t ride up or cause wedgies. Why is that?
+========================+
RE: AGE:
I was recently told that I am the same age as when Jesus died.
+========================+
RE: THINGS YOU NEED TO BUY RIGHT NOW
My friends Annie and Dabney are selling their wares at the Renegade craft fair this weekend in New York. I am not sure where their booth will be, but check them out!
Howdy friends -
At long last, we are headed down to Brooklyn for the RENEGADE craft fair this weekend! If you (or any of your friends or family) are going to be in New York this weekend, please come visit us at:
McCarren Park
on June 25th and 26th
in Brooklyn, NY
10:30am - 5:00pm
Booth 79
www.renegadecraft.com
The park is located right down the street from the Williamsburg Bridge on Bedford Avenue. By train it is a couple of blocks away from the Bedford Avenue stop on the L train, and the Nassau Avenue stop on the G train.
At some point this week, we hope to post a preview of our inventory on the blog, so please check in if you are interested. We’ve already had a lot of requests for certain items, so please know that we hope to start selling to friends and family after the fair - if we have anything left ;)
Thanks for all the encouragement and support!
- Dabney & Ann
http://superette.blogspot.com
+========================+
Check out this and more at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+========================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Alex and Marcie
The Marthas
Good Luck, Annie and Dabney!
+========================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 23, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
curly head
Ok -- I got this from a Korean website (thanks Sun Ae!) which showed lots of pictures of guys and their personal hairstyles. This guy really likes his perm. It took him a while to grow it long enough to make this statement. What a statement!
spondulicks! spondulicks! spondulicks! (6/16/05)
BE FOREWARN; BE FOUR ARMED:
THONG PANTS. YES, THEY ARE OUT THERE, WAITING TO LIFT AND SEPARATE YOU!
I have known for a while that there is new technology in pants today. Lycra definitely opened the door to pants technology - allowing the user to stretch and move while still looking good. Today, pants technology has surpassed all of our expectations and now can define your butt. Yes, it’s true. Don’t waste your time doing squats and lunges in the gym - just put on some mechanically engineered jeans that will lift and create a butt that you technically don’t have! Of course, these jeans costs over $150, but what’s a little cash for a cheap butt lift?
However, I am not sure if everyone knows that there are pants available now that act as a thong. I am not talking about those loose cotton pajama like pants that crawl up everyone’s ass as they walk (sit, lie down, roll over) - I am talking about dress pants and jeans that are meant to be worn in public. They not only lift and define the butt, but they also divide and conquer. I know what you are thinking - couldn’t it be a short inseam? No. There are short inseams and then there are pants that were made to purposely lift, divide AND separate.
Now I really know what you are thinking—Michelle, are you staring at people’s butts as you walk to work?
And the answer is simply Yes - I am looking at your ass. It’s hard to not to stare. Especially if you notice that a person’s clean cut chinos are creating a continental divide.
It’s not only a divider but an equalizer; there are thong pants out there for men as well. I have seen it and nine times out of ten it is not a pretty sight.
+==================+
FROM MY BRILLIANT FRIEND, CAITLYN IN DC:
“you know, having sampled a variety of bathrooms in the capitol, I’ve noticed that the crappy toilet paper (i.e. the tissue paper dispenser kind) can only be found around the press gallery. hmmm, Congress does get the last laugh!”
AND
“P.S. I also learned that the men’s bathroom near the house chambers is called the Fonzie and is where all the deals take place. (It’s an homage to Fonzie’s bathroom office in Al’s, but I don’t think there’s a congressman that can hit a jukebox and make it start.”
+==================+
From Delta Airlines weekly email:
DOMESTIC FARE SPECIALS*
*Additional taxes/fees/restrictions apply. Fares shown are available only for purchase on delta.com of from a travel agent.
New York-LaGuardia, NY (LGA) to:
-- Newark, NJ (EWR) - $138
Now, why in the world would you want to fly from LaGuardia to Newark, New Jersey, which is approx. 26 miles difference from each other.
+==================+
Get this and more at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+==================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Happy Belated Birthday, Martha!
Congratulations on the journal publication, Ertischek! http://www.eblue.org/scripts/om.dll/serve?action=searchDB&searchDBfor=art&artType=abs&id=as0190962205004408&nav=abs
Thanks Saumya!
