HAIKU DEADLINE FRIDAY, APRIL 15 11:59 AM
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am pre-empting this week's horoscopes to let you know that I am not
only walking the AIDS Walk on Sunday, May 15th, but I am captaining a
team.
If you are interested in joining the team, go to the web site:
http://aidswalk.net/newyork/index.html
and go to Register Now and click on "Join A Team" The team name is
"Not Affiliated with Anything Team - 7297"
If you are interested in donating, you can either send me a cash or
check (made out to AIDS Walk New York) to my address (contact me via
email: girlladyfriend@gmail.com) or donate online by going to
http://aidswalk.net/newyork/index.html and go to Sponsor a
Participant. My name is Michelle Park, in case you forgot.
If my instructions are confusing, well, that won't be a first.
Contact me with any questions at girlladyfriend@gmaill.com
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Last weekend Les and Sylvia, Carey's grandparents, taught me how to
play mah jongg. Les and Sylvia are great -- in their 80s, fantastic
mah jongg players and teachers, and have great hairpieces. Mah jongg
is a fantastic game. Yes, it's a game famous with the geriatric set,
but the stategery behind the game is what makes people live longer.
The amount of brain power needed to get through one game is
incredible.
And learning mah jongg just gets me one step closer to being prepared
for retirement. So far, I can play golf badly, play croquet badly,
aquacise really well, like most soft foods, eat dinner at 4:30 PM and
go to sleep at 8, if I have to.
Almost there.... Just need to get a hang of shuffleboard and bingo.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Carey, Steven and Alex
Les and Sylvia, great hosts with a terrible knowledge of casseroles
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Friday, April 8, 2005
Gross me out
I think I grossed people out with my last horoscope email. O well. I have the disgusting need to share.
Thursday, April 7, 2005
Because you told me it was important (4/7/05)
So I had the most incredible food poisoning this week. It was really unreal. Nothing would stay down. Not even water. For almost 24 hours, I had chills, they were electrifying and I did lose control, but not in a good way. It was miserable. I never wanted to eat again. So for 24 hours, with very little water, my brain started to get really gummy. It felt dehydrated. And very out of body in a way. I felt like a desert frog buried underneath the ground waiting for the rain.
[Oh, I should explain that the food poisoning was caused by Boston Market, rotisserie chicken. I am never going to eat at Boston Market ever again. And I have sincere doubts whether I will eat chicken again, but we shall see.]
Two days later and I am starving. It’s amazing how quickly the body rebounds. I am ravenous really. This morning, I thought the woman in front of me was eating a giant moon pie (http://www.moonpie.com/). It had me salivating. But it turned out to be a pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese. I wonder if being dehydrated has affected my vision.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HAIKUS HAIKUS HAIKUS
To girlladyfriend@gmail.com
By April 15, 2005. The competition is getting harsh. Hurry and submit now!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out past emails and other ephemera at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
RUSSELL FROST & BOB MADISON, my knights in shining armors!
Mija and Kevin, two people who have a reservation next door to me in the loony bin
Ann, Dabney, Jen, Michelle E., Lynn, Rana, Briana, next time, less rain!
Lori who has the gall to be in Italy and enjoy it
[Oh, I should explain that the food poisoning was caused by Boston Market, rotisserie chicken. I am never going to eat at Boston Market ever again. And I have sincere doubts whether I will eat chicken again, but we shall see.]
Two days later and I am starving. It’s amazing how quickly the body rebounds. I am ravenous really. This morning, I thought the woman in front of me was eating a giant moon pie (http://www.moonpie.com/). It had me salivating. But it turned out to be a pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese. I wonder if being dehydrated has affected my vision.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HAIKUS HAIKUS HAIKUS
To girlladyfriend@gmail.com
By April 15, 2005. The competition is getting harsh. Hurry and submit now!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out past emails and other ephemera at http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
RUSSELL FROST & BOB MADISON, my knights in shining armors!
Mija and Kevin, two people who have a reservation next door to me in the loony bin
Ann, Dabney, Jen, Michelle E., Lynn, Rana, Briana, next time, less rain!
Lori who has the gall to be in Italy and enjoy it
Monday, April 4, 2005
newspapers
I got this from coworker Barry and I think they are quite accurate.
Subject: WHO'S READING WHAT?
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.
Subject: WHO'S READING WHAT?
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
HAIKU, WHERE ARE YOU? (3/31/05)
I am sitting here, eating my ½ off M&Ms. They were half off because they are the “Easter” versions of M&Ms. They are pastel and some of them even have bunny ears printed on them. It seems to me that even though they are seasonal in motif, they taste exactly the same as regularly priced M&Ms. I wonder if M&Ms go bad.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why is there an Easter Bunny? And why are chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks and hunting eggs part of the tradition? I hope it’s based on pagan rituals. Or aliens.
--------------------------------------------------------
And I am watching Will & Grace, even though it sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------
I am in the middle of jury duty. Today was the first day and I almost got chosen for a trial. I think my diversionary tactics worked. I didn’t look at the attorneys while they were talking. I stared at my fingernails a lot and I closed my eyes, feigning sleep while they were talking too. I did answer their questions honestly though.
So after seven hours of sitting on my ass, I got to leave. And tomorrow, I get to do it again!
There are only two good things about jury duty in NYC: (1) I got to see Sam Waterson and his fellow actors taping a scene for Law & Order. They were filming right outside the court house I reported to this morning. (2) Chinatown is right next door. Today I had Shanghai noodles. Tomorrow, Vietnamese Pho.
--------------------------------------------------------
yes, I said the deadline for haikus was March 31, 2005. Well, I am extending it to April 15, 2005. Please send all haikus to: girlladyfriend@gmail.com.
--------------------------------------------------------
I can’t write and watch tv at the same time.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why is there an Easter Bunny? And why are chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks and hunting eggs part of the tradition? I hope it’s based on pagan rituals. Or aliens.
--------------------------------------------------------
And I am watching Will & Grace, even though it sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------
I am in the middle of jury duty. Today was the first day and I almost got chosen for a trial. I think my diversionary tactics worked. I didn’t look at the attorneys while they were talking. I stared at my fingernails a lot and I closed my eyes, feigning sleep while they were talking too. I did answer their questions honestly though.
So after seven hours of sitting on my ass, I got to leave. And tomorrow, I get to do it again!
There are only two good things about jury duty in NYC: (1) I got to see Sam Waterson and his fellow actors taping a scene for Law & Order. They were filming right outside the court house I reported to this morning. (2) Chinatown is right next door. Today I had Shanghai noodles. Tomorrow, Vietnamese Pho.
--------------------------------------------------------
yes, I said the deadline for haikus was March 31, 2005. Well, I am extending it to April 15, 2005. Please send all haikus to: girlladyfriend@gmail.com.
--------------------------------------------------------
I can’t write and watch tv at the same time.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Hello my name is Haiku and I like to write po-ems... (3/24/05)
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
Due by March 31 to girlladyfriend@gmail.com
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I apologize in advance if I have ever started talking to you and then slowly walked away without any resolution to the conversation. I never really realized I did that until I was chit-chatting with a neighbor in my building. He just moved in and we were just trading quick thoughts about something or other. Most probably about the crappy building we put up with because we are rent stabilized. Anyway, I thought our conversation was done and instead of me saying, “OK, nice meeting you, gotta go,” I just sort of walked away. How rude! I was obviously raised by wolves. They are nice, well-meaning wolves, but wolves nonetheless.
++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Cynthia
Annie of the raccoon eyes
Audrey F.
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
Due by March 31 to girlladyfriend@gmail.com
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I apologize in advance if I have ever started talking to you and then slowly walked away without any resolution to the conversation. I never really realized I did that until I was chit-chatting with a neighbor in my building. He just moved in and we were just trading quick thoughts about something or other. Most probably about the crappy building we put up with because we are rent stabilized. Anyway, I thought our conversation was done and instead of me saying, “OK, nice meeting you, gotta go,” I just sort of walked away. How rude! I was obviously raised by wolves. They are nice, well-meaning wolves, but wolves nonetheless.
++++++++++++++++++++++
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Bob and Russell
Cynthia
Annie of the raccoon eyes
Audrey F.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Haiku me, Haiku you (3/18/2005)
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2... (3/10/2005)
At my Smokenders (http://www.smokenders.com/) meeting yesterday, a
classmate called me, "Little Miss Smart Ass." Yes, she did.
Now, usually, it takes about me about 4 weeks to really get the Smart
Ass in me out in a class setting. Seriously. But I guess I must be
in my prime because this was only in the 2nd class. What did I say
that made her call me "Little Miss Smart Ass?" Well, I'll tell
you...in a minute.
First off, I should explain what Smokenders is. [For those of you in
the know, entertain yourself by writing a haiku about toilet paper.]
Smokenders is a 6-week program that teaches you how to quit smoking.
It's like Weight Watchers for smokers. I could go into more detail,
but I won't. The important thing to know though is you are still
smoking for 4 weeks out of 6. Well, it is the most important thing
for me.
So, this woman, who we shall call Droopy Puss, was frustrated and
whining that her cigarettes didn't label how much nicotine was in the
cigarettes. Now, cigarette companies are only legally supposed to
label how much tar is in their cigarettes (as if that's any help).
They won't tell you how much nicotine is actually in their cigarettes,
because they don't want you to know how addicted to their crack you
are. So, she was whining (or for the U.K. folk out there, whinging)
for a while so I felt I had to turn around and let her know that there
is a 1-800 number on all packs of cigarettes. I actually showed her
where it was and Droopy Puss was very shocked and happy and
appreciative.
I thought that went well. But then the class went on.
During this week we are only allowed certain beverages while smoking
(and no, Bob, none of them are whisky, bourbon or gin). One of the
accepted beverages is orange juice. This other woman, let's call her
Leatherface, complained that orange juice is just too fattening to
drink and she couldn't do it. (Yes, almost everyone in the class has
a defeatist attitude, but what do you expect from a bunch of smokers
who are trying to quit?) The reactions/comments I had that I DIDN'T
share with the class were, "What the fuck? Orange juice is
fattening??? Just how much orange juice does Leatherface think she
needs to drink?" and "Leatherface has MAJOR food issues if she thinks
a glass of orange juice is fattening." Well, what I ended up saying
to her was, "Well, orange juice is better for you than cigarettes."
This got a laugh and agreement from the entire class, except for
Leatherface. I got the impression that she didn't find it funny.
By the end of the class, almost everyone had run out the door (after 2
hours, they all needed a cigarette). As I was leaving the room,
Droopy Puss was talking to the instructor. When I passed her, Droopy
said, "And I had no idea that there was an 1-800 number until Little
Miss Smart Ass told me..."
Well, bowl me over with a stick of salami!
(I don't know where I got that)
I was a little puzzled over my new moniker, but I have to say that it
is better to be Little Miss Smart Ass than Droopy Puss or Leatherface
any day.
******************************************
So for those of you who are keeping count, this is my 3rd time at
Smokenders. The first time was either 2000 or 2001. Smokefree for 1
year. Then started and smoked for 1 year. Then did Smokenders again
and quit for 1 year and then this August, started again. So this
time, I hope to make it stick.
******************************************
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Cynthia -- you WILL pass your exams, I GARRRAHHHNTEEE!
Kim & Ethan -- can't wait to see you!
Congratulations to Anjali and her groom!
Michelle E -- no, you're the best!
Graham -- Get over your phone phobia and talk to your aunt!
classmate called me, "Little Miss Smart Ass." Yes, she did.
Now, usually, it takes about me about 4 weeks to really get the Smart
Ass in me out in a class setting. Seriously. But I guess I must be
in my prime because this was only in the 2nd class. What did I say
that made her call me "Little Miss Smart Ass?" Well, I'll tell
you...in a minute.
First off, I should explain what Smokenders is. [For those of you in
the know, entertain yourself by writing a haiku about toilet paper.]