Howdy Sunita and Audrey!
+==================+
Check out your weekly horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 16, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
That isn't right (6/8/05)
ADVERTISEMENT #1:
My friends Annie and Dabney are selling their wares ;) at the Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn on Saturday + Sunday, June 25 + 26 from 10:30 AM - 5:00 PM, in McCarren Park which is located at N. 12th St and Bedford Ave.
For more information on Annie and Dabney crafts: http://superette.blogspot.com
For more information on the Renegade Craft Fair: http://www.renegadecraft.com/brooklyn/index.html
+=================+
ADVERTISEMENT #2:
This is the cutest commercial.
http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/1732/
+=================+
ADVERTISEMENT #3:
The McDLT. http://www.retrojunk.com/media/114/
Really, nothing more needs to be said.
+=================+
Check this out and more at: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+=================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY AWESOME BROTHER, MIKE
Lynn
Steven
Dave, Shima, Mike, Paul
Belated congratulations to Nichole and her hubby, Peter
+=================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 9, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
My friends Annie and Dabney are selling their wares ;) at the Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn on Saturday + Sunday, June 25 + 26 from 10:30 AM - 5:00 PM, in McCarren Park which is located at N. 12th St and Bedford Ave.
For more information on Annie and Dabney crafts: http://superette.blogspot.com
For more information on the Renegade Craft Fair: http://www.renegadecraft.com/brooklyn/index.html
+=================+
ADVERTISEMENT #2:
This is the cutest commercial.
http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/1732/
+=================+
ADVERTISEMENT #3:
The McDLT. http://www.retrojunk.com/media/114/
Really, nothing more needs to be said.
+=================+
Check this out and more at: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+=================+
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY AWESOME BROTHER, MIKE
Lynn
Steven
Dave, Shima, Mike, Paul
Belated congratulations to Nichole and her hubby, Peter
+=================+
Check out your horoscope at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 9, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 6, 2005
oh so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad (6/6/05)
Yes, I forgot to send out the horoscopes last week. Oops.
=======================
And to all of you who keep asking me where the winners are for the haikus, well, I refer you to the statement above, removing the words “horoscopes last week” and replacing them with “the entries to the judges and you will just have to hold your horses.”
=======================
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 2, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
=======================
And to all of you who keep asking me where the winners are for the haikus, well, I refer you to the statement above, removing the words “horoscopes last week” and replacing them with “the entries to the judges and you will just have to hold your horses.”
=======================
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of June 2, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Friday, May 27, 2005
mcdlt
It's Jason Alexander in the McDLT commercial for McDonald's! Remember the McDLT? It kept the cold side cold and the hot side hot. So stupid, but ingenious at the SAME TIME.
http://www.retrojunk.com/media/114/
(Thanks for the web site, Steven!)
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
bother, brouhaha, bustle, clamor, excitement, flap, hoo-ha, hoopla, hubbub, hurly-burly, hurrah, pother, ruction, rumpus, (5/25/05)
shindig, stir, tumult, turmoil, unrest, uproar, whirl
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
KIMBERLY HECKSCHER DECKER – the most incredible woman I know – sponsored me for the AIDS WALK and I callously forgot to credit her for her generosity. So to make it up to her, this entire horoscope is dedicated to her!
KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM! KIM!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There is a mouse in my house. I knew it was there before. But now it is back with a vengeance.
If you know me, then you know that I am quite persnickety about cleanliness. I never leave food out. I always make sure that food is vacuum sealed for my and others protection. So I was very dismayed to see that some vermin had chewed through my rice bag to get at food. So, I got rid of all bagged items and purchased hard plastic containers that are almost impossible to chew through. I guess the mouse got REALLY hungry, because it decided to show itself in broad daylight, in the middle of my kitchen, in order to get at the garbage bag. The garbage bag was securely closed, but it is an open canister, leaving the mouse plenty of room to frolic.
And it was a big sucker. Euw.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As long as you didn’t concentrate on the dialogue or the acting, STAR WARS III: Revenge of the Sith was awesome! I am going to see it again!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Well, dig my grave and bury me dead, I found a white nostril hair!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To see the past, go to: http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com/
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out your horoscopes for the week of May 26, 2005 at www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/printer-friendly.html
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Let the Force be with you! (5-18-05)
AIDS WALK REPORT:
Thanks to the following for their support!