Smokenders is a 6-week program that teaches you how to quit smoking.
It's like Weight Watchers for smokers. I could go into more detail,
but I won't. The important thing to know though is you are still
smoking for 4 weeks out of 6. Well, it is the most important thing
for me.
So, this woman, who we shall call Droopy Puss, was frustrated and
whining that her cigarettes didn't label how much nicotine was in the
cigarettes. Now, cigarette companies are only legally supposed to
label how much tar is in their cigarettes (as if that's any help).
They won't tell you how much nicotine is actually in their cigarettes,
because they don't want you to know how addicted to their crack you
are. So, she was whining (or for the U.K. folk out there, whinging)
for a while so I felt I had to turn around and let her know that there
is a 1-800 number on all packs of cigarettes. I actually showed her
where it was and Droopy Puss was very shocked and happy and
appreciative.
I thought that went well. But then the class went on.
During this week we are only allowed certain beverages while smoking
(and no, Bob, none of them are whisky, bourbon or gin). One of the
accepted beverages is orange juice. This other woman, let's call her
Leatherface, complained that orange juice is just too fattening to
drink and she couldn't do it. (Yes, almost everyone in the class has
a defeatist attitude, but what do you expect from a bunch of smokers
who are trying to quit?) The reactions/comments I had that I DIDN'T
share with the class were, "What the fuck? Orange juice is
fattening??? Just how much orange juice does Leatherface think she
needs to drink?" and "Leatherface has MAJOR food issues if she thinks
a glass of orange juice is fattening." Well, what I ended up saying
to her was, "Well, orange juice is better for you than cigarettes."
This got a laugh and agreement from the entire class, except for
Leatherface. I got the impression that she didn't find it funny.
By the end of the class, almost everyone had run out the door (after 2
hours, they all needed a cigarette). As I was leaving the room,
Droopy Puss was talking to the instructor. When I passed her, Droopy
said, "And I had no idea that there was an 1-800 number until Little
Miss Smart Ass told me..."
Well, bowl me over with a stick of salami!
(I don't know where I got that)
I was a little puzzled over my new moniker, but I have to say that it
is better to be Little Miss Smart Ass than Droopy Puss or Leatherface
any day.
******************************************
So for those of you who are keeping count, this is my 3rd time at
Smokenders. The first time was either 2000 or 2001. Smokefree for 1
year. Then started and smoked for 1 year. Then did Smokenders again
and quit for 1 year and then this August, started again. So this
time, I hope to make it stick.
******************************************
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Cynthia -- you WILL pass your exams, I GARRRAHHHNTEEE!
Kim & Ethan -- can't wait to see you!
Congratulations to Anjali and her groom!
Michelle E -- no, you're the best!
Graham -- Get over your phone phobia and talk to your aunt!
Friday, March 4, 2005
One waved back! (3/4/2005)
So there is a certain division at my work that is notorious for its high number of shy, quiet people. And there is quite a high number of older, white-haired men in this group. Every time I pass one of them in the hall, they generally don't make eye contact or make any salutations whatsoever.
For the last three years, I have been making it a point to say hi to everyone, especially the older, white-haired men. It freaks them out and at first, they would just jump and keep on walking. Some would nod their heads. Slowly though, the ice was breaking. One would actually say hello back to me. Another would smile.
Well, we had a breakthrough yesterday. The top white-haired guy actually said hello to me without any prompting from me!!! I have always had to say hello first, but this time, he said hello first! I was totally floored. And oddly enough, it made my day :) I know, I liken these white-haired guys to gorillas in the midst. They are my personal field study. However, I truly believe that even if you don't know the person, you should still say hi to the people who work at the same place you do.
There is this company in my building which takes up three floors (or more). When they get on the elevator, people from one floor will not acknowledge the people from the other floor. Yet they all work together. Now, it could be said that the company is so huge that they can't know everyone. I could agree with that if it wasn't for the fact you know this person is getting on/off on a floor where you work! I mean, does it take that much energy to say hello?
For the last three years, I have been making it a point to say hi to everyone, especially the older, white-haired men. It freaks them out and at first, they would just jump and keep on walking. Some would nod their heads. Slowly though, the ice was breaking. One would actually say hello back to me. Another would smile.
Well, we had a breakthrough yesterday. The top white-haired guy actually said hello to me without any prompting from me!!! I have always had to say hello first, but this time, he said hello first! I was totally floored. And oddly enough, it made my day :) I know, I liken these white-haired guys to gorillas in the midst. They are my personal field study. However, I truly believe that even if you don't know the person, you should still say hi to the people who work at the same place you do.
There is this company in my building which takes up three floors (or more). When they get on the elevator, people from one floor will not acknowledge the people from the other floor. Yet they all work together. Now, it could be said that the company is so huge that they can't know everyone. I could agree with that if it wasn't for the fact you know this person is getting on/off on a floor where you work! I mean, does it take that much energy to say hello?
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
Notice something different? (3/2/2005)
I thought it would be best to send my horoscope email from a non-work email. It’s good to have a change, don’t you think?
I am also archiving old email horoscopes (sans horoscope) on my new blog:
http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
I will still be annoying you with weekly emails, but some people felt strongly that I should start a blog. You know how I hate to go mainstream, but such is. I succumbed to peer pressure.
******************************
So last week, I alluded to a toilet story. My friend, let’s call him Freeven, works in a law office (which is so wrong in so many ways) and, from what he says, the men’s bathroom is a danger zone. It should be cordoned off by the EPA. Seriously. It turns out that the toilets are low flow/flush and the guys like to do their “morning/afternoon/evening constitutions” there. Unfortunately, most of them flush and quickly flee from the scene, without noticing if there are any floaters (word of advice: always look back for floaters). Also, understanding the problems with corporate toilet paper, they tend to overroll and clog the toilets. So, most of the time, the toilets in the men’s bathroom at Freeven’s work are not working. And there are overflow issues as well. It just all sounds BAD.
******************************
Still haven’t chosen the judges, but I will get back to those who are interested.
In the meantime, where are your haikus????? :( I sit here waiting for them. Counting the minutes until I get your haiku.
To recap:
The 2005 (and 3rd) HAIKU CONTEST!
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper Deadline: By EMAIL, EXTENDED to March 30, 2005 Eligibility: The contest is open to the public (that means everyone). Corporate Toilet Paper Haiku contest officers who are members of the Judging Committee are not eligible.
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
******************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Cassie and Jon
Annie, Dabney, Ashley and Feidler
Steven and Alex
Sandy
I am also archiving old email horoscopes (sans horoscope) on my new blog:
http://girlladyfriend.blogspot.com
I will still be annoying you with weekly emails, but some people felt strongly that I should start a blog. You know how I hate to go mainstream, but such is. I succumbed to peer pressure.
******************************
So last week, I alluded to a toilet story. My friend, let’s call him Freeven, works in a law office (which is so wrong in so many ways) and, from what he says, the men’s bathroom is a danger zone. It should be cordoned off by the EPA. Seriously. It turns out that the toilets are low flow/flush and the guys like to do their “morning/afternoon/evening constitutions” there. Unfortunately, most of them flush and quickly flee from the scene, without noticing if there are any floaters (word of advice: always look back for floaters). Also, understanding the problems with corporate toilet paper, they tend to overroll and clog the toilets. So, most of the time, the toilets in the men’s bathroom at Freeven’s work are not working. And there are overflow issues as well. It just all sounds BAD.
******************************
Still haven’t chosen the judges, but I will get back to those who are interested.
In the meantime, where are your haikus????? :( I sit here waiting for them. Counting the minutes until I get your haiku.
To recap:
The 2005 (and 3rd) HAIKU CONTEST!
This year’s contest’s theme is: Corporate Toilet Paper Deadline: By EMAIL, EXTENDED to March 30, 2005 Eligibility: The contest is open to the public (that means everyone). Corporate Toilet Paper Haiku contest officers who are members of the Judging Committee are not eligible.
Regulations: Submit as many haikus as you want. All haikus must be in 5-7-5 metric format, which is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
******************************
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
Cassie and Jon
Annie, Dabney, Ashley and Feidler
Steven and Alex
Sandy
Tuesday, March 1, 2005
Horoscopes past (3/1/2005)
Hi there -- I will be posting my old horoscope emails here, as well as new ones and other musings. I am going to try and do a quarter of a year at a time, which may take a while since I have emails going back to 2002. I lost all of my emails before 2002, but that's okay. Three years is enough to chew on for now.
XOXO
Michelle
XOXO
Michelle
Thursday, February 24, 2005
itchy, scratchy, bad. corporate toilet paper. itchy, scratchy, bad. (2/24/2005)
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
nobody told me about the side effects! (9-29-04)
I am not short because I am Asian! I am short because those 6 years of
gymnastics MADE ME SHORT!!!! I KNEW IT! Those aerials took away
inches from my life!
http://www.endo-society.org/pubrelations/pressReleases/archives/2004/exercise_athletes.cfm
[Thanks to Michelle E. for the article.]
++++++++++++++++++
I love the idea of getting your own bobblehead. Why should celebrities
have all of the fun. I think these would make great wedding gifts,
don't you?
http://www.whoopassenterprises.com/
++++++++++++++++++
I hate Wal-Mart.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/28/international/americas/28mexico.html?8hpib
Full article after the horoscopes.
++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Audrey
Mija
Michelle
Sandy
Bob and Russell
Saumya
(aka the usual suspects)
gymnastics MADE ME SHORT!!!! I KNEW IT! Those aerials took away
inches from my life!
http://www.endo-society.org/pubrelations/pressReleases/archives/2004/exercise_athletes.cfm
[Thanks to Michelle E. for the article.]
++++++++++++++++++
I love the idea of getting your own bobblehead. Why should celebrities
have all of the fun. I think these would make great wedding gifts,
don't you?
http://www.whoopassenterprises.com/
++++++++++++++++++
I hate Wal-Mart.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/28/international/americas/28mexico.html?8hpib
Full article after the horoscopes.
++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
Audrey
Mija
Michelle
Sandy
Bob and Russell
Saumya
(aka the usual suspects)
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I am scared of my step class (9-23-04)
So, yesterday, I wore a red t-shirt and black pants. I didn't really
think anything of it until I got to work and looked at the full length
mirror (actually it's more like a mirror wall) and noticed I looked like
a greeter for a Chinese restaurant Do you want eggroll or soup? And I
wasn't the only one. Now, I should preface this by saying that red is
a lucky color in the Chinese culture. And I was wearing a red, red
t-shirt.
The UN General Assembly 59th session started on Monday, September 21,
2004 and it has wreaked traffic havoc in Midtown. There are cops on
every corner and yesterday, the same day I was dressed like a Mao youth,
the Falun Gong (a mind, body and spirit group that is being persecuted
in China - why? Well, I would tell you, but that would take more
minutes than I care to spare these days) were protesting in my work
neighborhood. They aren't allowed near the UN; but were allowed two blocks
around the UN. And the Falun Gong was EVERYWHERE. When I went out at
lunch, they just smiled at me and tried to hand me their information. But
after work, I think they were dismayed at the lack of interest so when
they saw me, Super Asian Girl in her red and black outfit. I think in
their heads they collectively thought - ASIAN GIRL, RED=CHINESE, GET
HER! Because on each block, a member of the Falun Gong was chasing after
me (chasing because the minute I would see one, I would hustle my way
out of her general direction), trying several different dialects of
Chinese, then Japanese and finally "Korean?!" At first, I thought it was
an anomaly. The first member of Falun Gong darted after me and the
faster I walked, the faster she walked. Finally I escaped her by quickly
crossing the street, but then there was another one. And I didn't think
that this one would chase me too, but she did. Luckily, I was close to
the subway and could escape.
It's not fun being chased by a person who strongly believes in mind,
body and spirit principles. They can be fierce. And they are quick
walkers.