Bob Madison and Russell Frost, In Memory of Mason
Alex Cancio, In Honor of Lone Tony, Pyra the Punk and all our fabulous friends
Steven Kane, In Honor of Michelle, the Potato Guy, Grandma (E.M.A.) and the always adored Cocknosticator
Elaine Bauer
Sarah Dwyer
Lori Wong
Caitlyn Kim
Michelle Ertischek
And a special thanks to Mary Alice Elmoor, Mark Steyn and Lauren Katz for walking with me.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know who designed these, but that person deserves an award! (Thanks, Alex!)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0007VW2LM/sr=1-1/qid=1116007646/ref=sr_1_1/104-9013924-5171923?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=1036682&s=apparel&v=glance
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To those who plan to be out “sick” on Thursday, May 19th, in order to go see Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, I salute you.
(Thanks, Bob!)
http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/46373.htm
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!
http://shop.starwars.com/catalog/category.xml?category_id=322
You know, StarWars.com really should have a gift/bridal registry.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Can you tell I am excited about Star Wars III?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Mija, Kevin and Mark, wish I could be there!
Sandy
Michelle E
The Marthas
Saumya
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 19, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Check out your horoscope at:
Thanks to the following for their support!
Bob Madison and Russell Frost, In Memory of Mason
Alex Cancio, In Honor of Lone Tony, Pyra the Punk and all our fabulous friends
Steven Kane, In Honor of Michelle, the Potato Guy, Grandma (E.M.A.) and the always adored Cocknosticator
Elaine Bauer
Sarah Dwyer
Lori Wong
Caitlyn Kim
Michelle Ertischek
And a special thanks to Mary Alice Elmoor, Mark Steyn and Lauren Katz for walking with me.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know who designed these, but that person deserves an award! (Thanks, Alex!)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0007VW2LM/sr=1-1/qid=1116007646/ref=sr_1_1/104-9013924-5171923?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=1036682&s=apparel&v=glance
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To those who plan to be out “sick” on Thursday, May 19th, in order to go see Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, I salute you.
(Thanks, Bob!)
http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/46373.htm
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!
http://shop.starwars.com/catalog/category.xml?category_id=322
You know, StarWars.com really should have a gift/bridal registry.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Can you tell I am excited about Star Wars III?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Mija, Kevin and Mark, wish I could be there!
Sandy
Michelle E
The Marthas
Saumya
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Free Will Astrology
Horoscopes for week of May 19, 2005
By Rob Brezsny
© 1995-2004, Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved.
Check out your horoscope at:
Friday, May 13, 2005
store: star wars treasure
I don’t know who designed these, but that person deserves an award!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0007VW2LM/sr=1-1/qid=1116007646/ref=sr_1_1/104-9013924-5171923?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=1036682&s=apparel&v=glance
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0007VW2LM/sr=1-1/qid=1116007646/ref=sr_1_1/104-9013924-5171923?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=1036682&s=apparel&v=glance
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I am Queen of the Hill People! (5-12-05)
CORRECTION: In my last email, I implied that Cheryl Cortez Johnson married Dan Cohn. In fact, she did not marry Dan Cohn.
********************************
So what happened in Florida? Well, first, my parents have lived in their house for more than 26 years. In those 26 years, they threw nothing out. Well, they threw some things out, but they did save a lot of stuff. Recently they decided to buy a house in Orlando and move there to retire. (Yes, retire in Orlando. It baffles me as well)
The end result is I get the great privilege to clean out the house. So when I went home to Jacksonville recently, my family gave me the greatest gift of all: the opportunity to clean out the attic.
Attics, in general, are a scary, scary place. Growing up I refused to go up in the attic. I am sure it started because my brother told me that there was an ax murderer living up there. I am also sure it is because it was a hot, dusty, smelly place filled with pink insulation.
Most people in their right mind would never put stuff in an attic in FL. My parents however thought it was the perfect place to store stuff. Actually at one time, squirrels also thought that the attic was the perfect place to store stuff. A group of squirrels moved into the attic for a period of time, spawning little squirrels, leaving lots of dung balls and digging through the insulation.
Over the years, my parents threw boxes that they thought would come in handy into the attic. My Barbies and other toys went into the attic - with the thought that my kids would play with them. Folding chairs, beach chairs, life vests and really ugly paintings went into the attic.
When I went home to FL, my 3-year old nephew was also there and he wanted to go into the attic with me. He was very excited about it. He got out a flashlight and put on his shoes. He climbed up the rickety ladder and peeked his head into the attic. And then he quickly cried out that it was scary and he didn’t like it and he wanted to get down.
So no nephew to help (not that I expected him to help me clean out the insulation -filled, 115 degree attic. I am cruel, but not that cruel).
I don’t know if you are familiar with insulation but it is damn itchy stuff. It’s got lots of bad, bad things in it, especially insulation from the early 80s. I prepared by putting on a long sleeve Peter Maxx t-shirt that I wore in the 80s and a pair of royal blue rayon genie pants that have these weird paisley pattern on it. I wore white socks over the pants and plastic gloves. I was ready.
It was hell. It smelled. Mold had grown over stuff. It was hot. And there was a ton of stuff. My parents saved boxes for stuff that they no longer owned. My Barbies had melted together into one large Barbie. My Ken doll had a plastic Coke can stuck to his arm. The beach chairs, which had metal frames and that plastic weaving, now just had the metal frames. The plastic weaving biodegraded in the heat.
I tossed out boxes and boxes and bags of stuff from that attic. I dragged all of the crap onto the curb and hoped to the gods that the sanitation workers would take it all away. The trash actually took over half of the driveway.
On the morning of trash day, my mom and I hid out, away from the windows, waiting to hear the sounds of the garbage truck. The truck usually comes in the early morning, but that day, they were late. My mom and I didn’t want to leave the house until way after the garbage got hauled away. I was afraid that if the sanitation workers saw us, they would start hurling the attic trash at our heads. My mom wanted to go out there and give them cold Coca Colas for their trouble. In the end, we were too chicken to go outside. And the windows did not give us full view of what was going on.
Later, after the truck moved down the street, we dared to open the garage door and see the aftermath. And to our surprise, there was nothing left. They took it all. We were so happy that we left to celebrate by going to the post office (this is how senior citizen’s party).
********************************
What else happened in FL? Well, I got bitten by bugs and I took my mom, sister in law and nephew to a place called Clark’s Fish Camp. It is in the middle of nowhere and it looks like a shed in the middle of the swamp. And it smells like a shed in the middle of a swamp. And inside there were animals. All sorts of stuffed animals. Not only animals from FL, but gazelles, zebras, flamingos, and other animals. All striking poses. Caught in angry stares. And they were all grouped above your head in the main dining room. And there were animals sounds piped in over the speaker system,. I was soooo creepy. My nephew was also scared of this place as well. And so was my sister in law. And so was my mother. But I thought the shrimp was good.
********************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Backscratchers
Carey and Steven
The Foodies who play mah jongg, I salute you
Happy Birthday, Saumya
Happy Graduation, Martha
Happy Finals, Lynn, Michelle and Young Mee
********************************
So what happened in Florida? Well, first, my parents have lived in their house for more than 26 years. In those 26 years, they threw nothing out. Well, they threw some things out, but they did save a lot of stuff. Recently they decided to buy a house in Orlando and move there to retire. (Yes, retire in Orlando. It baffles me as well)
The end result is I get the great privilege to clean out the house. So when I went home to Jacksonville recently, my family gave me the greatest gift of all: the opportunity to clean out the attic.
Attics, in general, are a scary, scary place. Growing up I refused to go up in the attic. I am sure it started because my brother told me that there was an ax murderer living up there. I am also sure it is because it was a hot, dusty, smelly place filled with pink insulation.
Most people in their right mind would never put stuff in an attic in FL. My parents however thought it was the perfect place to store stuff. Actually at one time, squirrels also thought that the attic was the perfect place to store stuff. A group of squirrels moved into the attic for a period of time, spawning little squirrels, leaving lots of dung balls and digging through the insulation.
Over the years, my parents threw boxes that they thought would come in handy into the attic. My Barbies and other toys went into the attic - with the thought that my kids would play with them. Folding chairs, beach chairs, life vests and really ugly paintings went into the attic.