UN General Assembly information
=========================
For those of you who are having back, arm, wrist and butt problems due
to sitting at a desk all day (like me!), here is a guide for better
sitting posture.
Reducing back pain while sitting in office chairs
=========================
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Saumya
Sandy
John, Doug and Annie
Ann, Dabney and Fiedler
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
Fresh Direct
Martha A
think anything of it until I got to work and looked at the full length
mirror (actually it's more like a mirror wall) and noticed I looked like
a greeter for a Chinese restaurant Do you want eggroll or soup? And I
wasn't the only one. Now, I should preface this by saying that red is
a lucky color in the Chinese culture. And I was wearing a red, red
t-shirt.
The UN General Assembly 59th session started on Monday, September 21,
2004 and it has wreaked traffic havoc in Midtown. There are cops on
every corner and yesterday, the same day I was dressed like a Mao youth,
the Falun Gong (a mind, body and spirit group that is being persecuted
in China - why? Well, I would tell you, but that would take more
minutes than I care to spare these days) were protesting in my work
neighborhood. They aren't allowed near the UN; but were allowed two blocks
around the UN. And the Falun Gong was EVERYWHERE. When I went out at
lunch, they just smiled at me and tried to hand me their information. But
after work, I think they were dismayed at the lack of interest so when
they saw me, Super Asian Girl in her red and black outfit. I think in
their heads they collectively thought - ASIAN GIRL, RED=CHINESE, GET
HER! Because on each block, a member of the Falun Gong was chasing after
me (chasing because the minute I would see one, I would hustle my way
out of her general direction), trying several different dialects of
Chinese, then Japanese and finally "Korean?!" At first, I thought it was
an anomaly. The first member of Falun Gong darted after me and the
faster I walked, the faster she walked. Finally I escaped her by quickly
crossing the street, but then there was another one. And I didn't think
that this one would chase me too, but she did. Luckily, I was close to
the subway and could escape.
It's not fun being chased by a person who strongly believes in mind,
body and spirit principles. They can be fierce. And they are quick
walkers.
UN General Assembly information
=========================
For those of you who are having back, arm, wrist and butt problems due
to sitting at a desk all day (like me!), here is a guide for better
sitting posture.
Reducing back pain while sitting in office chairs
=========================
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Saumya
Sandy
John, Doug and Annie
Ann, Dabney and Fiedler
Bob and Russell
Michelle E.
Fresh Direct
Martha A
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Are you from my parallel world? (9-16-04)
I keep meaning to send you copies of the birthday cards (and 3-D
incarnation) that some of you have sent me for my birthday last month, but I
keep forgetting. So to all of you, I SWEAR it will be in next week's
email.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Carey Meyers has brought to my attention that September 19 is Talk Like
a Pirate Day. Two friends, while playing racquetball in 1995, started
Pirate Slang and wrote an email to Dave Barry of their anectodes. They
also proposed Talk Like a Pirate Day to Dave Barry and he, being the
consummate bearer of good news, brought it to the WORLD (OK, various
locations in the US).
So, you beauties and bilge rats, smartly pick up your hornpipe and your
flagon of grog and scream ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/about.html The history of the Day
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/4018055.htm?1c
original Talk Like a Pirate Day column
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/partykit.html Plan a Pirate Party kit
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was on the phone last night with Cynthia Anderson and she let me know
about this Iowa town, that used to be called Fairfield, but parts of
the town changed their name to Vedic City [Vedic is a Sanskrit word
meaning "totality of knowledge."]. The story begins with Fairfield, an
agricultural town that lost a lot of businesses and the college. The town
and its people were economically depressed and needed to find new
businesses to build up their local economy. So, then come the yellow buses
bringing the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his students to start the
Maharishi International University. The idea of the university started in
1955 when the Maharishi began teaching transcendental meditation (TM) in
India. (What is TM? http://www.mum.edu/cbe/tm.shtml ) The Beatles
went to the Maharishi and let's just say a star was born. So, in come all
of these people who want to meditate in the middle of farm country Iowa
and slowly the town folk begin to meditate too. Now, one-fourth of the
10,000 residents of Fairfield and Vedic City practice TM. They even
have a residential community where the houses are built to be in tune with
transcendental meditation tenets. People are retiring there. Even the
mayor practices TM.
This all shows me that people everywhere can open up their minds,
broaden their scope and get a little weird during the process.
Here's some links about the university:
http://www.mum.edu/ Maharishi University of Management
http://www.npr.org/features/feature.php?wfId=3875438 NPR item re: the
Maharishi and the small Iowa town where it all began
Then there are the opponents of transcendental meditation:
http://unstress4less.org/
http://www.suggestibility.org/index.htm
http://www.watchman.org/na/outoftm.htm
http://unstress4less.org/transcendental_meditation-religion.htm
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Saumya
Bob and Russell
Lamont, my ass kicking step instructor
Steven and Alex
Sandy
Ann and Dabney
Michelle E. (L'shanah tovah)
Good luck to the triathletes, Carey and Lynda!
incarnation) that some of you have sent me for my birthday last month, but I
keep forgetting. So to all of you, I SWEAR it will be in next week's
email.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Carey Meyers has brought to my attention that September 19 is Talk Like
a Pirate Day. Two friends, while playing racquetball in 1995, started
Pirate Slang and wrote an email to Dave Barry of their anectodes. They
also proposed Talk Like a Pirate Day to Dave Barry and he, being the
consummate bearer of good news, brought it to the WORLD (OK, various
locations in the US).
So, you beauties and bilge rats, smartly pick up your hornpipe and your
flagon of grog and scream ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/about.html The history of the Day
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/4018055.htm?1c
original Talk Like a Pirate Day column
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/partykit.html Plan a Pirate Party kit
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was on the phone last night with Cynthia Anderson and she let me know
about this Iowa town, that used to be called Fairfield, but parts of
the town changed their name to Vedic City [Vedic is a Sanskrit word
meaning "totality of knowledge."]. The story begins with Fairfield, an
agricultural town that lost a lot of businesses and the college. The town
and its people were economically depressed and needed to find new
businesses to build up their local economy. So, then come the yellow buses
bringing the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his students to start the
Maharishi International University. The idea of the university started in
1955 when the Maharishi began teaching transcendental meditation (TM) in
India. (What is TM? http://www.mum.edu/cbe/tm.shtml ) The Beatles
went to the Maharishi and let's just say a star was born. So, in come all
of these people who want to meditate in the middle of farm country Iowa
and slowly the town folk begin to meditate too. Now, one-fourth of the
10,000 residents of Fairfield and Vedic City practice TM. They even
have a residential community where the houses are built to be in tune with
transcendental meditation tenets. People are retiring there. Even the
mayor practices TM.
This all shows me that people everywhere can open up their minds,
broaden their scope and get a little weird during the process.
Here's some links about the university:
http://www.mum.edu/ Maharishi University of Management
http://www.npr.org/features/feature.php?wfId=3875438 NPR item re: the
Maharishi and the small Iowa town where it all began
Then there are the opponents of transcendental meditation:
http://unstress4less.org/
http://www.suggestibility.org/index.htm
http://www.watchman.org/na/outoftm.htm
http://unstress4less.org/transcendental_meditation-religion.htm
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Saumya
Bob and Russell
Lamont, my ass kicking step instructor
Steven and Alex
Sandy
Ann and Dabney
Michelle E. (L'shanah tovah)
Good luck to the triathletes, Carey and Lynda!
Wednesday, September 8, 2004
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over... (9-8-04)
You gotta love Florida - even though there are hurricanes and extreme
humidity, the state of Florida is so stupid that they let me sign up for
an absentee ballot for the General Elections this November. Of course,
it does help that I never changed my FL driver's license over to NY. I
thought it might come in handy some day. Also, renewing a FL driver's
license is so easy! All you have to do is sign a piece of paper, send
in a check for $4 and get your license renewed. Amazing state, FL.
Of course, I have to now wait and see if I get my paperwork in time,
but I would bet that I do. Last time I did an absentee ballot out of FL
(in college), the state of FL sent me a punch card ballot with a steel
pin to punch out my selections. A steel pin, I tell you.
**********************************
I unfortunately have nothing else to contribute this week. The rain
has sapped my energy and my will to babble. You will just have to fill
in the blanks yourself this week.
**********************************
Last week's email about people riding bikes while walking their dogs
brought about a philosophy question for you to ponder:
Franibee from AZ: If you walk a dog when you are riding a bike, aren't
you actually driving the dog? Just an observation. PS-Bikes are why
God invented the skort :) I highly recommend it.
Also re: last week's email:
Lori from LA, CA: hey - how did I make it into the dedication section?
or do you know another Lori???! [Yes, I do know another Lori - NOT]
**********************************
This week's horoscopes go out to:
> ANN AND DABNEY ARE BACK! YAY!
> Saumya, for a wonderful cooking lesson and dinner
> Ann, Ennio and Camila, for being wonderful dinner companions (and for
getting me my financial reports!!! Thanks, Ann!)
> Mark, for buying that large umbrella (what's the Scottish word for
umbrella?) during the rainstorm of Star Wars: Episode I
> Carey, Steven and Jennifer, for a wonderful day at Brighton Beach and
at Chez Kane and Meyers
humidity, the state of Florida is so stupid that they let me sign up for
an absentee ballot for the General Elections this November. Of course,
it does help that I never changed my FL driver's license over to NY. I
thought it might come in handy some day. Also, renewing a FL driver's
license is so easy! All you have to do is sign a piece of paper, send
in a check for $4 and get your license renewed. Amazing state, FL.
Of course, I have to now wait and see if I get my paperwork in time,
but I would bet that I do. Last time I did an absentee ballot out of FL
(in college), the state of FL sent me a punch card ballot with a steel
pin to punch out my selections. A steel pin, I tell you.
**********************************
I unfortunately have nothing else to contribute this week. The rain
has sapped my energy and my will to babble. You will just have to fill
in the blanks yourself this week.
**********************************
Last week's email about people riding bikes while walking their dogs
brought about a philosophy question for you to ponder:
Franibee from AZ: If you walk a dog when you are riding a bike, aren't
you actually driving the dog? Just an observation. PS-Bikes are why
God invented the skort :) I highly recommend it.
Also re: last week's email:
Lori from LA, CA: hey - how did I make it into the dedication section?
or do you know another Lori???! [Yes, I do know another Lori - NOT]
**********************************
This week's horoscopes go out to:
> ANN AND DABNEY ARE BACK! YAY!
> Saumya, for a wonderful cooking lesson and dinner
> Ann, Ennio and Camila, for being wonderful dinner companions (and for
getting me my financial reports!!! Thanks, Ann!)
> Mark, for buying that large umbrella (what's the Scottish word for
umbrella?) during the rainstorm of Star Wars: Episode I
> Carey, Steven and Jennifer, for a wonderful day at Brighton Beach and
at Chez Kane and Meyers
Wednesday, September 1, 2004
Ay, yi, yi, yiiiiiii! (9/1/04)
I have some general advice for people who ride bikes:
Ladies or Fashion-forward men: don't wear a skirt while riding a bike.
It's a dangerous act to commit. First, you are showing off your
panties to the world (of course, some may find that to be a bonus); second,
you could get your skirt caught in the spokes of the wheel; and third,
if you are wearing a straight skirt, well, unless you hike it up (see
#1), you will have problems getting down.
Also, please do not walk your dog while riding a bike. That is just an
accident waiting to happen.
++++++++++++++++++
Web site of interest:
http://www.tvtome.com/
I don't know who has the time to do this, but obviously there are tens
of hundreds of people who are willing to sacrifice a lot of things to
get the information on line. God Speed, TV Tome, God Speed.