When I went home to FL, my 3-year old nephew was also there and he wanted to go into the attic with me. He was very excited about it. He got out a flashlight and put on his shoes. He climbed up the rickety ladder and peeked his head into the attic. And then he quickly cried out that it was scary and he didn’t like it and he wanted to get down.
So no nephew to help (not that I expected him to help me clean out the insulation -filled, 115 degree attic. I am cruel, but not that cruel).
I don’t know if you are familiar with insulation but it is damn itchy stuff. It’s got lots of bad, bad things in it, especially insulation from the early 80s. I prepared by putting on a long sleeve Peter Maxx t-shirt that I wore in the 80s and a pair of royal blue rayon genie pants that have these weird paisley pattern on it. I wore white socks over the pants and plastic gloves. I was ready.
It was hell. It smelled. Mold had grown over stuff. It was hot. And there was a ton of stuff. My parents saved boxes for stuff that they no longer owned. My Barbies had melted together into one large Barbie. My Ken doll had a plastic Coke can stuck to his arm. The beach chairs, which had metal frames and that plastic weaving, now just had the metal frames. The plastic weaving biodegraded in the heat.
I tossed out boxes and boxes and bags of stuff from that attic. I dragged all of the crap onto the curb and hoped to the gods that the sanitation workers would take it all away. The trash actually took over half of the driveway.
On the morning of trash day, my mom and I hid out, away from the windows, waiting to hear the sounds of the garbage truck. The truck usually comes in the early morning, but that day, they were late. My mom and I didn’t want to leave the house until way after the garbage got hauled away. I was afraid that if the sanitation workers saw us, they would start hurling the attic trash at our heads. My mom wanted to go out there and give them cold Coca Colas for their trouble. In the end, we were too chicken to go outside. And the windows did not give us full view of what was going on.
Later, after the truck moved down the street, we dared to open the garage door and see the aftermath. And to our surprise, there was nothing left. They took it all. We were so happy that we left to celebrate by going to the post office (this is how senior citizen’s party).
********************************
What else happened in FL? Well, I got bitten by bugs and I took my mom, sister in law and nephew to a place called Clark’s Fish Camp. It is in the middle of nowhere and it looks like a shed in the middle of the swamp. And it smells like a shed in the middle of a swamp. And inside there were animals. All sorts of stuffed animals. Not only animals from FL, but gazelles, zebras, flamingos, and other animals. All striking poses. Caught in angry stares. And they were all grouped above your head in the main dining room. And there were animals sounds piped in over the speaker system,. I was soooo creepy. My nephew was also scared of this place as well. And so was my sister in law. And so was my mother. But I thought the shrimp was good.
********************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Backscratchers
Carey and Steven
The Foodies who play mah jongg, I salute you
Happy Birthday, Saumya
Happy Graduation, Martha
Happy Finals, Lynn, Michelle and Young Mee
Friday, May 6, 2005
correction
In the email below, I imply that Cheryl married Dan. Dan pointed out to me that he is unaware that he married Cheryl. I think Cheryl would also be surprised that she married Dan without her knowledge.
Because of my poor English, my sentence implies that Dan and Cheryl got married. In fact, Cheryl married some guy with the last name Johnson and Dan is an alien from outer space.
Because of my poor English, my sentence implies that Dan and Cheryl got married. In fact, Cheryl married some guy with the last name Johnson and Dan is an alien from outer space.
craving of the minute: chocolate cake (5-6-05)
Lots of people were having problems receiving this email, so in order to torture everyone I know on a weekly basis, I am back to using my work email. Work will just have to deal.
-----------------------------------------------------
Catch up on old emails at girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
-----------------------------------------------------
HAIKU CONTEST:
I am lazy. Therefore, the contest results are delayed. But thanks for asking Dan Cohn and Cheryl Cortez Johnson (Congrats on your wedding last weekend!).
-----------------------------------------------------
I am walking the AIDS Walk NYC next weekend, Sunday, May 15th. If you are interested in walking or donating, please go to:
http://www.aidswalk.net/newyork/
-----------------------------------------------------
I want to write about my recent FL adventure, but I haven’t had a chance. I promise for next week.
-----------------------------------------------------
WEBSITE:
HILARIOUS! Sent by Sun Ae. I personally like squished head baby best.
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200505/200505060018.html
-----------------------------------------------------
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Sandy
Jen, Graham and Mike
Cynthia
George Costacos
Irene
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Catch up on old emails at girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
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HAIKU CONTEST:
I am lazy. Therefore, the contest results are delayed. But thanks for asking Dan Cohn and Cheryl Cortez Johnson (Congrats on your wedding last weekend!).
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I am walking the AIDS Walk NYC next weekend, Sunday, May 15th. If you are interested in walking or donating, please go to:
http://www.aidswalk.net/newyork/
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I want to write about my recent FL adventure, but I haven’t had a chance. I promise for next week.
-----------------------------------------------------
WEBSITE:
HILARIOUS! Sent by Sun Ae. I personally like squished head baby best.
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200505/200505060018.html
-----------------------------------------------------
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Sandy
Jen, Graham and Mike
Cynthia
George Costacos
Irene
Saturday, April 30, 2005
I AM COVERED IN BUG BITES (4-30-05)
NOTE: The formatting of this post is all screwed up and I don't want to take the trouble to fix it
I am in Florida taking care of my mom and cleaning out the attic.Florida is a scary, scary place. More later.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon (4-20-05)
DAMMIT – just spent the last 30 minutes typing up a particularly witty
essay and then forgot to save. DAMN. So all I have now is:
Witty, witty, witty, bon mot, bon mot, snarky, snarky, snarky.
Not so good.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ROAD RULES
I think it is time to refresh everyone's memory about the rules of the
road. Since we humans have created automobiles, bicycles, and other
methods of modern transportation,* I believe that we all need a
reminder about what is appropriate on the roads today.
Basically, there is a chain of command on the roads that I think we
have all forgotten. So here is a reminder:
PEDESTRIANS:
Pedestrians beat nothing. People walking on the street are considered
fair fodder on the road. And they are stupid enough to think they are
the kings of the road. Most pedestrians really do think that they can
beat an oncoming vehicle. They also think that it is the oncoming
vehicle's responsibility to see them and not hit them. Yeah, right.
You know that the passenger in that oncoming vehicle is daring the
driver to hit you for 10 points.
A car is a mass of metal, fiberglass, glass, and other things
automotive and weighs more than 2,300 lbs. Now, a moving car has the
laws of momentum and other physics mumbo jumbo on its side. Yet,
people every day test their luck against a moving vehicle. I once saw
a woman try to scamper across an intersection. She did not have right
of way, but that didn't stop her. She darted into an oncoming vehicle
and the car's brakes screeched to a stop. She stood in the middle of
the street, like a deer caught in headlights, and then scampered
across the street. So idiotic.
And even if you have right of way, you don't have right of way. Many
a person has tried to cross the street and almost got sideswiped by a
turning vehicle.
So remember: A pedestrian is the lowest form of being on the road.
CARS:
Now, when most people get behind the wheel of a car, they become
crazed egomaniacs and think they are the Kings of the Road. Well,
they aren't. Drivers of cars can run over small animals and
pedestrians, intentionally and unintentionally. However, trucks,
18-wheelers/semis, those vehicles that carry gas and other things can
run over cars anytime they want. And large farm animals, deer and elk
will definitely impede the average car from moving from point a to
point b.
Also, cars can go fast, but just because they can doesn't mean they
should. Sure, you can speed through Montana, Wyoming, North and South
Dakota and most of Nevada, but that's only because there are not
enough humans living there. However, just because there is no one on
the road, doesn't mean there is no one on the road. For example, I
went 80 mph down a 35 mph road in Austin, TX. I thought no one was
there. Well, a cop was hiding in the brush. Luckily, I started
hysterically crying and he let me go with a warning. But YOU may not
be so lucky. So drive carefully.
TRUCKS/SEMIS/VERY LARGE VEHICLES:
Trucks, semis and other ridiculously large vehicles generally rule the
road. Why? Because they are huge, have very poor visibility and wide
turning paths. Do you think that an 18-wheeler is going to care that
you are in the lane? Of course not! The truck driver is going to go
wherever the hell he wants to go. He has the huge motor, sheer bulk
weight and some major physics in his favor. I don't even think a deer
would hurt a semi. It may impede it for a short period of time, but I
can't imagine that it would stop it from its destination.
So, to quickly recap: Trucks and semis beat cars. Deer and elk beat
cars. Cars beat pedestrians. Pedestrians beat no one.