++++++++++++++++++
I subscribe to the Best Bets section of New York magazine's web site,
nymetro.com. Every day, the writer brings a new item or items of
interest to purchase. Most of the time, they are things like cute shoes or a
new purse. However, every once in a while, a gem like the yarmulkebra
is posted. So, hurry down and get your Jewish and goy (you never
know)/shiksa friends.
http://www.yarmulkebra.com/collection.html
++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Alex, Carey, Jennifer and Steven
>> Kim
>> Lori
>> Jen B., Holly, Lynn, Audrey, Danielle, Jen P, Russell, Bob, Ann,
Dabney, Michelle E.
Ladies or Fashion-forward men: don't wear a skirt while riding a bike.
It's a dangerous act to commit. First, you are showing off your
panties to the world (of course, some may find that to be a bonus); second,
you could get your skirt caught in the spokes of the wheel; and third,
if you are wearing a straight skirt, well, unless you hike it up (see
#1), you will have problems getting down.
Also, please do not walk your dog while riding a bike. That is just an
accident waiting to happen.
++++++++++++++++++
Web site of interest:
http://www.tvtome.com/
I don't know who has the time to do this, but obviously there are tens
of hundreds of people who are willing to sacrifice a lot of things to
get the information on line. God Speed, TV Tome, God Speed.
++++++++++++++++++
I subscribe to the Best Bets section of New York magazine's web site,
nymetro.com. Every day, the writer brings a new item or items of
interest to purchase. Most of the time, they are things like cute shoes or a
new purse. However, every once in a while, a gem like the yarmulkebra
is posted. So, hurry down and get your Jewish and goy (you never
know)/shiksa friends.
http://www.yarmulkebra.com/collection.html
++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Alex, Carey, Jennifer and Steven
>> Kim
>> Lori
>> Jen B., Holly, Lynn, Audrey, Danielle, Jen P, Russell, Bob, Ann,
Dabney, Michelle E.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Lots of people smell like garlic lately
The weather in New York is really cruel. There was one summer where every weekday was sunny, warm and gorgeous, but every weekend was rainy and grey. And then there was last winter where we had grey skies for six months straight. That really made me insane. Now we just have cold, cold, cold, cold and more relentless cold. I guess I should be glad it isn't grey. But seriously, New Yorkers are known for their un-subtleties and now the weather reflects our je ne sais quoi too. Sigh. But I can't leave NY. Where else can you get Korean food 24 hours a day. I mean, besides Korea. Ok, LA, but come on! People are too tan there. And great bagels. Ok, I heard Montreal has good bagels, but come on, that's Canada!Speaking of crazy weather, the freak snow storm we had last night was also cruel. My office has this emergency phone number where you can call to check in and see if the office will be closed for the bad weather. Well, last night the snow was pretty fierce. And when I woke up this morning, I checked the tv news and a lot of schools were closed. My heart began to beat faster. I called the emergency line and NO! We are not closed. I called five more times. Each time, not closed. Why couldn't the storm hit this morning so that I can get a snow day? I am from FL - we NEVER had snow days. Sigh.On another note, while waiting at the bus stop, this woman was holding one kid in her arms and the other one, who was maybe 3 or 4 years old, was playing in the dirty snow that was recently plowed from the street to the sidewalk. And the woman just let her child dig her hands in the grey snow, when there was perfectly good white snow a foot next to it. I think children should only play with white snow. Snow with color just isn't right. Despite what you are thinking, I didn't say anything to her. She has two kids to wrangle. That's tougher than herding cats.
******************************************
My Canadian friend, Frobi, decided to critique my horoscope newsletters. I think she is trying to vent her Canadian inferiority complex. You know, Canada, despite being such a large country, is just considered an outcrop of the US. And those from Toronto all talk funny. You know, soorry aboot yoor prooojects. Case in point: From Frobi: Boooring. I like the trivia better. And the world heritage organization sites url was nice too. What about Chinese New Year? Why not something on that instead? The state of Michelle's psyche? The view from your office window? You yankees. All you ever think about are politics...So, to address this obviously frustrated Canadian:
1. I like trivia too. And the World Heritage site roocks. http://whc.unesco.org/nwhc/pages/doc/mainf3.htm
2. Yes, I forgot to mention Chinese New Year last week, but I did mention it the week before last. It's actually LUNAR New Year, as a lot of Asian cultures celebrate the hooliday. In Korea, to celebrate the New Year, we eat rice cakes (flat disks of rice pasta) in soup with mandoo (also known as wontons). Gives you good luck. The sooup is called Duk Mandoo Guk (phonetically pronounced "duck mahn doo gook"). Go out and try it today. Quite tasty and not spicy at all.
3. I have no window at woork. Thanks for reminding me, Goobi.
4. Well, that's why those Bostonians dumped the tea in the harbor (short info aboot the tea party http://www.pbs.org/ktca/liberty/chronicle/bostonteaparty-edenton.html; and where exactly was the tea party? http://jrshelby.com/btp/) -- some fat, racist, white Americans fought for the right to be heard. Now, everyone is heard and some more than others, which is unfortunately always the way. But you know what? Who is Gobi to criticize? It's not as if SHE is writing anything to me on a weekly basis. Come on, Gobi! Step up to the plate!
******************************************
Speaking of trivia, thanks to Frija, I found out about this web site, A.Word.A.Day (http://wordsmith.org/awad/index.html <http://www.Wordsmith.org> ). Every day a new word. Today's word isn't that obscure but I like the examples the site uses to show the word in context:
allocution (al-uh-KYOO-shuhn) nounA formal speech or address, especially one that exhorts.[From Latin allocution- (stem of allocutio), past participle of alloqui (to speak to), from ad- + loqui (to speak). Some other words derived from the same root are colloquium, elocution, soliloquy, and ventriloquism.]"And then he (the judge) invited us to say what we would--to 'make our allocutions'--before he rendered a sentence." Bill McKibben; Patriotic Acts; Mother Jones (San Francisco); Nov 1, 2000."(Noel) Gallagher gets started on this soapbox allocution because of Wal-Mart. He just recently found out the retail goliath balked at selling 'Standing on the Shoulder of Giants,' the 2000 album by Gallagher's Britpop band, Oasis." Doug Elfman; Oasis' Noel Gallagher Always Ready to Vent; Las Vegas Review-Journal; Apr 26, 2002.
******************************************
Speaking of Frija, I am going to Minnesota this weekend in the middle of this deep freeze to attend their annual Robert Burns party. See the invitation below:A'right! Howzitgaun?Ye's are no gonnie believe it, but wur haein' anither o' oor wee shindigs. Aye, wur back tae the verbal debauchery in celebration o' the baird's burthday. Aye, it's the Chapman Van Der Wege Burns Supper 2004.
Ye's may be wonderin' whit on earth a' the fuss is aboot. Weel, every year on or aboot the baird's burthday, Scots a' oe'r the world gather tae celebrate. Burns Suppers huv poetry readins, bletherin', speeches an' singin' (if fowks are blootered enough). There's dinner, an' drinks an' a', wi' plenty' or usquabae - the watter o' life - tae go aroon'. If fowks get really steamin' there could be jiggin' and reelin', but ah'll no be joinin' in.
We'll be ha'en a proper Burns supper, wi a' the trimmin's an' haiverin that goes wi' it. And aye, there will be Haggis! Ither options will be there fur those o ye's no' up tae the haggis, but all o' ye's wull be encouraged tae at least gie it a try.
Noo, the important bit. Ye's are a' expected tae join in! Bring ane o' yer Burns favourites, or if ye's are feelin' right brave, jist turn up an' we'll gie ye ane tae read. Noo, e'en this humble Scot expects tae muck it up right good and proper - readin' Burns isnae easy. So dinna fash yersels aboot it o'er much, we dinna want ye's tae get yersels in a fankle. We dinna want fowks a' scunnered and crabbit aboot it either. An' anyone kickin' up a fuss will be told to haud their wheest. Just gie it laldie an we'll a' hae a braw time.
The nicht will keep goin' until we're a' wabbit. We huv beds fur plenty o' fowks if ye's need them. Oh, and this is a nicht fur auld yins only - leave the weans at hame.So there ye's go. If ye's want tae come, just send us a wee note so we can keep track o' how many we need tae feed. Aw ra best fae noo!
Kevin & Mija
Oh, by ra way, if ye's are needin' a wee bit o' help thinkin' aboot whit tae do fur yer turns, these links might be o' some help.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
everything smells like pineapples
To those who are US citizens:HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? [ http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm ]
To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.
To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.
everything smells like pineapples
To those who are US citizens:HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? [ http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm ]
To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.
To those who are registered to vote:Do you know where your voting precinct is? I recommend mapping out the best route to your voting precinct NOW. I think dry runs would be appropriate. Bring a timer. To those who are registered to vote, but aren't going to be in their voting area during the November :GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW! GET AN ABSENTEE BALLOT NOW!Ah, that feels better.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
you are getting sleeeeeppppppyyyyyyy.....
Aha - I almost forgot it is horoscope day! I am not feeling 100% today. That is why I think I started looking up the names for people who study certain things. For example:1) an ornithologist studies...?2) an ichthyologist studies...?3) an entomologist studies...?4) an etymologist studies...?And then I found this interesting web site of totally random and probably useless information.http://www.corsinet.com/trivia/j-triv.html====================================This week's horoscopes go out to:>> Jen B., thanks for my Librarian action figure!>> Ann and Dab, thanks for my Readymade (http://www.readymade.com/)!>> Mike and Jen and Graham, best of luck this week in NH and IA>> Bob and Russell, thanks for the grub!
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
I slept on my nose funny.
Happy New Year! Yes, I missed sending out last week's horoscopes but really, one week out of 52 ain't that bad. So Happy New Year to you all! Now get ready for the real New Year, this year's Lunar New Year is the Green Wooden Monkey Year, which falls on January 22, 2004. If you are in New York, then check out this site with the NYC celebrations. Also, if you are in NY and did not call me to say hi, then shame on you. http://www.chinatown-online.com/year/year.shtml+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My ROCK STAR friend Jen Giles is working at WBUR in Boston and produced the following segments. I meant to send an update before the segments aired, but of course, my mind is a lentil soup of disorder. So here are the links to her segments!http://www.theconnection.org/shows/2003/12/20031222_b_main.aspStanley MilgramIn 1961, a young assistant professor at Yale conducted what some say was the most important psychological experiment of all time. Stanley Milgram wanted to test the limits of authority in a supposedly civilized country to see just how much cruelty would average people inflict on their fellow citizens just because they were told to. In the famous electroshock experiment, 65 percent of the volunteers -- some of them clean-cut Yale men -- believed they were torturing Milgram's test subjects, and did so just because a man in a lab coat told them to. The famous experiment is still Exhibit A in every college psychology course. But what did it prove?http://www.theconnection.org/shows/2003/12/20031224_b_main.aspShoutout From On HighThe Roman Emperor Julian wasn't a big fan of the yodel. The sing-songy shout out that conjures images of mountain maidens with long blond braids reportedly irritated the 4th century ruler. In his short three-year reign he wasn't able to silence the many centuries, and styles, of yodeling that would come after him. What likely began as a communication means for cattle herders in the Swiss Alps has enjoyed some artful adaptations, from cowboy ballads and the blues, to rap and rock n' roll. And the story of the yodel's evolution from occupational past-time to cultural icon, and from the agrarian Alps to Appalachia and beyond, is as much about migration as it is about music. The hills, and our studio, are alive with the sounds of music.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>> My nephew Fraham, who is now 2 years old
>> Foliver, Fraula and Freven (but only a small dedication to Freven ;P), LOTR3 on IMAX!
>> Frfrancine and Frynda for allowing me to find my inner disco freak and what a wonderful brunch it was
>> Frann and Frabney and Fiedler
>> Frori and Frick, good to see you both!
>> Frim Freckscher Frecker, girl, thanks for the Picasso books
Wednesday, December 3, 2003
Mmmmm -- tangy! (12/3/03)
> Subject: Mmmmm -- tangy!
> Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 10:39:37 -0500
> From: "PARK, MICHELLE"
>
> Hey - my head has stopped spinning! No more
> vertigo/inner ear imbalance! Thanks to all for you
> support :-)
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> I was always a Hellman's (or Best, depending on
> which part of the US you are from) mayonnaise
> person. Your basic mayonnaise - nothing fancy, rich
> tasting, and a very white food. Loved it with
> sandwiches, especially bologna. Fantastic in an egg
> salad. Perfect in tuna. You get the drift. So, I
> was a very loyal Hellman's shopper. And I hated
> Miracle Whip. Thought it was just nasty. Weird
> tangy chemical aftertaste. Freaked me out the first
> time I had it. I think I spit the food out because
> it tasted like it was past its expiration date - but
> nope, turned out it was Miracle Whip.
>
> But things change. People get older, tastes mature.
> And then you have Thanksgiving and all of this
> leftover turkey and these tiny dinner rolls (you
> know the ones, the enriched flour rolls made with
> butter and tons of preservatives?) and a jar of
> Miracle Whip. So you try it. And you fall head
> over heels in love with Miracle Whip.
>
> So, now, I am a convert. I can't believe I like a
> product that has registered trademarked the phrase
> "Tangy Zip." Did you know that Mayonnaise adds 11
> grams of fat and 0% Tangy Zip® and Miracle Whip®
> adds 4 grams of fat and 100% Tangy Zip®?
>
> And not only is Miracle Whip® a great "salad
> dressing" (per the label) it also has other uses:
>
> You can make a Miracle Whip Cake!:
>
http://www.vtliving.com/recipes/desserts/miraclewhipcake.shtml
>
> From http://www.chefnoah.com/tips/miracle_whip.htm
> Personally, you can do this with mayonnaise as well,
> but I think it is funny that this guy is using
> MIRACLE WHIP for this stuff. He must be using
> gallon jugs of Miracle Whip. [Of course, what is
> not funny is that this guy's web site offers
> information for disaster and emergency preparedness
> - including bulk food storage and cooking, and
> general information about chemical warfare. EEK -
> can I find them or what?]
>
> Condition your hair.
> Apply one-half cup Miracle Whip to dry hair once a
> week as a conditioner. Leave on for thirty minutes,
> then rinse a few times before shampooing thoroughly.
>
> Remove a ring stuck on a finger.
> Smear on some Miracle Whip and slide the ring off.
>
> Give yourself a facial and tighten pores.
> Miracle Whip helps moisten dry skin when applied as
> a face mask. Wait twenty minutes, then wash it off
> with warm water followed by cold water. (Michelle's
> note: EUW)
>
> Remove white rings and spots from wood furniture.
> Wipe on Miracle Whip, let stand for an hour, wipe
> off, and polish the furniture.
>
> Remove tar.
> Spread a teaspoon of Miracle Whip on tar, rub, and
> wipe off.
>
> Soothe sunburn and windburn pain.
> Use Miracle Whip as a skin cream.
>
> Remove dead skin.
> Rub a dab of Miracle Whip into your skin and let it
> for dry a few minutes. While the skin is moist
> massage with your fingertips. Dead skin will rub off
> your feet, knees, elbows, or face.
>
> Remove chewing gum from hair.
> Rub a dollop of Miracle Whip into the chewing gum.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>
> >> Irene, good luck and keep in touch!
> >> Jude, this isn't goodbye..yet
> >> Ann and Dabney, I am thankful for you - and
> Miracle Whip
> >> Saumya, thanks for checking in with me during my
> spin cycle
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Free Will Astrology
> Horoscopes for week of December 4, 2003
> By Rob Brezsny
> © 1995-2003, Rob Brezsny
> www.freewillastrology.com
>
>
> Aries (March 21-April 19)
>
> British performance artist Mark McGowan was offended
> by the widespread international mockery of his
> country's cuisine. In protest, he decided to express
> his pride by turning himself into an English
> breakfast. A store near London let him live in the
> front window for 12 days, during which time he sat
> in a vat of baked beans with a crown of sausages on
> his head and a deep-fried potato wedge lodged in
> each nostril. In the coming week, Aries, the
> astrological omens suggest you should be as bold and
> imaginative as McGowan in support of your own pet
> cause.
>
>
> Taurus (April 20-May 20)
>
> If typical, you will make love about 2,500 times in
> your lifetime. But maybe only 25 of those encounters
> will offer this week's blend of physical rapture and
> spiritual breakthrough. I'm not exaggerating,
> Taurus. The cosmos is inviting you to be the
> recipient of a mind-expanding peak experience or
> two. To take maximum advantage, be as innocent and
> open as you dare. Find the place in you where lust
> and compassion overlap. (P.S. You don't necessarily
> need a partner to enjoy these gifts. If you're
> single, shed any shame you have about solo sex and
> explore its mysteries.)
>
>
> Gemini (May 21-June 20)
>
> Every poll I've seen asserts that far more women
> than men make use of astrology. It was only a matter
> of time before macho dudes discovered this and
> sought to exploit it. One such guy is Gemini Pat
> Burrell, a baseball player for the Philadelphia
> Phillies. In an interview in a men's magazine, he
> marveled at how much success he'd had on first dates
> by talking about horoscopes. In the coming weeks,
> his experience will apply to you -- only more so. No
> matter what gender or sexual preference you are,
> discussing astrology will be a surefire way to
> advance romance. For that matter, initiating
> conversations about any subject that gives a mythic
> flavor to intimate matters will stimulate the flow
> of sexy vibes. You might want to check out Skymates:
> Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology, by Jodie and
> Steven Forrest.
>
>
> Cancer (June 21-July 22)
>
> I'm worried you'll suffer an attack of shyness or
> modesty this week. Instead of pushing to get exactly
> what you want, you might dream up lame excuses to
> explain to yourself why it's OK if you don't get
> exactly what you want. Or you may be satisfied too
> easily and retreat to your hiding place before fate
> has a chance to bestow the fullness of its
> unexpected blessings on you. Please fight off this
> trend, Cancerian. Give your inner wimp a dozen roses
> and send your inner warrior out to collect your just
> deserts.
>
>
> Leo (July 23-August 22)
>
> Pop quiz! 1. You are so attractive these days that
> you risk rousing the envy of people whose support
> you need. True or false? 2. You now have the ability
> to change the weather merely by wiggling your
> eyebrows or wrinkling your nose. True or false? 3.
> Since you are so exceptionally fertile -- with an
> equal power to supercharge the growth of beautiful
> blooms and nasty weeds -- you will have to be very
> discriminating about where you point your mojo. True
> or false? 4. You are unusually susceptible to being
> manipulated through flattery. True or false?
>
> Virgo (August 23-September 22)
>
> The Chilean Congress has recently considered a bill
> that would mandate afternoon siestas for all
> workers. As a nap activist who has lobbied long and
> hard for everyone to get more dream time, I cheered
> this revolutionary proposal. Now I'm asking you,
> Virgo, to join me in the struggle to gain even more
> sleepers' rights. What specific action can you take?
> For starters, spend more time asleep and dreaming in
> the coming week than you ever have -- and don't let
> any workaholic, sleep-deprived cranky-head shame you
> for it. Your productivity will rise; I guarantee it.
> (P.S. The astrological moment is also ripe for you
> to rise up against the tyranny of Type A
> overachievers who think everyone should be as
> addicted to stress as they are.)
>
>
> Libra (September 23-October 22)
>
> Octopuses have eyes that can focus on two different
> scenes simultaneously. In some species one eye is
> specialized to see things in the murky depths while
> the other eye concentrates on sights in sunlit
> waters. I suggest you make this creature your power
> animal in the coming week. To keep apprised of the
> complex plots that will be unfolding around you in
> every direction, you will need the equivalent of the
> octopus's vision.
>
>
> Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
>
> For a mere $99.95, I could remove the curse you're
> suffering from. But I'd feel bad about taking your
> money when you could get rid of the damn thing
> yourself. In fact, why don't you do just that, and
> send yourself a check for $99.95? Here's all you
> have to do. Step one: Visualize an object that
> symbolizes the accursed influence. Picture yourself
> throwing it into a furnace. Step two: Visualize the
> person you feel is most responsible for the curse.
> Imagine that one end of a rope is tied around your
> waist and the other end around the person. Picture
> yourself cutting through the rope with a chainsaw as
> you call out, "You have no friggin' power over me!"
> Step three: Repeat steps one and two twice a day for
> 11 days. Step four: On the eleventh day, laugh so
> long and hard that you fall on the floor and cry
> tears of joyful release.
>
>
> Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
>
> Master astrologer Steven Forrest believes you
> Sagittarians often thrive on learning things the
> hard way. I agree. Here are my three explanations of
> why this is so. 1. One of your main tasks in life is
> to cultivate wisdom, and you'll never accomplish
> that if everything comes too easily for you. 2. To
> maintain your mental hygiene, you need to push
> regularly into the unknown, where the rules for
> success are as yet unwritten. 3. You are sometimes
> susceptible to being dogmatic, which can interfere
> with your ability to discern simple, obvious,
> up-to-the-minute truths. To shock you out of your
> tunnel vision, your higher self needs to trick you
> into making interesting mistakes.
>
>
> Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
>
> "Slashing through undergrowth and counting poop is
> an expensive, time-consuming, dirty, hot, and nasty
> business," said Dr. Richard Ruggiero of the African
> Elephant Conservation Fund. Quoted by Andrew Revkin
> in the New York Times, he was talking about studying
> forest elephants that are threatened with
> extinction. But I immediately thought of you when I
> read that, Capricorn. It's a good metaphor for
> what's happening in your life. An important and
> beautiful aspect of your animal nature is in peril,
> and the only way to save it may be for you to do
> work that fits Ruggiero's description.
>
>
> Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
>
> Psychotherapy obsesses on what's wrong with people
> and gives short shrift to what's right. The manual
> of the profession is a 943-page text called the
> DSM-IV that identifies scores of pathological states
> but no healthy ones. I often complain about this
> tragic fact and ask my readers to help me compile
> material for a proposed Anti-DSM-IV, a compendium of
> all the positive, noble, feel-good categories. One
> reader, Alka Bhargava, has suggested a condition
> that you Aquarians will be able to achieve regularly
> this week. He calls it "Joyful Poignance," and
> describes it like this: "The ability to be buoyantly
> joyful while remaining aware of the sadness,
> injustices, ancient wounds, and future fears that
> form the challenges in an examined life."
>
>
> Pisces (February 19-March 20)
>
> You might enjoy Pearl Cleage's novel Some Things I
> Never Thought I'd Do. It's got soulful characters, a
> strong social consciousness, and a dramatic mix of
> suffering and redemption. But you don't have to read
> the book to carry out the advice in this week's
> horoscope. All you have to do is write your own
> personal version of "Some Things I Never Thought I'd
> Do" -- a two-page stream-of-consciousness essay is
> fine -- and then go out and start actually doing the
> things you've described therein.
> Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 10:39:37 -0500
> From: "PARK, MICHELLE"
>
> Hey - my head has stopped spinning! No more
> vertigo/inner ear imbalance! Thanks to all for you
> support :-)
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> I was always a Hellman's (or Best, depending on
> which part of the US you are from) mayonnaise
> person. Your basic mayonnaise - nothing fancy, rich
> tasting, and a very white food. Loved it with
> sandwiches, especially bologna. Fantastic in an egg
> salad. Perfect in tuna. You get the drift. So, I
> was a very loyal Hellman's shopper. And I hated
> Miracle Whip. Thought it was just nasty. Weird
> tangy chemical aftertaste. Freaked me out the first
> time I had it. I think I spit the food out because
> it tasted like it was past its expiration date - but
> nope, turned out it was Miracle Whip.
>
> But things change. People get older, tastes mature.