Now, the real King of the Road is Nature. The smallest squirrel can
wreak the worst havoc on the road. Deer and elk have been previous
mentioned, but other large farm animals do create incredible speed
bumps. Also, you can't beat hail, hurricanes, snow, ice, and other
weather-related traumas.
So, be careful out there. Wear your seatbelt. Look both ways before
you cross the street.
*Humans did domesticate donkeys and elephants for transportation, but
I think for our purposes here, we shall stick to cars, etc.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey, Steven and Jennifer Q.
The Marthas
Sandy
essay and then forgot to save. DAMN. So all I have now is:
Witty, witty, witty, bon mot, bon mot, snarky, snarky, snarky.
Not so good.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ROAD RULES
I think it is time to refresh everyone's memory about the rules of the
road. Since we humans have created automobiles, bicycles, and other
methods of modern transportation,* I believe that we all need a
reminder about what is appropriate on the roads today.
Basically, there is a chain of command on the roads that I think we
have all forgotten. So here is a reminder:
PEDESTRIANS:
Pedestrians beat nothing. People walking on the street are considered
fair fodder on the road. And they are stupid enough to think they are
the kings of the road. Most pedestrians really do think that they can
beat an oncoming vehicle. They also think that it is the oncoming
vehicle's responsibility to see them and not hit them. Yeah, right.
You know that the passenger in that oncoming vehicle is daring the
driver to hit you for 10 points.
A car is a mass of metal, fiberglass, glass, and other things
automotive and weighs more than 2,300 lbs. Now, a moving car has the
laws of momentum and other physics mumbo jumbo on its side. Yet,
people every day test their luck against a moving vehicle. I once saw
a woman try to scamper across an intersection. She did not have right
of way, but that didn't stop her. She darted into an oncoming vehicle
and the car's brakes screeched to a stop. She stood in the middle of
the street, like a deer caught in headlights, and then scampered
across the street. So idiotic.
And even if you have right of way, you don't have right of way. Many
a person has tried to cross the street and almost got sideswiped by a
turning vehicle.
So remember: A pedestrian is the lowest form of being on the road.
CARS:
Now, when most people get behind the wheel of a car, they become
crazed egomaniacs and think they are the Kings of the Road. Well,
they aren't. Drivers of cars can run over small animals and
pedestrians, intentionally and unintentionally. However, trucks,
18-wheelers/semis, those vehicles that carry gas and other things can
run over cars anytime they want. And large farm animals, deer and elk
will definitely impede the average car from moving from point a to
point b.
Also, cars can go fast, but just because they can doesn't mean they
should. Sure, you can speed through Montana, Wyoming, North and South
Dakota and most of Nevada, but that's only because there are not
enough humans living there. However, just because there is no one on
the road, doesn't mean there is no one on the road. For example, I
went 80 mph down a 35 mph road in Austin, TX. I thought no one was
there. Well, a cop was hiding in the brush. Luckily, I started
hysterically crying and he let me go with a warning. But YOU may not
be so lucky. So drive carefully.
TRUCKS/SEMIS/VERY LARGE VEHICLES:
Trucks, semis and other ridiculously large vehicles generally rule the
road. Why? Because they are huge, have very poor visibility and wide
turning paths. Do you think that an 18-wheeler is going to care that
you are in the lane? Of course not! The truck driver is going to go
wherever the hell he wants to go. He has the huge motor, sheer bulk
weight and some major physics in his favor. I don't even think a deer
would hurt a semi. It may impede it for a short period of time, but I
can't imagine that it would stop it from its destination.
So, to quickly recap: Trucks and semis beat cars. Deer and elk beat
cars. Cars beat pedestrians. Pedestrians beat no one.
Now, the real King of the Road is Nature. The smallest squirrel can
wreak the worst havoc on the road. Deer and elk have been previous
mentioned, but other large farm animals do create incredible speed
bumps. Also, you can't beat hail, hurricanes, snow, ice, and other
weather-related traumas.
So, be careful out there. Wear your seatbelt. Look both ways before
you cross the street.
*Humans did domesticate donkeys and elephants for transportation, but
I think for our purposes here, we shall stick to cars, etc.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Carey, Steven and Jennifer Q.
The Marthas
Sandy
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