> And then you have Thanksgiving and all of this
> leftover turkey and these tiny dinner rolls (you
> know the ones, the enriched flour rolls made with
> butter and tons of preservatives?) and a jar of
> Miracle Whip. So you try it. And you fall head
> over heels in love with Miracle Whip.
>
> So, now, I am a convert. I can't believe I like a
> product that has registered trademarked the phrase
> "Tangy Zip." Did you know that Mayonnaise adds 11
> grams of fat and 0% Tangy Zip® and Miracle Whip®
> adds 4 grams of fat and 100% Tangy Zip®?
>
> And not only is Miracle Whip® a great "salad
> dressing" (per the label) it also has other uses:
>
> You can make a Miracle Whip Cake!:
>
http://www.vtliving.com/recipes/desserts/miraclewhipcake.shtml
>
> From http://www.chefnoah.com/tips/miracle_whip.htm
> Personally, you can do this with mayonnaise as well,
> but I think it is funny that this guy is using
> MIRACLE WHIP for this stuff. He must be using
> gallon jugs of Miracle Whip. [Of course, what is
> not funny is that this guy's web site offers
> information for disaster and emergency preparedness
> - including bulk food storage and cooking, and
> general information about chemical warfare. EEK -
> can I find them or what?]
>
> Condition your hair.
> Apply one-half cup Miracle Whip to dry hair once a
> week as a conditioner. Leave on for thirty minutes,
> then rinse a few times before shampooing thoroughly.
>
> Remove a ring stuck on a finger.
> Smear on some Miracle Whip and slide the ring off.
>
> Give yourself a facial and tighten pores.
> Miracle Whip helps moisten dry skin when applied as
> a face mask. Wait twenty minutes, then wash it off
> with warm water followed by cold water. (Michelle's
> note: EUW)
>
> Remove white rings and spots from wood furniture.
> Wipe on Miracle Whip, let stand for an hour, wipe
> off, and polish the furniture.
>
> Remove tar.
> Spread a teaspoon of Miracle Whip on tar, rub, and
> wipe off.
>
> Soothe sunburn and windburn pain.
> Use Miracle Whip as a skin cream.
>
> Remove dead skin.
> Rub a dab of Miracle Whip into your skin and let it
> for dry a few minutes. While the skin is moist
> massage with your fingertips. Dead skin will rub off
> your feet, knees, elbows, or face.
>
> Remove chewing gum from hair.
> Rub a dollop of Miracle Whip into the chewing gum.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>
> >> Irene, good luck and keep in touch!
> >> Jude, this isn't goodbye..yet
> >> Ann and Dabney, I am thankful for you - and
> Miracle Whip
> >> Saumya, thanks for checking in with me during my
> spin cycle
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Free Will Astrology
> Horoscopes for week of December 4, 2003
> By Rob Brezsny
> © 1995-2003, Rob Brezsny
> www.freewillastrology.com
>
>
> Aries (March 21-April 19)
>
> British performance artist Mark McGowan was offended
> by the widespread international mockery of his
> country's cuisine. In protest, he decided to express
> his pride by turning himself into an English
> breakfast. A store near London let him live in the
> front window for 12 days, during which time he sat
> in a vat of baked beans with a crown of sausages on
> his head and a deep-fried potato wedge lodged in
> each nostril. In the coming week, Aries, the
> astrological omens suggest you should be as bold and
> imaginative as McGowan in support of your own pet
> cause.
>
>
> Taurus (April 20-May 20)
>
> If typical, you will make love about 2,500 times in
> your lifetime. But maybe only 25 of those encounters
> will offer this week's blend of physical rapture and
> spiritual breakthrough. I'm not exaggerating,
> Taurus. The cosmos is inviting you to be the
> recipient of a mind-expanding peak experience or
> two. To take maximum advantage, be as innocent and
> open as you dare. Find the place in you where lust
> and compassion overlap. (P.S. You don't necessarily
> need a partner to enjoy these gifts. If you're
> single, shed any shame you have about solo sex and
> explore its mysteries.)
>
>
> Gemini (May 21-June 20)
>
> Every poll I've seen asserts that far more women
> than men make use of astrology. It was only a matter
> of time before macho dudes discovered this and
> sought to exploit it. One such guy is Gemini Pat
> Burrell, a baseball player for the Philadelphia
> Phillies. In an interview in a men's magazine, he
> marveled at how much success he'd had on first dates
> by talking about horoscopes. In the coming weeks,
> his experience will apply to you -- only more so. No
> matter what gender or sexual preference you are,
> discussing astrology will be a surefire way to
> advance romance. For that matter, initiating
> conversations about any subject that gives a mythic
> flavor to intimate matters will stimulate the flow
> of sexy vibes. You might want to check out Skymates:
> Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology, by Jodie and
> Steven Forrest.
>
>
> Cancer (June 21-July 22)
>
> I'm worried you'll suffer an attack of shyness or
> modesty this week. Instead of pushing to get exactly
> what you want, you might dream up lame excuses to
> explain to yourself why it's OK if you don't get
> exactly what you want. Or you may be satisfied too
> easily and retreat to your hiding place before fate
> has a chance to bestow the fullness of its
> unexpected blessings on you. Please fight off this
> trend, Cancerian. Give your inner wimp a dozen roses
> and send your inner warrior out to collect your just
> deserts.
>
>
> Leo (July 23-August 22)
>
> Pop quiz! 1. You are so attractive these days that
> you risk rousing the envy of people whose support
> you need. True or false? 2. You now have the ability
> to change the weather merely by wiggling your
> eyebrows or wrinkling your nose. True or false? 3.
> Since you are so exceptionally fertile -- with an
> equal power to supercharge the growth of beautiful
> blooms and nasty weeds -- you will have to be very
> discriminating about where you point your mojo. True
> or false? 4. You are unusually susceptible to being
> manipulated through flattery. True or false?
>
> Virgo (August 23-September 22)
>
> The Chilean Congress has recently considered a bill
> that would mandate afternoon siestas for all
> workers. As a nap activist who has lobbied long and
> hard for everyone to get more dream time, I cheered
> this revolutionary proposal. Now I'm asking you,
> Virgo, to join me in the struggle to gain even more
> sleepers' rights. What specific action can you take?
> For starters, spend more time asleep and dreaming in
> the coming week than you ever have -- and don't let
> any workaholic, sleep-deprived cranky-head shame you
> for it. Your productivity will rise; I guarantee it.
> (P.S. The astrological moment is also ripe for you
> to rise up against the tyranny of Type A
> overachievers who think everyone should be as
> addicted to stress as they are.)
>
>
> Libra (September 23-October 22)
>
> Octopuses have eyes that can focus on two different
> scenes simultaneously. In some species one eye is
> specialized to see things in the murky depths while
> the other eye concentrates on sights in sunlit
> waters. I suggest you make this creature your power
> animal in the coming week. To keep apprised of the
> complex plots that will be unfolding around you in
> every direction, you will need the equivalent of the
> octopus's vision.
>
>
> Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
>
> For a mere $99.95, I could remove the curse you're
> suffering from. But I'd feel bad about taking your
> money when you could get rid of the damn thing
> yourself. In fact, why don't you do just that, and
> send yourself a check for $99.95? Here's all you
> have to do. Step one: Visualize an object that
> symbolizes the accursed influence. Picture yourself
> throwing it into a furnace. Step two: Visualize the
> person you feel is most responsible for the curse.
> Imagine that one end of a rope is tied around your
> waist and the other end around the person. Picture
> yourself cutting through the rope with a chainsaw as
> you call out, "You have no friggin' power over me!"
> Step three: Repeat steps one and two twice a day for
> 11 days. Step four: On the eleventh day, laugh so
> long and hard that you fall on the floor and cry
> tears of joyful release.
>
>
> Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
>
> Master astrologer Steven Forrest believes you
> Sagittarians often thrive on learning things the
> hard way. I agree. Here are my three explanations of
> why this is so. 1. One of your main tasks in life is
> to cultivate wisdom, and you'll never accomplish
> that if everything comes too easily for you. 2. To
> maintain your mental hygiene, you need to push
> regularly into the unknown, where the rules for
> success are as yet unwritten. 3. You are sometimes
> susceptible to being dogmatic, which can interfere
> with your ability to discern simple, obvious,
> up-to-the-minute truths. To shock you out of your
> tunnel vision, your higher self needs to trick you
> into making interesting mistakes.
>
>
> Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
>
> "Slashing through undergrowth and counting poop is
> an expensive, time-consuming, dirty, hot, and nasty
> business," said Dr. Richard Ruggiero of the African
> Elephant Conservation Fund. Quoted by Andrew Revkin
> in the New York Times, he was talking about studying
> forest elephants that are threatened with
> extinction. But I immediately thought of you when I
> read that, Capricorn. It's a good metaphor for
> what's happening in your life. An important and
> beautiful aspect of your animal nature is in peril,
> and the only way to save it may be for you to do
> work that fits Ruggiero's description.
>
>
> Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
>
> Psychotherapy obsesses on what's wrong with people
> and gives short shrift to what's right. The manual
> of the profession is a 943-page text called the
> DSM-IV that identifies scores of pathological states
> but no healthy ones. I often complain about this
> tragic fact and ask my readers to help me compile
> material for a proposed Anti-DSM-IV, a compendium of
> all the positive, noble, feel-good categories. One
> reader, Alka Bhargava, has suggested a condition
> that you Aquarians will be able to achieve regularly
> this week. He calls it "Joyful Poignance," and
> describes it like this: "The ability to be buoyantly
> joyful while remaining aware of the sadness,
> injustices, ancient wounds, and future fears that
> form the challenges in an examined life."
>
>
> Pisces (February 19-March 20)
>
> You might enjoy Pearl Cleage's novel Some Things I
> Never Thought I'd Do. It's got soulful characters, a
> strong social consciousness, and a dramatic mix of
> suffering and redemption. But you don't have to read
> the book to carry out the advice in this week's
> horoscope. All you have to do is write your own
> personal version of "Some Things I Never Thought I'd
> Do" -- a two-page stream-of-consciousness essay is
> fine -- and then go out and start actually doing the
> things you've described therein.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
TAX FREE HOROSCOPES! (8/23/03)
Oops - about to let another Wednesday go without a horoscope. With quitting smoking, my brain is finally coming out of the fog. But it’s been a very, very slow process. I don’t wish this process on anyone, well, anyone who doesn’t smoke. If you do smoke, do consider quitting. Although TERRIBLY hard, once you succeed, you won’t regret it.
However, if you don’t want to quit, then don’t. I don’t think anyone can force someone who smokes to quit. That person has to be damn well ready to quit.
========================
So, last week I asked the following:
It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.
Some of you answered:
-- NO I will to run down 5 flights in the wee hours of the morning to check out some action on the gritty street of the crack central. -- No, will not go out to check activity. likely to gawk from a safe window, or gawk at the site 3 days later!
-- If I heard gunshots outside at 3 am, I would look out my window and see if I could see anything. If I could see the trouble, I would definitely call 911. Otherwise, I would take my cell phone and go outside, cautiously. And then call 911 as I applied pressure to the bleeding person’s wound. :-)
I tend to be the kind of person who stops and gets out of her car to help at
an accident-if there aren’t already police or other a bunch of other people
helping. Or if a woman or family or decent looking guy is broken down on
the side of the road, I stop to offer my cell phone. Geez I sound like a
goody-goody. And I guess I kinda am. I like the feeling of helping
someone; it makes my own troubles seem less significant. But really it’s
that I like to be where the action is. I like the rush of crisis. So
there you go.
-- Running out into a gun battle without a gun -foolishness.
My answer: I would sleep through the whole thing. Once, when I lived in Greenpoint (Brooklyn) above the Greenpoint stop on the G train, I woke up to find my roommate dragging herself around the kitchen. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink. I asked her what was wrong and she said to me incredulously, “You didn’t hear the gunshots and commotion last night?” Nope. I sleep like a log. A giant sequoia with moss all over it. Turns out that there were gunshots in the subway around 1 AM and then cops and ambulances and fire trucks showed up outside out door. Or window really. We lived on the second floor.
And I didn’t hear a thing.
========================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
> The sun, for coming out and giving us one nice weekend this summer. It
was glorious.
> Ertischek, great seeing you
> Mark, thanks for the book!
> Mars, I want to be close to you, just you and nobody else but you!
> SUNITA AND GREG!!!! 4 MORE DAYS, 4 MORE DAYS!!!!! (They are getting
married on Sunday)
========================
Note: If you ever plan on sending me something, please do not send it to my home address, but rather my work address. As I have no doorman or super (i.e., I am very, very low on the NYC housing totem pole. I am a couple of levels shy of living in a cardboard box. Actually, I do live in a square-ish shaped apartment, but at least mine is in Manhattan, thus keeping me a little higher on the unreal estate scale), large mail is attempted, but usually is sent back to the sender. Now, this is not a plea for presents :) or a plea for empty boxes to be mailed to me. But just a note to let you know that I live in a place where I can’t get mail.Another note: just in case you don’t know, I changed jobs a year ago. If you need my new work phone/address, please let me know.
However, if you don’t want to quit, then don’t. I don’t think anyone can force someone who smokes to quit. That person has to be damn well ready to quit.
========================
So, last week I asked the following:
It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.
Some of you answered:
-- NO I will to run down 5 flights in the wee hours of the morning to check out some action on the gritty street of the crack central.
-- If I heard gunshots outside at 3 am, I would look out my window and see if I could see anything. If I could see the trouble, I would definitely call 911. Otherwise, I would take my cell phone and go outside, cautiously. And then call 911 as I applied pressure to the bleeding person’s wound. :-)
I tend to be the kind of person who stops and gets out of her car to help at
an accident-if there aren’t already police or other a bunch of other people
helping. Or if a woman or family or decent looking guy is broken down on
the side of the road, I stop to offer my cell phone. Geez I sound like a
goody-goody. And I guess I kinda am. I like the feeling of helping
someone; it makes my own troubles seem less significant. But really it’s
that I like to be where the action is. I like the rush of crisis. So
there you go.
-- Running out into a gun battle without a gun -foolishness.
My answer: I would sleep through the whole thing. Once, when I lived in Greenpoint (Brooklyn) above the Greenpoint stop on the G train, I woke up to find my roommate dragging herself around the kitchen. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink. I asked her what was wrong and she said to me incredulously, “You didn’t hear the gunshots and commotion last night?” Nope. I sleep like a log. A giant sequoia with moss all over it. Turns out that there were gunshots in the subway around 1 AM and then cops and ambulances and fire trucks showed up outside out door. Or window really. We lived on the second floor.
And I didn’t hear a thing.
========================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
> The sun, for coming out and giving us one nice weekend this summer. It
was glorious.
> Ertischek, great seeing you
> Mark, thanks for the book!
> Mars, I want to be close to you, just you and nobody else but you!
> SUNITA AND GREG!!!! 4 MORE DAYS, 4 MORE DAYS!!!!! (They are getting
married on Sunday)
========================
Note: If you ever plan on sending me something, please do not send it to my home address, but rather my work address. As I have no doorman or super (i.e., I am very, very low on the NYC housing totem pole. I am a couple of levels shy of living in a cardboard box. Actually, I do live in a square-ish shaped apartment, but at least mine is in Manhattan, thus keeping me a little higher on the unreal estate scale), large mail is attempted, but usually is sent back to the sender. Now, this is not a plea for presents :) or a plea for empty boxes to be mailed to me. But just a note to let you know that I live in a place where I can’t get mail.Another note: just in case you don’t know, I changed jobs a year ago. If you need my new work phone/address, please let me know.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
I love tomatoes (8/20/03)
I was talking to my Friendster Jeeyun (yes, I am a member of Friendster. It’s FUN) and she told me a tale of how someone she knows will run outside or look out the window if this person hears activity (such as sirens or shouts or gun shots) outside. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is—this person will go outside, down 5 flights of stairs, to see what is going on. One time, this person walked a couple of blocks to see a fire being put out.
This was in the middle of the night.
Now, I find this unusual behavior, but Jeeyun knows another person who heard gun shots one night and then went outside to see what was going on. There was a gun fight between some gangs and one person died. And Jeeyun’s friend saw this.
What would you have done? It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.
============================
I have been smoke free for five days! Congratulate me!
============================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>> ELECTRICITY
>> Mike, Jen and Graham
>> Jeeyun
>> Irene, Maggie, Jude, May, Kimeka
>> Carey and Steven
>> Michelle E.
>> Mark
>> Lori
>> Francine & Lynda
>> Ann & Dabney
This was in the middle of the night.
Now, I find this unusual behavior, but Jeeyun knows another person who heard gun shots one night and then went outside to see what was going on. There was a gun fight between some gangs and one person died. And Jeeyun’s friend saw this.
What would you have done? It’s 3 AM, you hear gun shots outside. Would you leave your apartment/house and find out what is going on? Would you stay inside your house and call the police? Would you even wake up? I am curious. Please let me know.
============================
I have been smoke free for five days! Congratulate me!
============================
This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>> ELECTRICITY
>> Mike, Jen and Graham
>> Jeeyun
>> Irene, Maggie, Jude, May, Kimeka
>> Carey and Steven
>> Michelle E.
>> Mark
>> Lori
>> Francine & Lynda
>> Ann & Dabney
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
I'm special, sooooo special..... (8/13/03)
Someone you know is turning 31 on Friday. She is quite pleased about this, but not jump up and down happy (see story below). However, time is relative and relatives are good in small doses. So, let's sing me the birthday song:
1...2...3...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE (MEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
:-)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>> Mark - try and stay cool in London. Obviously the gods took someone seriously when they prayed for the rain to stop
>> Ertischek - congratulations on the condo!
>> Sandy - good luck with the painting!
>> Lori - thanks for the ring - Wonder Twin powers activate!
>> Lynn - Go, Lynn, Go, Mini-Tri Queen!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried this new exercise thing yesterday at my gym (yes, I actually worked out). It's called Urban Rebound. Basically it's aerobics on a mini-trampoline. The instructor was this tiny, cute, little compact girl.
She wasn't skinny small, more Tonka truck hard, really. Sort of scary cute. You know she was the captain of her cheerleading squad, smiling widely on top of the human pyramid or being tossed high in the air by big bulky guys who joined the squad to get chicks or there wasn't a gymnastics team at their high school so they joined cheerleading. She seemed to be the kind who would be encouraging one minute and in the next shouting "GO TEAM" in a terrifying roar.
Anyway, she assured me that the class would be easy on my knee (I have a bad knee - I don't know why, but one day, it hurt and then it got worse. Turns out I have a luxating patella. It's an injury that small dogs usually get), but a little hard to get used to. Of course, she said, go at your own pace. Which you know is license for me to slack off.
Well, you would think that bouncing on a mini-trampoline would be fairly easy. Well, you're wrong. It's quite intense as you are bouncing (not too high up, mind you. Your head is to stay level while your legs do this continually squatting jump), kicking your legs this way and that and flinging your arms this way and that. And then there are these intense short sprints where you go triple time. Well, other people went triple time. I went a little faster. I didn't keep in time with the music or the instructor or anyone else in the room. I was creating moves that no one else was or should be doing. I went at my own pace, laughing all the way.
Everyone was so serious. They were concentrating really hard on all of the actions and pushing themselves to be stronger and faster. But what made it all funny is that we were all on little trampolines, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. It was an intensely funny thing to watch.
I had a great time. I kept my own pace through the whole thing, sweating buckets all the way. The person next to me said it takes 3-5 classes to get the motions. I am going again. Why not? It's fun jumping on a trampoline.
1...2...3...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE (MEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
:-)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's horoscopes are dedicated to:
>> Mark - try and stay cool in London. Obviously the gods took someone seriously when they prayed for the rain to stop
>> Ertischek - congratulations on the condo!
>> Sandy - good luck with the painting!
>> Lori - thanks for the ring - Wonder Twin powers activate!
>> Lynn - Go, Lynn, Go, Mini-Tri Queen!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried this new exercise thing yesterday at my gym (yes, I actually worked out). It's called Urban Rebound. Basically it's aerobics on a mini-trampoline. The instructor was this tiny, cute, little compact girl.
She wasn't skinny small, more Tonka truck hard, really. Sort of scary cute. You know she was the captain of her cheerleading squad, smiling widely on top of the human pyramid or being tossed high in the air by big bulky guys who joined the squad to get chicks or there wasn't a gymnastics team at their high school so they joined cheerleading. She seemed to be the kind who would be encouraging one minute and in the next shouting "GO TEAM" in a terrifying roar.
Anyway, she assured me that the class would be easy on my knee (I have a bad knee - I don't know why, but one day, it hurt and then it got worse. Turns out I have a luxating patella. It's an injury that small dogs usually get), but a little hard to get used to. Of course, she said, go at your own pace. Which you know is license for me to slack off.
Well, you would think that bouncing on a mini-trampoline would be fairly easy. Well, you're wrong. It's quite intense as you are bouncing (not too high up, mind you. Your head is to stay level while your legs do this continually squatting jump), kicking your legs this way and that and flinging your arms this way and that. And then there are these intense short sprints where you go triple time. Well, other people went triple time. I went a little faster. I didn't keep in time with the music or the instructor or anyone else in the room. I was creating moves that no one else was or should be doing. I went at my own pace, laughing all the way.
Everyone was so serious. They were concentrating really hard on all of the actions and pushing themselves to be stronger and faster. But what made it all funny is that we were all on little trampolines, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. It was an intensely funny thing to watch.
I had a great time. I kept my own pace through the whole thing, sweating buckets all the way. The person next to me said it takes 3-5 classes to get the motions. I am going again. Why not? It's fun jumping on a trampoline.
Wednesday, August 6, 2003
I need to move to the equator (8/6/03)
> The New York Times
> August 5, 2003
> And the Forecast Is . . .
> By MICHAEL RUBINER
>
>
> Wednesday in New York : Rain. Heavy at times. Followed by periods of
> precipitation.
>
> Thursday : Lingering showers throughout the day.
> Chance of rain 800 percent.
>
>
> Friday : Moist. Damp. Sodden.
>
> Saturday : Rainish. Showery. Precipitacious.
>
> Sunday : Light rain followed by heavy rain followed
> by pouring.
>
> Monday : Unseasonably rainy in the morning.
> Uncharitably rainy in the
> afternoon. Unconscionably rainy in the evening.
>
> Tuesday : Endless showers broken up by occasional
> flooding.
>
> Wednesday : Remember “Waterworld”? Like that, only
> with more rain.
>
> Thursday : Not sunny. The opposite of sunny. Just
> forget about sunny, O.K.?
>
> Friday : Clearing just long enough for you to make
> weekend plans. Followed
> by obscene amounts of rain.
>
> Saturday : Take a wild guess.
>
> Sunday : Incessant, spirit-crushing rain. The kind
> of rain that makes it
> futile to get out of bed in the morning. The kind of
> rain that seems as if
> it will never end. And guess what? It never will.
> Ever. Do you understand?
>
> Monday : Please go away.
>
> Tuesday : Ample, brilliant sunshine throughout the
> day. Wait - did I say
> sunshine? I meant rain. Really hard rain.
>
>
>
> Michael Rubiner is a screenwriter.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> My sentiments EXACTLY. We survived seven months of
> cold, gloomy weather -
> snow, sleet, rain, rain, rain. And then we had
> about 1.5 months of sun.
> Moderate sun, mind you. Nothing to write home
> about. Well, maybe one
> letter. I have to say, I was ecstatic that we had
> any sun at all. And now
> this. All up and down the East coast. Rain,
> clouds, peeks of sun, rain.
> And humidity. I and my hair just can’t take it
> anymore. We are delicate
> flowers!!!! My house plants which don’t get much
> sunlight in the first
> place are drooping (and yes, I did water them).
>
> You know, I was reading Time magazine this week
> (yes, I have started reading
> the rag and no, I haven’t sent Ethan, the winner of
> the haiku contest, my
> subscription yet) and there was an article about how
> major cities actually
> create rain and bad weather. The heat absorbed by
> the buildings, black tar
> roofs, cement walkways, etc., warms up the air by
> 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit
> (-16.944444444444446 degrees Celsius). The heat
> rises, makes clouds and
> rain, etc., etc. The article suggests that
> buildings should you light
> colored sun reflecting paint or insulation on their
> roofs. Personally, I
> think all city dwellers should begin wearing white
> to reflect the heat.
> White should be the new black.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> Have you seen Spellbound? YOU SHOULD. Saumya
> Ramarao and I went to see it
> last Saturday and we both found it to be
> M-A-R-V-E-L-O-U-S and
> E-L-U-C-I-D-A-T-I-V-E. The movie tracks eight kids
> as they progress through
> regional spelling bees and make their way to the
> National Spelling Bee in
> Washington DC. These kids come from all sorts of
> backgrounds and cultures.
> Some put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed
> and others are pressured
> by their parents to succeed. Overall, the story
> really shows how kids in
> America survive. Definitely worth the $10 movie
> ticket price.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>
> >> Saumya
> >> Carey
> >> Francine and Lynda
> >> Holly
> August 5, 2003
> And the Forecast Is . . .
> By MICHAEL RUBINER
>
>
> Wednesday in New York : Rain. Heavy at times. Followed by periods of
> precipitation.
>
> Thursday : Lingering showers throughout the day.
> Chance of rain 800 percent.
>
>
> Friday : Moist. Damp. Sodden.
>
> Saturday : Rainish. Showery. Precipitacious.
>
> Sunday : Light rain followed by heavy rain followed
> by pouring.
>
> Monday : Unseasonably rainy in the morning.
> Uncharitably rainy in the
> afternoon. Unconscionably rainy in the evening.
>
> Tuesday : Endless showers broken up by occasional
> flooding.
>
> Wednesday : Remember “Waterworld”? Like that, only
> with more rain.
>
> Thursday : Not sunny. The opposite of sunny. Just
> forget about sunny, O.K.?
>
> Friday : Clearing just long enough for you to make
> weekend plans. Followed
> by obscene amounts of rain.
>
> Saturday : Take a wild guess.
>
> Sunday : Incessant, spirit-crushing rain. The kind
> of rain that makes it
> futile to get out of bed in the morning. The kind of
> rain that seems as if
> it will never end. And guess what? It never will.
> Ever. Do you understand?
>
> Monday : Please go away.
>
> Tuesday : Ample, brilliant sunshine throughout the
> day. Wait - did I say
> sunshine? I meant rain. Really hard rain.
>
>
>
> Michael Rubiner is a screenwriter.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> My sentiments EXACTLY. We survived seven months of
> cold, gloomy weather -
> snow, sleet, rain, rain, rain. And then we had
> about 1.5 months of sun.
> Moderate sun, mind you. Nothing to write home
> about. Well, maybe one
> letter. I have to say, I was ecstatic that we had
> any sun at all. And now
> this. All up and down the East coast. Rain,
> clouds, peeks of sun, rain.
> And humidity. I and my hair just can’t take it
> anymore. We are delicate
> flowers!!!! My house plants which don’t get much
> sunlight in the first
> place are drooping (and yes, I did water them).
>
> You know, I was reading Time magazine this week
> (yes, I have started reading
> the rag and no, I haven’t sent Ethan, the winner of
> the haiku contest, my
> subscription yet) and there was an article about how
> major cities actually
> create rain and bad weather. The heat absorbed by
> the buildings, black tar
> roofs, cement walkways, etc., warms up the air by
> 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit
> (-16.944444444444446 degrees Celsius). The heat
> rises, makes clouds and
> rain, etc., etc. The article suggests that
> buildings should you light
> colored sun reflecting paint or insulation on their
> roofs. Personally, I
> think all city dwellers should begin wearing white
> to reflect the heat.
> White should be the new black.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -------
> Have you seen Spellbound? YOU SHOULD. Saumya
> Ramarao and I went to see it
> last Saturday and we both found it to be
> M-A-R-V-E-L-O-U-S and
> E-L-U-C-I-D-A-T-I-V-E. The movie tracks eight kids
> as they progress through
> regional spelling bees and make their way to the
> National Spelling Bee in
> Washington DC. These kids come from all sorts of
> backgrounds and cultures.
> Some put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed
> and others are pressured
> by their parents to succeed. Overall, the story
> really shows how kids in
> America survive. Definitely worth the $10 movie
> ticket price.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> This week’s horoscopes go out to:
>
> >> Saumya
> >> Carey
> >> Francine and Lynda
> >> Holly
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Tip-toe through the hoo-hoos (7/30/03)
Have you been watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on Bravo? It's onTuesday nights at 10 PM EST and it is a fantastic show. BravoTV.com > QueerEye for the Straight Guy<http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/> I see men in awhole new light now. For example, things you (men) should not wear at all:
1) Seen on 57th Street, NYC: good looking guy, wavy short blond hair, goodphysique. Problem? The brown leather bomber jacket AND the black leatherpants (WITH PLEATS!!!!). Ruined the whole picture.
2) Also seen on 57th Street, NYC: Man wearing a black t-shirt with thewriting: FBI: Female Body Inspector. Yeah, that's going to get a lot ofhoo-hoos.So wrong, so wrong.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Alex, Carey and Steven - good times
>> Jeeyun and John - good times
>> Sandy, congrats on the house and the job
>> Bob and Russell, have I told you lately that I love you?????
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
GREETINGS FROM FLORIDA (7/16/03)
HI ALL FROM JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA! I am here for thenext six days, ducking the mosquitoes and powershopping through the malls with my mom and dad. Spentan excellent couple of days with Annie Manubay and JenBrown in St. Petersburg. They actually got me out onthe golf course, which I thoroughly enjoyed, funnyenough. Of course, I didn't make it past the first 9,but 9 ain't half bad. Props to them. So, I hope you all have a good week and will talk toyou soon!
=========================
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France, by EricRayvid -- Eric gently reminded me that Lance iscycling to defend his yellow jersey for the fifthtime. Right now, he is in 45th place, but thatdoesn't mean anything at this point.
>> Jen Park, glad you like the shirt
>> Annie Manubay, Happy Birthday!
=========================
This week's horoscopes go out to:
>> Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France, by EricRayvid -- Eric gently reminded me that Lance iscycling to defend his yellow jersey for the fifthtime. Right now, he is in 45th place, but thatdoesn't mean anything at this point.
>> Jen Park, glad you like the shirt
>> Annie Manubay, Happy Birthday!
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Scratch this! (7/10/03)
I know I have mentioned this before, but I strongly urge you to register tovote. If you know you are going to be away for the 2004 PresidentialElections, then make sure you have applied for your absentee ballot. Youcan register at: www.beavoter.org <http://www.beavoter.org> . So get outthere and make a difference!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I just want to thank everyone who is on this newsletter list for yourenthusiasm and warm thoughts. From the haiku contest, I felt the love! Itruly did. I got a lot of great responses from you and it makes me veryhappy that you are all out there and some of you actually read this! That'sgreat :-) So, this week's horoscopes are dedicated to YOU.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes also are dedicated to:
>> I was in lovely Maine this weekend for a wedding (Hey Todd and Sally!)and I got eaten ALIVE by mosquitoes. I wonder whether my blood is justtastier to them. Mosquitoes are seriously evil creatures. Vampires of thesky. I want to thank everyone who gave me anti-itch ointments and generalsupport through my ordeal.
>> Mike, Jen and Graham, for a lovely dinner
>> HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ALEX!
>> HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GOBI!
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!
Wednesday, July 2, 2003
Wocka-doo, wocka-doo, wocka-doo [HAIKU WINNERS] (7/02/03)
NOTE: MY APOLOGIES IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THIS EMAIL TWICE.
=====================================
AND NOW THE RESULTS OF THEUNIVERSAL AMERICAN GRAND NATIONAL HAIKU CONTEST #2
FIVE TIE FOR SECOND PLACE
Listed in alphabetical order by first name:
Idle or Idol
Blue light shines on glazed pupils
Hypnotized by box
By Ann Manubay & Dabney Frake, Boston, MA
Comments:Yes! Death to television!
I like the focus on a type of media, and not a particular outlet
Damn you all to hell
Dubya, Cheney, and your pals.
Christian? Right. Should pray.
By Dan Cohn ("Pluto"), Washington, DC
Comments:Excellent!
The Fox News Channel:
blonde, lip-glossed, botox bimbos.
(Real Journalism)
By Erin Elizabeth Smith & Antonio Carlos DeFeo, Pelham Manor, NY
Comments:Yes!
Don't they all have blond bimbos?
Since when is blond spelled with an e?
Holy war, our way
Teaching patriotic hate,
Xenophobes have won
By Jonathan Bell, Los Angeles, CA
Comments:Ditto
Newspaper Headline:
Jayson Blair-Sign of the Times?
Leaves Black on our Hands.
By Nichole Peterson, San Diego, CA
Comments:
That is magnificent.
Ouch.
And now, for the winner....Drum roll please...This year's winner of the "Why I hate (or dislike) the media" haiku contest,who is not only the second winner ever of this contest, but also coincidentally married to the first ever winner of this contest, is......
THE WINNER, ETHAN DECKER!
Plane crash, seven dead
Pipe bomb, deadly virus, rape
Next: doggy salons
By Ethan Decker, Boulder, CO
Comments:
Clever
Excellent imitation of today's media
++++++++++++++++++++++
Michelle Park's comments:
First I would like to say thank you to everyone who submitted haikus and allof those who pointedly told me that they weren't creative enough or hadenough time to write a haiku. I would like everyone to know that althoughthere were a couple of songwriters in the contest, there were no haikumasters. Well, I take that back, there were a couple of haiku masters, butnobody who is a professional.
Second, I want to say, even though Ethan is married to Kim, the first winnerof the Grand Master Championship haiku contest (note: the first contest'stheme was poultry), there was no nepotism here because I didn't vote. Andneither of the judges knows either Ethan or Kim.
Which leads me to my third point: Enormously large hearted thanks to theHaiku Judges, Masters of their Universes, King and Queen of their owncastles and both literary scholars at heart and in profession:
Professor X
Goddess of Power
++++++++++++++++++++++
AND NOW FOR SOME HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Now, these haikus did reasonably well and rated highly with some of thejudges. So, I thought I might share them with you:
My expectations
drop gently like snow amid
season replacements.
(By Mark)
J. Lo J. Lo J
Ben A. Ben A. Ben A. Ben
Oh, why do I care?
(By Ann & Dabney)
P3n!5 3nLARG3m3nt\
Nekk1d FarM G1rl L5 h0T 4 U
Ju5t OHhhhp3n th15 Ma1L
(By Mike, my brother. I am so PROUD!)
++++++++++++++++++++++
This week's horoscopes go out to:
Michelle Ertischek, thanks for judging
Bob Madison, thanks for judging (FYI: Bob has launched Dinoship, Inc., apublishing and entertainment company specializing in science fiction,fantasy, children's books, graphic novels and wonder products. Dinoship'sbooks and products have one purpose: to create a sense of wonder. Check itout: www.dinoship.com
Sally and Todd - goin' to the chapel and we're goin' getmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarried!
Lori and Audrey - can't wait for the drive up to Maine!
Kitty and Henry - can't wait to see you guys!
Saumya and Neena, thanks for helping me pick out my salwar kameez
Alex, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY
Francine and Lynda, thanks for lending me the sewing machine
Mark, your emails light up my life, they give me hope, to carry on!
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